im scared

[ivallesa]

Okay so a little about myself my name is Alex im 24 ive transitioned 4 times and stopped 4 times I know I know im stupid but im just sooooo petrified of it all I want I need to fully transition for my own health I already know whats going to happen if I don't transition but im scared of telling my doctor that im scared im afraid that if I tell her (she trans BTW) that im scared that she will tell me that I can't get any help or that srs isn't something that will happen for me is it okay to be scared will that tell the doctor that IM not a good candidate for srs? Cause I don't want to hear that I don't think I could handle it has anyone else felt this way?

[ReplacementSarah]

I'm at a different point of my life, so I can't really say that transitioning scares me. However, I imagine it's perfectly natural feeling for many people. As for your doctor, I would suggest honesty when dealing with her. She's there to help you, after all.

If you don't have one already, you should probably seek out a therapist with experience in transgender issues that can help you work through your fear.

[KathyLauren]

Hi, ivalesa!

Welcome to Susan's.

It is normal to be scared.  Everyone is scared when starting this journey.  You aren't going to be denied transition services just for being scared. 

Of course it is okay to tell your doctor.  She will want to be sure that you want to proceed before prescribing HRT or scheduling you for surgery.  That is her job.  It is up to you to decide if you wish to proceed this time or not.

If you are not already seeing a gender therapist, maybe you could ask your doctor to refer you to one.  A good gender therapist will understand the fear that you feel, and will help you to work through it, so that you can choose to proceed if that is what you want.  Like I said, the fear is perfectly normal, and most of a gender therapist's job is to help you to work through it.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum to tell the members about yourself.  Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

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[Stevi]

ivallesa,

If you are scared, it means your being smart.  This is not to be taken lightly.  Your doctor would be more concerned with a nonchalant attitude on your part.  Your doctor likely knows pretty much what is going on in your mind because she has been where you are.  Trust her.  Many of us have had anxieties about revealing our secret to our healthcare givers.  Years ago those fears were well founded.  Nowadays, few of us experience difficulties.  Even from cis individuals.  When we do there are readily available alternatives. 

I am now 68 years old.  I have been working actively now for 10 years to reach the point I have.  A lot of baggage to unpack in various ways.  Many things to keep in play to achieve the best possible outcome. You are in a great position to get further along than many of us possibly can in far less time than it has taken me.

Take some deep breaths.  Get some help.  Gender therapist, if you can.  Read of the experiences of others here on Susan's Place.  Call on us for advice and encouragement.  Dump on us when fears overwhelm.  Rant to us when things go wrong.

You have time to do it, one step at a time, methodically, and have a lifetime to reap the reward.  The point of no return lies far ahead of you so DON'T PANIC!

Listening,
Stevi

[CarlyMcx]

This is my fourth attempt at transitioning.  What it took for me was to realize that this is a medical situation and my health is at stake.

You really should tell your doctor.  I am not a doctor, but IMHO four prior attempts at transitioning is a pretty good indicator that you are trans.  The big question is, why did you abandon prior attempts?  Was it external factors like loss of family, friends and career or was it something internal on your part?

And you should really see a therapist who specializes in gender issues.

[ivallesa]

well no its not external per say if people judge me its no big deal as far as passing goes i say if im actually trying im about 80-90% passable its just i feel my height gives it away im 6'3 the only external thing that scares me is if im clocked by someone whos thoughts turn into something physical i dont want to become another statistic but i tend to play it safe my reasons for stopping and starting like an idiot are more or less emotions its hard to translate into words i feel that if i tell ppl that, that they will think im not serious about this when in truth im deadly serious about this this is my only option im not trying to sound bleak or what have you but lets face it the reality the truth for most trans ppl is transitioning or death not that i want to kill myself or anything so i hope no one thinks that anywho i lost my train of thought lol but no yea its enternal things that stop me i just get this overwhelming fear not that im making a wrong decision i know myself and i know who and what i am i am a woman end of really.....again im just terrified that my doctor will view me as a joke or that when i have the consultation that the doctor my doctor and the person who sings off my mental well being will just tell me "no your dumb you thought you were gonna have srs no bye" i know i know these are irrational fears but i have alot of those btw i have an appointment to see my doctor and talk about all this tomorrow shes also trans so that makes me alot more comfy with everything she actally knows how i feel etc ill let you all know what happens tomorrow night

[Dena]

There is very little to fear out there if take a few precautions that any CIS woman might take. Don't let yourself be in a dangerous place alone. Most places are safe however there are place everybody knows are unsafe either part or all of the day. If possible, avoid these places and if you must go, make sure you have company you trust with you.

There are few places I don't go and I have never had trouble in public. There are a few places I am careful going but they are safe during the day so I do my business then.

Yes the news stories are correct about people getting hurt but there are many of us and the news stories are only about a very small percentage of us. Remember that CIS people also are harmed every day and many never make the news.