Katie Jade’s stuff

[Katie Jade]

This is a nice read. Glad your moving along so well. I find writing the good and the bad is so good for the mind. Have a wonderful day and enjoy life

That's very nice of you to say. This is a journey with winter storms as well as sunny summer days. Both should be appreciated as that is what life is about, overcoming adversity and becoming that better person.
Best of luck in your journey - Make sure yo have as much fun and happiness as possible

Hugz

Katie

[Katie Jade]

Another post in "Positive Mindset... put away negativity", added here for completeness;

I guess I'm realistic, I know I live in a cloudy  world and when it shines, it's not so bad. [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Very true but should read the other way round - its a shiny world and there are clouds sometimes but we know it will be shiny again soon. We just help them get out of the way.

To illustrate this point, I have been trying to get agreement with my brothers about telling my parents that I'm their daughter etc etc. We had the meeting tonight as in a previous post from me, and we sorted out power of attorney blah blah blah to look after my parents and what their new 'Will' entailed. All nice and caring stuff and we all agreed on sharing all the responsibility with veto over financial actions.
Then at the end they cleared the table of coffee cups plates etc, which surprised me as they aren't domestically minded... and told me that as Mum and Dad were concerned about me and my recent erratic behaviour (I can admit I have been gently stirring things slowly to get progress on telling M&D), they had decided to act without me there (As they didn't know how I would react) and gently went through everything I had told them about my 50 years of denial, self abuse, alcohol, stealing, suicide attempts GD etc and gave them more info off the web as well. Surprisingly to me my Mum said she wasn't surprised, Dad took it in but wasn't particularly happy (he's too old school) but it seems one parent is on my side at least. Dad wouldn't take  calls from me to wish him happy Fathers day last weekend, now I know why.
I cried in the pub for about 30 minutes, although a bit upset they didn't tell me, I could understand why. OMG, the millstone around my neck suddenly got so very much lighter. They have also told my nephews and nieces, all of which twigged very quickly and were OK with it all especially the girls.
So, I should have trusted those that love me more and not be so wary of asking for help, in this case it was given without my consent but Im OK with that fully, in these circumstances. Mum wants to come down and see me very soon and they (one brother or another) will bring her in a few weeks.

So, for this thread, it seems that for me I need to be more accepting and trusting and not to expect the worst outcome always. If it happens it happens and you deal with it, but go for it with a smile (I did a lot of that between the sobs) and people will warm to you.

My brothers didn't know what to expect (hence clearing table) but it seems a possibility was for me to be angry at them, I told them I'm not like that any more. Mind you I did sit there and watch them both eat enormous charred Gammon steaks 2 eggs and chips (still a favourite of mine..), which was annoying as I had already had my lean chicken breast salad at home, and I was crying and salivating at the same time - not a pretty sight - but I did refuse several offers of chips (French Fries) as I really am going to loose weight this time.

So posting this on my thread as well, but I am realising that those negative thoughts about how people will react are just thoughts, and should be let go, people can and usually do respond in wonderful ways to help us.

Enough from me anyway (excuse spelling as I'm still blowing nose...)
Hugz
Katie  "

Enjoy as my life is becoming more possible daily
Hugz
Katie

[Northern Star Girl]

@Katie Again 
Dear Katie:   A really good thing that you are doing is writing about your thoughts, your issues, your troubles... and your good times too. 

Making the effort and using our thought process to write it down is in itself a form of very good personal therapy.  It allows us to ponder these issues and life circumstances and to figure out how to overcome the difficulties.   A Pessimist may just give up and wallow in their sorrow, but an Optimistic person, a glass half full person, will look at problems as a challenge to succeed and overcome in an otherwise apparent despairing situation.

I will hopefully not bore you with my favorite Winston Churchill quote that is always at the top of my mind... I am certain that you have seen where I have posted it many times.
    "A Pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity,
      An Optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty."

Obviously there may be times in our lives that it is much easier to say the quote than to apply it to our life but in reality it is our "glass half full mindset" that will help see us through our difficulties in life. 

Not only do I write out and share my life endeavors on my Forum thread here but also I keep a personal pen and paper journal complete with doodling for my more private thoughts and dilemmas.   I have kept a personal journal since my school days and every once in a while, on a rainy day, it is quite an eye opener to read what I had written, sometimes years ago, and then realize that I can indeed overcome what seemed at the time to be a hopeless situation. 

If you are not keeping a personal journal other that your thread, I would encourage you to start one... particularly so since you are in your transition journey.

Keep posting and keep updating your thread...  your followers want to know !!!
Hugs,
Daniellel

[Katie Jade]

Danielle
Thanks for your comments.  I dont keep a journal at all ever as I used to have too many ups and downs and didn't want to remember the downs. I'm doing a 'journal' on here as I think it may benefit others not just me, as my personality and mood swings become more crystallised and less stormy and I become more of the person I want to/should always have been. I will never be a full physical woman but that's OK, at my age many have has hysterectomies and such like, worse they have had much more exposure to breast cancer. I am like 50 years short of socialisation but I'm always a good listener (make friends  quick that way on occasion).
On the quotes;
"Life is for the living, and death lasts forever, enjoy this existence before the next" some hippy saying I read once in the 70's...

