Would Not Being Super Feminine Make it Difficult to Pass?

[rlacy2018]

I guess that this largely depends on the person, but I want to live my life as naturally as possible. Don't get me wrong, I love makeup, shaving, etc, but I'm quite sure there will come a time when I'd stop. I'm 18, pre-everything, and I guess this mostly depends on how well you would pass regardless, but do all of y'all wear makeup? Is it possible to get a female-like hair growth rate? I don't want to live by anybody's standards, but at the same time I would want to pass. Thoughts?

Love y'all <3,

Riley

[kanad3]

Even cis women who lean towards the mascline side get misgendered from time to time.

[rlacy2018]

Even cis women who lean towards the mascline side get misgendered from time to time.

Yeah, that is true. I guess I'm more worried about people knowing I'm trans rather than thinking I'm a cisman.

[Kendra]

Hi Riley,

The first few days and months younger cis-gender girls wear makeup and try different clothing styles I am pretty sure they are a bit timid and bashful - and often enlist the help of friends to explore and then establish their own style. 

With very few exceptions, those of us who transition are starting out later than cis-gender publicly wearing makeup and other enhancements to appearance (age 18 vs. age 13, or in my case early 50s).  So move the clock back.  Right now you are faced with many of the same questions a 13 year old girl has to tackle.  How much makeup is just right and do I need to wear it all the time?  When and where should I wear that particular dress, etc. 

When a younger cis-gender teenager is first learning to apply makeup she doesn't think of it as passing, but... in a way she is.  She is trying to blend into a social standard.  And there are days she probably won't wear makeup at all.  In the future she might change the oil on her own car and not worry about makeup in the garage wearing overalls.  As she matures into a woman in the future she might wear makeup every day, or only for special occasions, or never. 

Hair.  I'm certainly not an expert but I believe hair growth is determined by three things: family background (genetics), current hormone levels, and health.  An HRT prescription will adjust hormone levels and you can definitely impact health with nutrition and other habits. 

Kendra

[rlacy2018]

Hi Riley,

The first few days and months younger cis-gender girls wear makeup and try different clothing styles I am pretty sure they are a bit timid and bashful - and often enlist the help of friends to explore and then establish their own style. 

With very few exceptions, those of us who transition are starting out later than cis-gender publicly wearing makeup and other enhancements to appearance (age 18 vs. age 13, or in my case early 50s).  So move the clock back.  Right now you are faced with many of the same questions a 13 year old girl has to tackle.  How much makeup is just right and do I need to wear it all the time?  When and where should I wear that particular dress, etc. 

When a younger cis-gender teenager is first learning to apply makeup she doesn't think of it as passing, but... in a way she is.  She is trying to blend into a social standard.  And there are days she probably won't wear makeup at all.  In the future she might change the oil on her own car and not worry about makeup in the garage wearing overalls.  As she matures into a woman in the future she might wear makeup every day, or only for special occasions, or never. 

Hair.  I'm certainly not an expert but I believe hair growth is determined by three things: family background (genetics), current hormone levels, and health.  An HRT prescription will adjust hormone levels and you can definitely impact health with nutrition and other habits. 

Kendra

Thanks Kendra! I think that's a great way of describing everything. I definitely think more like a younger girl than a woman, that's how I feel. I think that's because I 'missed out' so to speak, on girlhood. Missed out on having a sweet 16, going to prom as a girl (I didn't go to prom at all), etc. But thanks for the information!

[Maria77]

To be truthful, unless you are a young transitioner (Jazz) most mtfs need make-up.  I've seen a lot of tranz who just change from a boy's t shirt to a girl's t shirt and expect to pass 100% of the time.  Besides the facial hair issue most of us before ffs need some level of make-up to pass.  Just my opinion.

[mako9802]

No.....but faking being a fem when you aren't will make you stand out.  Every woman isn't super feminine.

[Maria77]

True.  But we are really rhe sum of many parts.  If you are acting masculine and not giving many specific female  gender cues, you will not pass as female a la many butch lesbians.  I think it's more difficult for us because most have some level of male (or vice-versa for ftm) physical traits.  When you add cultural 'male' behaviors, passing will be super tough.

[AnonyMs]

This worries me a bit. I'm quite masculine and I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time changing my mannerisms. I'm not sure how much I even want to, though that could be just because I've not started social transition yet (or depression). I'm kind of hoping FFS will make a serious impact on my ability to pass without trying, but I got a bad feeling about that too. I guess it will be an educational experience.

[Devlyn]

Clumping around is the most unfeminine thing I see beginners doing at the TG events I go to. Looks are not the pinnacle we make them out to be in these "passing" threads.

