Transphobia? Is it really fear or just plain meanness?

[LilDevilOfPrada]

There are 3 main factors to this:

• Religion
• Insecurity in ones sexually
• Modern sjws trying to force people to think x

The first 1 not much can be done about as anyone true to their religion would rather die then betray their religion. The second can be fixed through just experiences and the final one is a real problem for our community as crazy people are always in the media just making all of  ushave a harder time. In reality the only way the 3rd one is addressed is if normal trans people get well known for just being humans and not professional victims.

Its not meaniness its experience and until what the average person is feed with everyday is not bad things about trans it really wont change.

[Ally.Tat]

I think there exists a large element in humanity that honestly feel the need to have seething hate or disregard for other elements of society... so you'll find people that hate others based on religion, politics (yes!), culture, upbrining, sexuality, gender, etc...  Even simply having different hair color (the step child redhead cliche).

I don't think it has anything to do with 'fear'.. usually.  Humans in general are just capable of horrible and cruel emotions. Hate is just one of many.  Humans are also capable of amazing acts of loyalty and love.. its just sad to see we haven't gotten beyond the darker aspects. 

To think that they somehow are jealous, fearful, envious, etc... is to probably give them too much credit.  Certainly some might, but definitely not all  I'd even argue even a majority probably simply hate because it makes them feel better (for whatever misguided reasons).  Welcome to human psychology.

I am the proverbial "Redheaded Step Child". I believe humans to be very tribal, in that they want others to be akin to them.

Cis/Heterosexual
Caucasian/Christian

Just examples, you throw an outsider into the mix and things can get bad.



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[Galyo]

There are 3 main factors to this:

• Religion
• Insecurity in ones sexually
• Modern sjws trying to force people to think x

The first 1 not much can be done about as anyone true to their religion would rather die then betray their religion. The second can be fixed through just experiences and the final one is a real problem for our community as crazy people are always in the media just making all of  ushave a harder time. In reality the only way the 3rd one is addressed is if normal trans people get well known for just being humans and not professional victims.

Its not meaniness its experience and until what the average person is feed with everyday is not bad things about trans it really wont change.

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

[Rachel]

I have experienced hate based comments at work mostly from on construction sites from construction workers and on the street mostly from guys getting rejected from their crude sexual advances. The amount of hate based comments are few compared to the number af social interaction I experience. I think those that made the comment are in general dim and I suspect have social interaction issues in other areas. We present a target that has been poorly represented in media and demonized in religion and politics.

[Anne Blake]

Hi Moni, good question and as usual, I am driven to a different angle on this one. My biggest hurdle in understanding myself and transitioning was being able to accept the fact that I am transgender and it was difficult for me to like that, or get past my internal transphobia. Be it socialization by whatever powers that be, I had big problems accepting and liking my transgender self. Was it hate or ignorance or the taught wrongfulness of it all, I have no idea but getting to the point that being transgender was ok allowed me to not end my life but to embrace myself and hence flourish. My partner had a similar hurdle with homophobia, getting past that allowed her to love her now female partner. I expect that most of us have had similar struggles and I for one have a problem calling it hate that I had for myself. Perhaps it is in the definitions we carry but each to their own.

Tia Anne

[HappyMoni]

Hi Moni, good question and as usual, I am driven to a different angle on this one. My biggest hurdle in understanding myself and transitioning was being able to accept the fact that I am transgender and it was difficult for me to like that, or get past my internal transphobia. Be it socialization by whatever powers that be, I had big problems accepting and liking my transgender self. Was it hate or ignorance or the taught wrongfulness of it all, I have no idea but getting to the point that being transgender was ok allowed me to not end my life but to embrace myself and hence flourish. My partner had a similar hurdle with homophobia, getting past that allowed her to love her now female partner. I expect that most of us have had similar struggles and I for one have a problem calling it hate that I had for myself. Perhaps it is in the definitions we carry but each to their own.

Tia Anne

Don't you think, Ann, that if we eliminated the hostility toward our condition by society that us changing our bodies to who we were mentally born to be would be no problem at all in our own minds. "Oh, this physiological condition exists to this part of our population,  let's help them to align body and mind so they could not be mentally distressed!" Just like any other physiological condition! We would have no need for internalized hate.
Then again, human nature is such that many times those who feel bad about themselves look for anyone who is different to step on to boost up their own self worth. Too tall, too short, too heavy, too anything and you are likely to be someone's target for scorn. Trans folk might just be the least powerful of the minorities. We are still fair game because we are so few and the powerful don't care to step up to stand by our side. Hopefully that is starting to change.