Hard but true.

BTW Love your superb smile btw and your suitor #3 (quiet) pic, love the dress and he was certainly taking it seriously...


Take care and love more (everyone can)
Hugz
Katie

[pamelatransuk]

Katie

It is wonderful to read that you have come out to your parents albeit unknown to you at the precise time, and that your Mum accepts you.

I am sorry you are having problems with your dad but give him time and he may come round in due course. Parents are often the most difficult to understand how we feel as some feel they are losing a son (in their eyes) rather than gaining a daughter.

I am glad you are feeling upbeat and that your transition is progressing well.

I wish you continued happiness.

Hugs

Pamela

[Katie Jade]

OK, Side issue is that unknown to me my eldest Brothers father in law succumbed to bone cancer weekend before last , and so his family are really shook up. I have known his Father in law (and in fact my brothers wife) all my life as he was a good friend of my fathers and we holidayed a lot together in the late 60s and 70s. Lovely kind man. I am even more surprised for my eldest brother to make time to see me last night. So he has a lot on his plate at this time and still has time for me. Makes me feel so stupid at my previous arrogance. Anyway that's gone now anyway and the fog of mistrust has lifted for me.
I left a text message for Mum to call me and talk when she feels the time is right, as I still don't know everything my brothers said to my parents. However my parents want to meet up soon, at a half way house , and with my brother s and ex-wife there as well, possibly next week or the week after. Maybe I will get one of those gammon steaks after all... but back to the real meaning of this post. I think my mum is doing as all good women do and that is talk sense into their men, so maybe Dad wants to just see me and talk a little, and maybe Mum a lot more.
Personally I cant wait to see them, whatever their questions, doubts and reservations. and I will meet them with a big happy smile on my face for certain.

Life goes on, I'm trying to keep pace with it

Take care and see you soon

Katie

(Hugz)

[Katie Jade]

I am glad you are feeling upbeat and that your transition is progressing well.
I wish you continued happiness.

Hugs

Pamela

Pamela thanks for your kind words. They help a lot. Its all going a bit quick for me at the moment. Just work and the world to come out to now I think...

My posts seem to be 'warts and all' but that's how it is sometimes. It should help anyone reading that is in this situation to see that there are ways through, (I hope its a good outcome for me but in my heart I know it will be).

Thanks again for the Hugs

You can have Hugz back from me.

Take care Hugz all as well
Katie

[Katie Jade]

Hi again.
OK, latest update, no phone call from Mum, but date set for us to meet up - same place a last time with my Brothers.
So will be meeting them (in drab as my old self / new mind) on the evening of the 4th of July. US Independence day, no less. Seems like a bit of a coincidence I suppose as I will forever change my parents view of me face to face on that day. I will gain my independence in many ways I feel, but probably wont go on to be the most powerful state in the world, so similarities (if there are any) end there.
Incidentally Best wished for all you guys and girls in USA land on the 4th, have fun
Should be going out as me with a friend next Friday to Manchester for a walk round during the day (first proper event of that kind for me) as a birthday treat. If I can remember to get some photos I will paste and good ones anyway. Weather forecast is hot and breezy, not good wig weather I think. Ill have to get a heads scarf or something to keep it under control. I really need a light jacket of some kind as well. better get shopping then.
Ta-taa for now.
Hugz
Katie

[davina61]

Good luck on trip out, enjoy. Hope it goes well with your mum XXXXXX

[Katie Jade]

Good luck on trip out, enjoy. Hope it goes well with your mum XXXXXX

Thank you for your wishes Davina, every bit helps

Hugz
Katie

[Donna]

Hope all goes well with your mum. Mine was super and I didn't tell anyone on my side until after I told mom. I didn't want anyone spilling the beans by accident. My wife with my permission informed her side and it's been 98% great.

[Katie Jade]

Hope all goes well with your mum. Mine was super and I didn't tell anyone on my side until after I told mom. I didn't want anyone spilling the beans by accident. My wife with my permission informed her side and it's been 98% great.

Dear Donna
Sounds like you have the ideal Mom there, look after her more than ever. Good to see you have had a really positive response, I bet that made you really glow inside. Go girl Go

As an aside, and I'm not certain if I can post this here so any Mod please remove if not suitable, but I was gently massaging my 'chest' as we all should do I think,  (Lymph node clearing etc etc) and quite quickly my body generally felt very very different and very very nice. It was somewhat intoxicating, and I think maybe I was starting to get some sort of female arousal. No male response at all, but a very deep, but mild sort of body resonance. I could do with more of that I think. Never had anything so sensual as male at all, as a male it was (when it worked) just centred between the legs. This was quite a revelation to me I think. Am I wrong or is this sort of stuff to be expected? Any way of building on this  or just keep going..?

