Warning: Super long rambly post (sorry
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So first of all I'd just like to say wow, I never thought I'd be making this post. I just looked through all of my posts and it's not even a year ago now I was wondering how to go about getting my HRT rec. I had only come out to my wife (then fiance) and 1 or 2 close close friends. I still worked at a job where everyone knew me by my old name. I was depressed and angry and generally in a very bad place. Fast forward to now, my entire life has completely changed for the better. I'm not officially 8 months until the 26th of this month but I felt like posting this now because I hit a huge milestone today. My testosterone levels are finally in the normal female range! 6 weeks ago my endo put me on progesterone in addition to estradiol and Spiro to help lower my T because it was low for the male range but high for the female range. I was at 216. Normal female range is 15-70. Yesterday I had my blood drawn because he wanted to check my T again and see if the progesterone is helping. I just got the results. 16!!! So to celebrate (and also give some cheesy "it gets better" hope to some girls out there who maybe haven't gotten their hormones yet, here's everything that's changed for me:
-my skin is 100 times softer than I ever knew it could be. I feel like a baby's butt.
- my skin is clearer and less oily too
- hair everywhere other than my head grows slower, and comes in softer and lighter
- I sweat less and when I do it's a much lighter sent. Smells stick to my body better- if I put on lotion I can still smell it more than 5 minutes later
- fat redistribution to the max. My face is much rounder and fuller, my jaw isn't as pronounced, I've slimmed in the waist but grown in the hips. My butt is 10 times fuller and rounder. My wife loves me in leggings
- BOOBS: The world's best terrible hassle. I love having boobs it does wonders for my dysphoria but bras are now a necessity and bouncing too much hurts quite a lot. They aren't as sensitive anymore as when I first started HRT but they're still pretty sensitive. I'm currently a 34A and growing bigger all the time.
- my mental state is 100 times better. I still have bad days and I still have depression but now I have a lot less dysphoria. I feel better every time I look in the mirror and I even feel better posting pictures of myself more often. I feel like I'm finally becoming myself.
- I feel emotions so much more strongly now, and feel more connected to them. I understand them better and can feel multiple emotions at once more easily. I cry a lot more easily now.
- I got my legal name change. Now my legal name is Macy and all my cards say it. My license has an F.
- I used to need to go out of my way and do makeup and wear a dress and maybe even then I wouldn't get ma'amed. Now I can go to the store in jeans and a hoodie with my hair in a lazy ponytail and no makeup, and I still get ma'amed. Or at least they give my that stare of androgynous confusion and avoid pronouns all together.
- I got married to a beautiful woman who loves me for exactly who I am and we are having a baby boy in June.
- I ripped off the bandaid and came out 100 percent public. Now everyone who knows me knows. I've gijne full time: I dress full time, I carry a bag, I do my hair and makeup, and I now exclusively use the women's room no matter where I am. I'm not afraid to go in anymore, I feel like I belong.
- I got a new job where nobody has ever known my old name, I've only ever been Macy to them and they all respect my pronouns and people even apologize if they ever misgender me, but 99% of the time everyone just gets it right away.
- my wife and I are on the verge of getting our own place finally and moving out of her transphobic dad's house. Her dad some of her family members are the only people I know who still call me my old name. My wife corrects them all the time but they won't change. That's like the only negative and we'll have our own place soon.
All that in 8 months. Keep the dream alive, girls, it really does get better.
