Katie Jade’s stuff

[Katie Jade]

Part 3 - more pics of Manchester visit last weekend. Visit this weekend still not confirmed but will go solo if needs.

Will post tomorrow as need to go and sleep...

Gn all sweet dreams
Katie

[pamelatransuk]

I am so glad you have had the  private talk and "explanation" with your dad and mum and that it went so well and that you hugged afterwards.

You are over a major hurdle and you will feel more at ease and able to pursue your quest to be the true you.

Longer hugs to you this time!

Pamela

[Northern Star Girl]

OK,
Thanks ladies for your responses and comments, always appreciated

First bit (of 3) - meeting with parents. I went in Boy mode(ish) Pink tee shirt, Salmon pink short sleve shirt, jeans, new necklace all my normal rings (2 on each hand) but stopped short of wig/ bangles... Brothers and my separated wife (best friend) were there at the pub/restaurant so we all had a meal first - I had Gammon and eggs + side salad and diet tonic water +  ice/lemon. They all had the full works gammon eggs or lamb cutlets with loads of chips and bread n butter etc etc. (I pinched a couple of chips), needless to say as the Gammon was so gorgeous I wont be needing breakfast tomorrow.

@Katie Again
  Dear Katie:  So very glad that the breakfast meeting started out well... that was a big help as you talked in more detail with family members.   You had me wondering about what in the heck is Gammon.  So, of course google helped me... here is the definition for me and my American friends.
       noun: gammon
           -ham that has been cured or smoked like bacon.
              -the bottom piece of a side of bacon, including a hind leg.

So small talk and everyone jibing each other etc. after the meal I went to the toilet and when I came back just my parents were there at the table, beckoned me to sit down and said they wanted to talk about my situation. Well OK, this was the wrong place for them to shout my business out (they both have hearing aids  and shout when taking as people with hearing difficulties do). I suggested we go to my car and we could benefit from the Air con and talk privately. So did just that. Dad wouldn't look at me at all and iterated no matter what went on they would always have 3 sons and would treat us equally. Then he changed that to 'children'. That was good. We talked for a bit and I tried to make them understand gently that this wasn't a choice for me but a necessity. Explained all the level and volume of issues it has caused me over the years, in a gentle but short way.

Oh my, that went fairly well for you despite the loud voices that the other customers in the restaurant were no doubt listening to....  I am sure that they heard more than they expected to hear.

Mum said she had no inkling (more likely she forgot or didn't want to raise questions about me borrowing /ruining clothes, stealing and generally doing anything to get something feminine in my life even pre puberty). I explained that I have always felt different and not right and that where I am now I am much happier and more of a whole person. Happy. More content. Positive. Happy again.
Obviously they did question a few things, like sexuality, why?, and the like and I again explained the difference between sex and gender - one body the other between the ears etc.. that opinions are divided as to what causes this etc..

It is good that you got all of that off of your chest, important background for your parents to hear from you.

My Dad who apparently had to be persuaded to go, said that he was really glad to have come and it had broken the ice for him, and as long as progress was in keeping with his ability to accept (i.e. slow) then that would be good. Mum said it was difficult but she had experience of someone transitioning at a place of work and she could understand better but it would still take time to accept.

Well, that is good news that your dad said he was glad to have come to meet with you.  Your mom handled the conversation fairly well...  indeed, this is a tough thing for many parents to hear from one of their children, no matter what age everyone is.

I finished off by saying I had tried everything to not have to go down this path but had finally accepted that I had to do this to be truly myself, and that I needed for them to be part of that, so they could know I was truly happy and myself. After that it was a really really REALLY big hug with my Dad and then my mum as far as I could in the car.
So, ice broken, journey started on that part of my Life.
Very happy with the outcome and will certainly comply with their requests not to overload them with stuff. We still all love each other and possibly more so than ever as I can truly be myself with them.
As I type the tears are making my vision bad, so will take a break for a few mins.

Thanks all for reading.

Love n Hugz

Katie

    Yes indeed,  Katie, the outcome of your meeting with the folks, and your anticipation and trepidation about how your would approach them seemingly turned out MUCH BETTER than you could have hoped for.   I am so happy for you that the big heavy weight is now off of your shoulders.  You can now have the freedom to continue with your transition without keeping secrets from your own family.... certainly  a big relief for you.
Thank you so much for feeling comfortable enough to share your wonderful and encouraging posting...  very affirming for you and a big help in building your self-confidence as your journey continues.
Please, as you have been doing, continue posting your updates... your followers and readers want to know so they can rejoice with you in good times and support you in bad times.
Hugs and Hugs... and more Hugs,
Danielle

[Katie Jade]

Pamela and Danielle
Thank you so much for your warm responses and especially all those hugs - I like them a lot nowadays. But time presses on us all so, Pictures in roughly chronological order;
Piccadilly Rail Station - main rail hub in the city (No, no one looks , no one cares really);




Not many pictures on walking through the city as my friend was rushing... but this is Canal Street where the worlds largest free TS/TV event is held this weekend - Sparkle, (apparently) my friends face obscured for her privacy as she isn't on this site;



Pub lunch at the Molly House;



And back to the station, was somewhat tired by this time as was 30c 'ish and we aren't used to that much in the UK;


So,loved it. and doing it all solo on Saturday hopefully as my friend is supporting a mutual friend who has family issues re transitioning and the 3 of us together do tend to be noisy etc.