Hugz
Katie

[davina61]

Try stroking inner thighs as well, works for me

[Donna]

Once your mind and body switch and lean toward female morw it moves from the physical male urge and drive to the female emotional attraction at least the way it's been described to me. Men are about getting it done and women are about the journey to getting it done. I could never understand that before when my wife tried to explain it but it sure makes sense now.

[Katie Jade]

Once your mind and body switch and lean toward female morw it moves from the physical male urge and drive to the female emotional attraction at least the way it's been described to me. Men are about getting it done and women are about the journey to getting it done. I could never understand that before when my wife tried to explain it but it sure makes sense now.

I think im getting the message now ... I have never felt so together but given my history that doesn't surprise me.

Anyway My post today from Danielle's thread (sorry but I like to keep stuff in my thread..) -About Cotswolds and Tiddlywink village..:

"Eight cottages apparently (didn't see a pub mentioned).
Still very cute ace name, usually based around drinking in pubs I think which is very English I Myself was born in a town with over 350 pubs (bars) about 150 years ago (lots of textile mills and thirsty people then apparently). The street where I bought my second house on, had 4 pubs or ex-pubs on it, 500m long....  At one time in the mid 1800s the town was the worlds largest producer of silk cloth and buttons and the original site for 'Hovis Bread'. 
Unless your English you may not understand that bit.
Posting on my nub page as well "


Enough history and such for tonight.

Hugz for everybody
Katie

[Northern Star Girl]

I think im getting the message now ... I have never felt so together but given my history that doesn't surprise me.

Anyway My post today from Danielle's thread (sorry but I like to keep stuff in my thread..) -About Cotswolds and Tiddlywink village..:

"Eight cottages apparently (didn't see a pub mentioned).
Still very cute ace name, usually based around drinking in pubs I think which is very English I Myself was born in a town with over 350 pubs (bars) about 150 years ago (lots of textile mills and thirsty people then apparently). The street where I bought my second house on, had 4 pubs or ex-pubs on it, 500m long....  At one time in the mid 1800s the town was the worlds largest producer of silk cloth and buttons and the original site for 'Hovis Bread'. 
Unless your English you may not understand that bit.
Posting on my nub page as well "


Enough history and such for tonight.

Hugz for everybody
Katie

@Katie Again
Dear Katie:....  it was initially difficult to comprehend for this Alaskan Girl but with the help of the internet and google I was able to make sense of it all....   thanks for your detailed reply and inside information from an "English Woman"
Hugs,
Danielle

[Northern Star Girl]

Dear Donna
Sounds like you have the ideal Mom there, look after her more than ever. Good to see you have had a really positive response, I bet that made you really glow inside. Go girl Go

As an aside, and I'm not certain if I can post this here so any Mod please remove if not suitable, but I was gently massaging my 'chest' as we all should do I think,  (Lymph node clearing etc etc) and quite quickly my body generally felt very very different and very very nice. It was somewhat intoxicating, and I think maybe I was starting to get some sort of female arousal. No male response at all, but a very deep, but mild sort of body resonance. I could do with more of that I think. Never had anything so sensual as male at all, as a male it was (when it worked) just centred between the legs. This was quite a revelation to me I think. Am I wrong or is this sort of stuff to be expected? Any way of building on this  or just keep going..?

Hugz
Katie

@Katie Again
Dear Katie:  At least in my experience what you described is completely normal....  once my breasts started getting sensitive early on from HRT the slightest thing could make my nipples very erect (could just about poke holes in my shirt) and that feeling you described came upon me.  Sometimes at night with the bed sheets rubbing on them I had all kinds of "warm" feelings and I couldn't keep  my hands off of my growing boobs.... and like you said, no reaction whatever from down below.
Of course others may have different experiences in what you described but I agree with how you described things.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Katie Jade]

@Katie Again
Dear Katie:....  it was initially difficult to comprehend for this Alaskan Girl but with the help of the internet and google I was able to make sense of it all....   thanks for your detailed reply and inside information from an "English Woman"
[/b]

Dear Danielle
. Believe me, I often confuse myself, I do mean well, but tend to ramble on sometimes. The original post was even worse hence the 'English' comment, I should really have taken it out as it referred to other items that I removed.
I blame the hormones for this lack of clarity, as I never used to be this bad.

Hugz
Katie

[Kendra]

Katie I am just now reading your entire thread.  Sorry I didn't get to this all sooner and my immediate thought is you are already much more self aware - understanding where you have been and where you're going.  The most important change in transition is understanding yourself and letting your mind override obsolete social constraints.  You are going to great places and have accomplished much more than you may realise. 

[davina61]

Made sense to me but then I am from Castlemorton. Saying that I can understand Jack and Brian , 2 old local brothers and you might think the didn't speak English.