[Michelle_P]

Don't you think, Ann, that if we eliminated the hostility toward our condition by society that us changing our bodies to who we were mentally born to be would be no problem at all in our own minds. "Oh, this physiological condition exists to this part of our population,  let's help them to align body and mind so they could not be mentally distressed!" Just like any other physiological condition! We would have no need for internalized hate.
Then again, human nature is such that many times those who feel bad about themselves look for anyone who is different to step on to boost up their own self worth. Too tall, too short, too heavy, too anything and you are likely to be someone's target for scorn. Trans folk might just be the least powerful of the minorities. We are still fair game because we are so few and the powerful don't care to step up to stand by our side. Hopefully that is starting to change.

I'm not Anne, but yes, trans children raised in a loving and accepting environment often do not experience classic gender dysphoria combined with anxiety and depression.  The social pressures demanding conformity are reduced or missing, and they develop in a much healthier way and can flourish.

It's not just 'human' nature.  In several primate species, behavior has been observed in which a marginalized group in turn will pick out the weakest or most variant members of their subgroup to attack and further marginalize.  Presumably they get to feel better about themselves then...

[HappyMoni]

Hi Michelle,
   I see you have been watching Planet of the Apes again! lol

[Michelle_P]

Hi Michelle,
   I see you have been watching Planet of the Apes again! lol

Funny!

The actual behavior has been observed in bonobos and some other primates that live in bands, though.


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[pamelatransuk]

Don't you think, Ann, that if we eliminated the hostility toward our condition by society that us changing our bodies to who we were mentally born to be would be no problem at all in our own minds. "Oh, this physiological condition exists to this part of our population,  let's help them to align body and mind so they could not be mentally distressed!" Just like any other physiological condition! We would have no need for internalized hate.

Precisely. If this hostility did not exist or at least could be diminished somewhat, our lives would be so much easier. The answer of course is education but it takes time to change thinking or culture in society.

Pamela

[natalie.ashlyne]

I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an a$$hole. Quote from morgan freeman . It is the same for Transphobia. There is nothing to be scared of some people are just jerks. Is there jerk phobia?

[StacyRenee]

Can I just make up a new word?

Mysogyny:  dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

Mysandry:   dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men.

My made up word...
Mysotransy:  dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against transgender people.

I've heard the term transmysogyny thrown around, but I'm not sure just how accurate that is etymologically. And don't ask me to pronounce my made up word either! 🤣

[Anne Blake]

Moni, you may be right, but..... Junior high school was one of the worst times of my life, perhaps this is the same for many. I was not aware of any gender identity disconnect within myself, all I knew was that I did not fit in and did not understand the rules of the "Game". For those of us that did not fit in, life was about being on the wrong side of hazing, abusing and getting beat on. This was when I started trying to figure out coping mechanisms big time. I do not believe that the ones doing the abusing and beating would have been open for or even malleable by any form of educating or enlightening. They were all about power structure and maintaining or changing their position in the alpha male (girls probably had their own hierarchy as well) dominance chain. Their fear was losing their position and becoming one of us, the ones getting beat on. I don't believe that this was because I might have been trans or anything in particular, just being somehow different was enough. One time in high school it was enough that I was alone and that there were three of them...enough justification for a beat down, and they did not even know me. It worked for them (them being the "Normal guys accepted by their peers) then and without reason to change, I believe that it still works for them now. Yes, most of them have become more aware of the world and people around them but until they SEE and FEEL a reason to care about the marginalized, they will probably revert back to their tried and true method of dealing with those of us that are different, regardless of the difference be it lgbtq+, long hair, wrong race, wrong religion, wrong form of dress, wrong politics, wrong accent, sometimes even wrong make of car. These are just the ramblings of a crazy old lady, take them for what they are worth.

Tia Anne

[Ally.Tat]

Moni, you may be right, but..... Junior high school was one of the worst times of my life, perhaps this is the same for many. I was not aware of any gender identity disconnect within myself, all I knew was that I did not fit in and did not understand the rules of the "Game". For those of us that did not fit in, life was about being on the wrong side of hazing, abusing and getting beat on. This was when I started trying to figure out coping mechanisms big time. I do not believe that the ones doing the abusing and beating would have been open for or even malleable by any form of educating or enlightening. They were all about power structure and maintaining or changing their position in the alpha male (girls probably had their own hierarchy as well) dominance chain. Their fear was losing their position and becoming one of us, the ones getting beat on. I don't believe that this was because I might have been trans or anything in particular, just being somehow different was enough. One time in high school it was enough that I was alone and that there were three of them...enough justification for a beat down, and they did not even know me. It worked for them (them being the "Normal guys accepted by their peers) then and without reason to change, I believe that it still works for them now. Yes, most of them have become more aware of the world and people around them but until they SEE and FEEL a reason to care about the marginalized, they will probably revert back to their tried and true method of dealing with those of us that are different, regardless of the difference be it lgbtq+, long hair, wrong race, wrong religion, wrong form of dress, wrong politics, wrong accent, sometimes even wrong make of car. These are just the ramblings of a crazy old lady, take them for what they are worth.

