Is anyone here able to pass as both male and female?

[4A-GZE]

I'm MtF, but posting here because I figure you all would be more likely to have experience in this situation.

Basically, I haven't transitioned yet. I know that I need to. However, I also know that many of my coworkers are very transphobic. But I love this job and can't imagine leaving it. So... I feel like my only option is to wear a binder at work and just never come out to them. If I ever transfer to a new location, I'll be out from the beginning. But where I am currently, that's just hardly an option. (It would be one thing if I worked in an office or something, but I have to spend all day in a truck with one random person, unsupervised. It's impossible to avoid judgment.)

So, yeah, does anyone (particularly those who are physically female/have breasts) manage to pull it off, living as both extremes?

[Doreen]

I'm MtF, but posting here because I figure you all would be more likely to have experience in this situation.

Basically, I haven't transitioned yet. I know that I need to. However, I also know that many of my coworkers are very transphobic. But I love this job and can't imagine leaving it. So... I feel like my only option is to wear a binder at work and just never come out to them. If I ever transfer to a new location, I'll be out from the beginning. But where I am currently, that's just hardly an option. (It would be one thing if I worked in an office or something, but I have to spend all day in a truck with one random person, unsupervised. It's impossible to avoid judgment.)

So, yeah, does anyone (particularly those who are physically female/have breasts) manage to pull it off, living as both extremes?

Many people... and I mean many have hid their transition from others.  Up to and including FFS as well! People really only have an image in their head of what they think you are, and even if you make incredible changes most people sadly never notice.   Why do I say this?  After I came back from ffs, I had ONE guy look at me, look at me again, and said.. "What'd you do different? You look good!".  Then again I live as myself (female) certainly not straddling the fences between both genders.   I told him "makeup!"  And I was intentionally putting it on a bit heavier for a few weeks too.

That being said I know and have spoken to many that did walk that fine line, for multiple reasons.  I'm certainly not one to judge what is right or wrong for them.. after all, no job = no money = no transition.   We all make the sacrifices we must.

Usually I think it eats people up on the inside not living as how you see yourself all the time;  Some people are immune to this mental gymnastics, however.  If you're one of them, all the more power to you.  If it starts getting you depressed or suicidal, however.. changes should be made eventually, when you can.

Just my 2 cents  

[Tammy Jade]

Yes and No

A lot will depend on factors like hormones and the like.

I got away with it until I started wearing bras and once I hit that point there was no hiding it..

It also depends on what other steps you take. I got my ears pierced, grew my hair into a mullet and was still getting gendered as a guy for the most part when presenting as male.

Once I came out and got my hair cut more feminine and swapped my studs for sleepers, got my nails, brows and lashes done even in my RedBull tops, I get gendered correctly.

There is a fine line between being gendered male/female I found I couldn't balance on it very well and in the end got tired of trying to.

I also found that as I explored my feminine side I wanted to go back less and less and in the end getting ready for work felt like I was locking myself away again.

I'm not saying it can't be done, but finding that middle ground is hard, many of the things that help with passing as a woman you can't just take on and off each weekend.

Hope this helps.
PS love the screen name.


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[Julie -2010]

It sound like l'm in the same boat as you are.  I have not transitioned yet, especially at work.  I don't think I can do it.  I've been on HRT for 14 months but my breast haven't gotten that big yet.  I hide them (pretty easily) in male mode.  I don't think anyone would suspect seeing me in male mode.  I'm thinking about binding if my breast get bigger.  Time will tell.

Julie

[Dani]

4A-GZE,

From your profile, I read that you are only 23 years old. It is much easier for a young person to present as gender fluid or androgynous. I am a late transitioner and even though I transitioned in my 60's, there was many months in my transition where I was alternately sir or madam, on the same day wearing the same clothes, depending mainly on how well someone knew me.

Wearing loose clothing can hide a lot from the people around you. I recommend you do not wear a binder as this will cause problems with growing shapely feminine breasts. 

Really, most people will not notice your breasts until you are well past a B cup and wearing tight clothing. In my transition, I felt very conscious of the giggle on my chest, but hardly anyone noticed my breasts.

[4A-GZE]

Thanks, everyone! I'm a lot less nervous now. I think the hardest part now will be avoiding introducing myself to customers as Caroline. That could definitely cause some confusion.

[Satinjoy]

On full dose HRT, I do it all the time.  Stealth male, female or androgyne.

Genetically fortunate.  And loose shirts.

Haven't been here in a long time, dropped by doing some research on GCS, hello folks, hope all is well especially for those who knew me some years back.

I am alive and thriving.

Satinjoy

[justine77]

Hi there,  I can do it quite easily.  I IDed as androgyne from about 15 and a few years later would alternate between male and female in the way I dressed and acted. For me it's relatively easy as I was always quite feminine looking, slim, delicate features, no facial hair, not an obvious male voice etc. My body is male looking up a point though, good muscle definition as in athletic. In addition to this my testicles were removed when I was 23 (after an accident) and I didn't take any hormone replacement for over a year (as a result I ended up with almost no body hair).  Although genetically male and still with a penis it is easier for me to come across as female most of the time. If I want to look male though I can easily do that to, ie when traveling so I look like the passport picture. It always surprises me how unobservant most people are. Seen dressed as a girl people think I'm a bit of a tomboyish female, seen dressed as a male they see me as a bit unusual but don't know what I am. If you act in the expected way very few people will notice. The only people that realized I wasn't vanilla male or female were other transgender people.     hth  Justine x

[Jamie_06]

I can do it very well visually, but I suspect my voice still gives me away as trans when I'm presenting female. I also need to wear a wig to present effectively as a woman, but my hair is close to getting there. It's actually a necessity for me to pass as both since I am genderfluid.