I Can Has Boyfriend?

[V M]

So yeah, I've had guy friends in the past but have never really experienced any real intimacy with any of them - Thought about it, came close a few times, but never quite followed through

Sometimes I see guys about and feel a bit of a fancy for them but nothing really seems to come of it

Now there is this guy a bit younger who seems to show interest and I'm beginning to feel a bit of a stir - So I'm trying to decide if I should go for it or not, I feel like some silly nervous school girl or such

He comes over sometimes and has me over sometimes and I do feel a bit of energy in it, my usual ploy with women has been to get a bit kissy and such then invite them to take a shower with me

Not really sure how to lead a guy down the marry path though - Any ideas?

[justarandomname2]

If he seems to want to pursue things further, maybe set like an environment to make it easier for him to do so? I mean I assume most guys want to lead and feel like they're in charge. I think if you're too pushy or aggressive, it could make him shy away.

[Jessica]

You two have started already.  Both socially have each other over to your places.  I'm sure your friendly and have fun together.  Maybe have him over and make a meal for the two of you.  Add a candle on the table.  Make him his favorite pie, or whatever.  Give him signals that will cause a stir with him, without being too forward.  Hold his hand, look in his eyes and you might get a kiss.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[V M]

We are both somewhat shy and he does seem to want to lead but also seems a bit unsure as to how to go about it -

We have shared drinks and dinners together and have hung out watching movies and such on TV

Seems to be testing the water so to speak giving me compliments on how I look and that I smell good - bringing up suggestive topics like the pharmacy locking the condoms in a glass case and how the blooms of some plants either resemble breasts or look phallic in some way

[Jessica]

We are both somewhat shy and he does seem to want to lead but also seems a bit unsure as to how to go about it -

We have shared drinks and dinners together and have hug out watching movies and such on TV

Seems to be testing the water so to speak giving me compliments on how I look and that I smell good - bringing up suggestive topics like the pharmacy locking the condoms in a glass case and how the blooms of some plants either resemble breasts or look phallic in some way

Oh....he is interested!  Time to hold his hand, look in his eyes....and kiss him.

[V M]

Yeah, I was thinking that maybe it was time to come up with a playful plan to lure him in

[Steph7]

Oh hun - he is lured in. Time for you to make a move. It is 2018!!!!

If you wait too long you may miss your chance.

Good luck
Steph

[josie76]

Invite him over for dinner and to watch a movie. Sit on the couch close to him and touch his hand, his shoulder ect. Look him straight in the eyes and he may just go for the kiss right then. If not you go girl! Make it a slow lean in kiss. You don't want him to think you are too assertive just in case he has a delicate male ego going on.

[Bari Jo]

V M this thread has made me happier than any other in a long time.  I wish you the best, and dish when you are ready.  A lot of us are living vicariously through you right now!

Bari Jo

[Laurie]

 Hi V.M.,

  You can try the subtle approach like Michelle_P did with me when I missed all her subtle hints.... Grab his shoulders and plant one on him. I'm sure he'll get the message then.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[AshleyPixune]

Perhaps just tell him how you feel?  Maybe he doesn't want to "assume" anything with your relationship, and simply telling him that you enjoy spending a lot of time with him could help him to become more confident.  Plus, if you're reading things wrong, planting a kiss on him would be the worst thing, in my opinion.
~Ashley

[Northern Star Girl]

@V M and others.....
Well, this is certainly a very interesting and timely thread for me to read considering that just in the last month or so I have garnered 3 Male Suitors and 1 Female Suitor.   I have been on a few dinner dates and some casual dates involving hand holding, close hugging and fairly quick kisses... (no tongue, LOL).

One of my Suitors wants to move along much faster than I am comfortable with and they seem to be OK with the fact that I want to go more slowly.   

This is all new territory for me... it is very exciting and flattering and wonderful but at the same time it can be a scary and frightening new thing for me....   
In my humble opinion, at least for me... slower is better....
Danielle

[Mariah]

Just be careful how quickly you move so can ensure both you and him are comfortable.

Yeah, I was thinking that maybe it was time to come up with a playful plan to lure him in

[FinallyMichelle]

I agree with Bari Jo, great thread that makes me smile.

My grandma and I never really got over me being the way that I am. I had moved out when I was 15 and rented a house, my brother followed shortly after. My brother and his best friend were the hottest guys in Hillbillyville WV. My grandma would come and help me clean every Saturday and help me cook meals for my brother and I for the week. She had been saying for weeks about me having a crush on my brother's friend and I of course denied it. One week she showed up and we had drank, um, a lot, let's just go with that. My brother was passed out on the steps, I was on the floor beside my bed, half in and half out of the closet. (So y'all know, when the room is spinning putting a foot on the floor may help but putting both feet on the floor and standing up doesn't work so well) and my brother's friend was in my bed. I was in misery and we didn't talk all morning as we worked, I made BLT's for lunch and we got the boys up. I acted like an idiot until they left and my grandma just stared at me the whole time. We were drinking ice tea, folding laundry and I was feeling better, my heart rate was going back to normal and the hangover was going away and she said the only thing that she said to me all day.