Tia Anne

Anne,

I agree with with every thing you just wrote. I think we had a similar experience.
Mine just seemed to level out one day in the library (8th grade).
The boy who had beating me the most, other than my dad, was thumping me on the ear that day during a history lesson. I just lost my marbles, quietly picked my folding steel chair and started bashing him about the head with it.
He left my CRAZY A$$ alone after that, even in high school.

I kinda got a that "Bitch is Crazy" tag after and have kept it!

Ally

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[Michelle_P]

Well, some people are jerks, some people are afraid, some have other issues.  Some folks have a cultural background that makes us out to be a threat to their manhood, as though we are trying to 'trick' them somehow and we need to be called out.

Life for me has gotten interesting recently.  An old, long empty building on the corner has been taken over temporarily to provide daytime services for our local homeless population.  They used to have a center several blocks over, but that has been closed while they construct a new center and affordable housing.  The services center provides some badly needed care and support for these folks, in an area not noted for either affordability or much giving a damn about the homeless.  (Most folks are one paycheck and a bit of bad luck away from homeless, although they don't seem to realize that.)

Many of the homeless people are sharp observers of others, a valuable survival trait.  Many are also from subcultures prizing machismo, and viewing transgender people as somehow trying to trick them.  Many also have essentially no inner censor, speaking about whatever pops into their minds.

This combination is giving me quite the gauntlet to run every time I step out of the apartment.  I'm pretty much getting clocked instantly.

"Hey, dude!  Hows it hanging?"
"Hey, guy, whats with the getup?"
"You a <obscenity deleted>?"
"You ain't tricking me.  <Series of obscenities deleted>"

Fun times.   Perhaps this is acculturated transphobia, or just that lack of an inner censor leading them to speak their minds. 

It certainly confirms that I am not passing, not viewed as being a woman by others, just a dude in a dress after all this time in spite of the HRT, surgery, and comforting lies from friends.  The misgendering I get from folks that know me is just their slipping and letting out what they really see.

[Chaerlie Bjerkenstök]

Can I just make up a new word?

Mysogyny:  dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

Mysandry:   dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men.

My made up word...
Mysotransy:  dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against transgender people.

I've heard the term transmysogyny thrown around, but I'm not sure just how accurate that is etymologically. And don't ask me to pronounce my made up word either! 🤣

I shall be putting your new word out there now, so thank you! I often have the luxury of being able to explain to otherwise ignorant people just exactly what we are and are not and I'm happy to say the outcomes are overwhelmingly positive. I find that the source of most people's fear is putely based on a fear of the unknown that's been reinforced by the uninformed conclusions of other fearful and ignorant people within their peer groups, families, society, etc. Now, to know me is to love me and once people do get to know me their barriers start to crumble and they begin to feel comfortable around me and often start asking questions then. You see, I'm trans-sex. I have a very curvy physique and also have gynocomasty to boot, giving me a full B cup and all without hrt at all. I present as male or female depending upon the context. I'm careful to not come across as too much one way or the other though and my ability to read most people correctly really helps me navigate my way past their prejudices, which is the biggest hurdle. Then they become more open to dialogue.
Being a completely T powered creature, 6ft tall and built like a tank makes them think twice about physical violence too, I think.  A lifetime of being picked on for having a girlish body amongst other things has given me a wellspring of finely controlled rage on tap that apparently can be sensed by most people.
I'm highly intelligent and very intense, to say the least, but i am also infinitely patient with most people, especially those I sense are genuinely trying to understand me and how it must be like to be born this way.
I grew boobs at puberty just like any other woman would and for the longest time hated my body for drawing so much negative attention to me.
Once they get their heads around that the most common comment is something like, Wow, that must have been a nightmare!

Bang!

Empathy has been achieved and from there it gets easier.

I'm also a practicing Christ follower and am well versed in the Bible, being able to quote from it here and there.
Now, when other so called Christians attack me, I first explain that I am exactly as God made me.
No hormones, no augmentations, and would they please explain to me how they could criticise God's own authentic  creation and still count themselves as the Christian they profess to be.

The looks of confusion are priceless.

I fully intend to ask God about that too, when I see him next!

I can't wait for the explanation.  Lol.

All that said, I will in time go onto HRT and beyond because I most definitely have a female brain - brain scans confirm it- oh and that I actually have a brain in there should there be any doubt.

I have the photos to prove it!

There are those though, who just can't or most likely, won't even try to understand my condition and remain hostile. My own brother being one and the primary source of physical and mental abuse in my life. But he hates just about everything, so I don't for one second take that onboard as having anything to do with me. I just happened to be a convenient, captive  target for his hatred, and being 8 years his junior meant I had no way to defend myself from him. It made me tough and I fear no man and very little else in this world. I do fear becoming like him though and that gives me great compassion, empathy and love for people of all makes and models.

How is it fair to attack someone for something they have absolutely no say in, or control over?

It isn't.  Period.

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