[sarah1972]

I would tend to say no.
Based on my experience over the past 6 month, I do blend in much better if I am just out and about as "Soccer mom": Blending into my environment (yeah, many soccer moms here), Jeans, sneakers, top, no makeup. Also in the beginning, I noticed that I get gendered correctly more often if I tone it down a bit. I think by now I have developed a style good enough so I can blend in most of the times from gym, kids activities up to business. But I had to learn not to overdo it too...

[Mendi]

For Finland, I´m definitely overdressed and too feminine when compared majority of women and I know it, but then again I haven´t noticed that it would make it more difficult to pass.

But when I visit 80 kilometers south, in Estonia to get laser, or renew my prescriptions...I´m not dressed enough and I´m definitely not feminine enough, when compared to Estonian women, majority of them.

So, it depends again a lot where you live and the culture.

[Karen_A]

To be truthful, unless you are a young transitioner (Jazz) most mtfs need make-up. 

Unless they have boney FFS.

- karen

[Rachel_Christina]

My routine make up wise is normally just do my brows and lashes, and if I'm feeling really crazy I do my eyeshadows and liner.
Sometimes I will go with Mascara. I pass well now. No one looks at me square. .
I have never done the trying to conform thing.
I still can be found most days working on my cars, doing my yard or garden. I will not change what I like to fit a social norm. Sure that would leave me in the same position I was in before transition.
I'm in the process of putting in a 4 tone two post lift for my garage work.
Just be yourself, you will be fine

[Claire_Sydney]

My transition is behind me and I pass in pretty much all circumstances, including in locker rooms.

I transitioned in my mid 30's and I used to wear makeup a lot. These days, I just don't bother unless I am going to a formal corporate event or on a date.

Looking back, I'm not sure makeup was really improving my passability. FFS is what really changed my life. It's a subtle but very significant change.

It took me a while to find a style that both suits me and flatters my appearance. But I'm really happy with where my life is at.

I also don't think it's a good idea to tie our own happiness to whether or not other people recognise us as trans.  It gives other people too much control over our own happiness. Wear what makes you happy perhaps, instead?

Just my ten cents worth.





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[Kendra]

I think Claire has said it well:

> I also don't think it's a good idea to tie our own happiness to whether or not other people recognise us as trans. It gives other people too much control over our own happiness. Wear what makes you happy perhaps, instead?

[justine77]

Hi, I think a lot of it comes down to confidence. I'm androgyne but I wear female clothes and I like make up. I think my face is feminine (some of my friends think a bit too hard looking though), I'm flat chested and don't have any bottom to speak of. Nevertheless I'm almost always taken as a tomboyish female. It always amazes how unobservant most people are, the only people that saw otherwise were other transgender or androgynous girls.  Justine x

[nightingale95]

To be truthful, unless you are a young transitioner (Jazz) most mtfs need make-up.  I've seen a lot of tranz who just change from a boy's t shirt to a girl's t shirt and expect to pass 100% of the time.  Besides the facial hair issue most of us before ffs need some level of make-up to pass.  Just my opinion.

I'd disagree that you need to be as young as Jazz Jennings to pass without makeup or FFS.

I transitioned at 20 and experience no issues with passing.

Granted there are certain extenuating circumstances:

1.) Onset of puberty (in my case, very late)

2.) Genetics (I have a feminine bone structure)

Even with light mustache-shadow I've been called "miss" and my typical dress is unisex t shirts and bootcut jeans.

Also, it's hard for transsexuals to say for certain what our "tells" are since we are the harshest critics in regards to passability because we are aware of traits that cis people wouldn't even be able to pick up on.

[Brenda80]

Honestly 2 ways to look at it.
Observe and Self Characteristics

If you look at women all around you, you noticed that all behaviour/mannerisms are different.
Ranging from feminine to boyish actions.
It's not define. What completes being a woman?
From your topic, it seems to address on mannerism than outlooks.
Honestly being Super feminine is too extreme, I have yet to see one that is Super feminine. Being Super (well subjective to the definition of Super), it could do more to out one instead of blending in. Being loud or overly expressive in mannerism is sure a dead giveaway in cases for people to take more notice. Blending in effectively is to be 'normal' and appropriate to what other women behave around. So take more notice. Also you don't have to lose your characteristics in my opinion, its more of remoulding them to be more softer (well not extreme) to pass.

[Maria77]

I'd disagree that you need to be as young as Jazz Jennings to pass without makeup or FFS.

I transitioned at 20 and experience no issues with passing.

Granted there are certain extenuating circumstances:

1.) Onset of puberty (in my case, very late)

2.) Genetics (I have a feminine bone structure)

Even with light mustache-shadow I've been called "miss" and my typical dress is unisex t shirts and bootcut jeans.

Also, it's hard for transsexuals to say for certain what our "tells" are since we are the harshest critics in regards to passability because we are aware of traits that cis people wouldn't even be able to pick up on.

Like I said above in the end it's the sum of all parts.  The more cues we give the better, although even that formula can go awry.   I guess we all have to find our personal formula that varies on a number of factors.