I think we often forget that whether or not most of us, few of us, or all of us blend well with our target gender has much more to do with who our ancestors were/are than with any innate qualities of "realness' that we may or may not own ourselves.
Size, tendency toward weight or not, shoulder width, facial bone-structure, fat distribution, breasts are all pretty much genetic. The tendency on BBs often seems to be that "x is more valid than y, because x is younger/older, more or less experienced, better looking, less good looking, etc." All of which is basically meaningless anyhow.
My comparison of myself with anyone else and whether or not I look better or worse than they do, am older, younger, smarter or taller makes me not one whit more valid than it does anyone else.
I understand the advantages of starting younger in any number of ways. I also understand better than some, I suspect, that there might be very good and terrible reasons why some do not begin at 13-25. Or do and then find that something they never expected ensues.
My validity is my own to find and I cannot find it by comparing myself to anyone else, in any way. I can imagine that some of the absolutely most useless and divisive threads are about that silly, subjective-to-the-nth-degree and most flame-producing subject in ->-bleeped-<--world; to wit, passing!!
I understand that many of us have or do live and die by whether or not we might, do or don't. And that is fine. But whether I pass or not doesn't seem all that great a matter. The biggest matter for me is can I make it through every day and not be overly concerned by such things? Can I lead a life now?
For that, no amount of comparison is of any value at all. I either can and do or cannot and do not. And since I know exactly one of you in real-life and she has never been to school, work or social life with me or I with her, we neither have any idea at all, about that part of the other's life. I suspect that she lives hers remarkably well. I feel like I do mine, except that my partner would say I am here too much. *smile*
Yes, there are definitely some socio-cultural factors that keep us disunited. But what sort of cultural factors scare us so badly on an inclusive BB that we need to heighten all the differences between me and you that I can muster?
May I be very real for just a moment? How sick must I get, in order for you to be healthy?
Just a series of answers to that would suffice me.
Thanks guys, gals and androgynes (however you wish to be designated)
Hugs all around,
Nichole