That was painful to watch. Boys will chase a girl until the girl catches him. You don't know anything, you have to let him know what he wants to do. Wait for him and you will never get anywhere.

That was it. We finished folding the laundry and she left.
For years I thought it was more of the same, 'God you are so gay and it is so embarrassing.' conversation. Many, many years after she passed away I realized she was actually trying to be helpful.

Missed opportunities and regrets, life is full of them.
I think she was right though, about men.

[Maria77]

Girl....   you have to turn it up a bit.  Teasingly tell him "you are soooo cute" when he does stuff.  Compliament him, snuggle closer if say watching a movie, wear lower cut tops when he is around.  Good luck👍❤️

[Northern Star Girl]

Girl....   you have to turn it up a bit.  Teasingly tell him "you are soooo cute" when he does stuff.  Compliament him, snuggle closer if say watching a movie, wear lower cut tops when he is around.  Good luck👍❤️

@Maria77 ... yes, you are very correct, also I would think, well, I know for a fact, that when sitting close to each other, at the movie theater or on your sofa couch, just rest your hand on his thigh ....  that should do the trick!!!!!
Danielle

[Allison S]

I agree with Bari Jo, great thread that makes me smile.

My grandma and I never really got over me being the way that I am. I had moved out when I was 15 and rented a house, my brother followed shortly after. My brother and his best friend were the hottest guys in Hillbillyville WV. My grandma would come and help me clean every Saturday and help me cook meals for my brother and I for the week. She had been saying for weeks about me having a crush on my brother's friend and I of course denied it. One week she showed up and we had drank, um, a lot, let's just go with that. My brother was passed out on the steps, I was on the floor beside my bed, half in and half out of the closet. (So y'all know, when the room is spinning putting a foot on the floor may help but putting both feet on the floor and standing up doesn't work so well) and my brother's friend was in my bed. I was in misery and we didn't talk all morning as we worked, I made BLT's for lunch and we got the boys up. I acted like an idiot until they left and my grandma just stared at me the whole time. We were drinking ice tea, folding laundry and I was feeling better, my heart rate was going back to normal and the hangover was going away and she said the only thing that she said to me all day.

That was painful to watch. Boys will chase a girl until the girl catches him. You don't know anything, you have to let him know what he wants to do. Wait for him and you will never get anywhere.

That was it. We finished folding the laundry and she left.
For years I thought it was more of the same, 'God you are so gay and it is so embarrassing.' conversation. Many, many years after she passed away I realized she was actually trying to be helpful.

Missed opportunities and regrets, life is full of them.
I think she was right though, about men.

Wow your grandma is so right. I had many missed oppurtunities. I wouldn't say they were "chasing" me though. I don't know as a gay guy though.

Now as I'm getting more and more feminine, I'm thinking "let the chase begin" lol but I have to be realistic too. Like VMs case a guy most likely won't be making the first move. I'd be shocked at this point if it does happen (for a relationship, I mean..)


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[V M]

Well, I had him over to listen to some music and look at photos on my iphone (Good reason to sit real close)  Things seemed to be going well and I gazed into his eyes but was afraid - Kinda hoped that he might make the first move

Then I was thinking about making dinner but then he seem to get nervous for some reason and he went home

Oh well, maybe next time if there is one 

[Freelysweet]

Well let me say men chase women pretend to run. As they bait then reel him in. So women chase too just in a much less forward way. So what happens when hes shy or effeminate himself. You must adapt. He may have drempt of this moment his whole life of finding the perfect woman. That doesent mean he can bring himself to act upon his needs and attractions when trying to cope with all his emotions, stereotypes and blah blah blah.  Set the stage again. Have a few drinks and some times you just need to be more assertive and gage the response.  He may need to become the hunted to run and then relax into the evening. And if all fails, ask him. That may save alot of energy.

One of my friends for many years I always thought was gay but he denied it. We were co workers btw and in a kinda redneck type community. Well one day after my seporation ,later divirce. He stopped by to check on me because i had had surgery. It was ovious i was in pain with my back and i asked him to please rub my back. He agreed but was very very nervous and it was ovious. Well before it was over i had slept with the first and still only male that ive ever been with. I remember afterwards he said this. I never knew you were in the community. I never would have suspected you for anything other then straight. I was so nervous of how you would judge me. Ive wanted to tell you and be with you for years. And today im wondering how this happened today after so long of wanting this. I said, you never asked.  Although he is self identified as gay top and we both moved to much larger cities since, it never would have happened if i did not pretend to run then stop very quickly lol
I realize i personally am not attracted to males but i still see him from time to time and thats been 6 years ago

. Set a new stage for him. If he starts to leave, then ask him out right if hes interested. Ay least then youll know

[V M]

Strangely enough,  we're still friends and he still comes around to see me and has me over, gives me rides to the store, makes suggestive remarks, but then he also says rather rude things that make me feel bad and even kinda pisses me off sometimes 

I don't know what to think