So, conclusion is, I still have no idea how to carry a handbag or pose successfully, and I still need that next 40 Lb off..

Hope you enjoyed them,
Luv N Hugz

Katie

[davina61]

I love days out like that, not much chance at the moment. Happy days

[Katie Jade]

Well anyone at Sparkle in Manchester tomorrow PM or email me for a free tea and cake (Im generous it seems)
Love n Hugz
Katie

[Katie Jade]

Hi
Well no one said they were going but I still had my cake and Vanilla tea.. yum.
Sparkle however was great, so good in fact that I took very few pictures. It is quite an event really with stage acts and rock choirs, stalls and bars and stuff and then also Canal Street which was heaving with all sorts of Cis Trans polar non polar, fetishists, sissies etc etc. Everyone just happy and everyone in such good moods. Anyway I will pop in a portrait of me on Canal Street and another when I got home a few minutes ago. The event is almost non-stop till Sunday night, but I was tired, hot and have stuff to do at home this weekend. I will definitely stay over somewhere next year. I will use the portrait as my Avatar for a bit I think;
1. Ready to go,


2. Canal street (was 29C but felt hotter..)


3. Back home having listened to the end of the England World cup football (soccer) match;


I think Ill have to remember to take more pics  and less portraits as well so I can remember it all in years to come.

This was my first time out solo in daytime. It was a very safe venue though.

Luv n HugZ

Katie

[davina61]

Looks like fun my dear, not much going on here (boring) but its 29C in my flat and my syrup is making me sweat!!!

[Northern Star Girl]

@Katie Again
Dear Katie....  I love all the new pictures that you are posting on your thread.   The portraits and the selfies are wonderful to see. 
In the pictures in your pretty dress at the railway station and having lunch you look absolutely wonderful.

And at Sparkle... running solo... a wonderfully affirming adventure for you... looking good again!

Thanks for your updates, it is always a nice treat for your followers and readers.
Hugs and well wishes,
Daneille

[Katie Jade]

Hi

Looks like fun my dear, not much going on here (boring) but its 29C in my flat and my syrup is making me sweat!!!

Dear Davina, yes mine was literally melting today, too hot, not a lot of air movement. I had to keep moving so at least my legs were 'aired' as it were. Skirts are sooooooo much better in hot weather, although when putting my outfit together last night with my Ex for help, she steered me away from my shorter skirts (Tartan pleated types, Black/white, Red/Black etc) as she says I can sit down properly in them if you know what I mean. I may relegate them for doing the Gardening in maybe!!

And dearest Danielle, thanks for the compliments, Im not sure they are that justified but very welcome anyway.
Yes, today was very much affirming for me. I getting where I need to be even if some residual (and diminishing) part of me still resists...
Resistance is futile though, so the remnants of my male alter ego can go squat etc. I am being assimilated into where I should have been anyway

And I got 3 new t shirts today as I realise most of my nice clothes are for slightly more cool climates (Not Alaska though), I have several prettier dresses, well I think so anyway.

So what's next between now and the September meet up with the UK girls, who knows, maybe another sojourn to darkest Nottingham. I'm off for 3 one week holidays from work, in July, August and September (directly after IPL as I don't trust my face not to turn into a Martian landscape again..) so lets see what I can conjure up. Seaside, Walking in Cumbria, creating a garden in my own walled wilderness at the back of my house (Maybe a use for those skirts.. but in all truth I do need to make a back garden which is more than dried up grass and a few pot plants).

Anyway Im sure I can carry on posting my mundane dribbling's to try and keep everyone amused..

Luv n Hugz

Katie



Postscript ; Actually I was going to get the motorcycle legal and back on the road. She is a very pretty bike that has been tweaked for more fun. Sounds gorgeous, let me see if I can find a picture...
BRB...

[davina61]

I found a flowing mid length skirt is more cooling , that M&S one from charity shop is rather nice. My youngest has got me into bikes, last one I had was in 71 a 60 BSA C15 250 single. Got me to work and collage and never broke down. More into building them now as never had a bike licence. Suppose to be restoring a 90cc Excelsior but after watching bike building shows on TV want to build a "mini" chopper using a 125 cc v twin.

[Katie Jade]

Hi
Cant find pics of my bike but here is one very similar;



Mine has scorpion pipes, Decal on the fairing and  slightly trick engine (Stage 1 tune, K&N, and rear ratio change etc..)
Made 86bhp with the Db killers still in, so should top 90bhp without them (not advised as very very loud). Shes my baby though and I still need to shift enough weight before going looking for Black and Pink Leathers... mmmm
(She is much slower than the Kawa 900 Ninja or the 1100 Suzi I had before but more fun...)


Davina go for it. Last few restos I did were the GSX1100EZ Suzi , GT380L (love that 2 stroke sound so much) with a semi resto on the GPZ900R A1 .. that shredded its tyres after I put on new carbs with the de-icing kit... I might have pictures somewhere...
Katie

[Katie Jade]

Hi
Enough of bikes, I am more important. Didnt go to the Sunday Sparkle day as it was just too hot yesterday and I couldn't bear another day  being as hot.

So , almost 6 months on HRT, may post a before and current pic but I cant see any difference at distance apart from the wig (and a truly soul deep smile). My own hair is lower than my ears now and bottom of jacket collar at work now. A few people commenting but Im ignoring them. Clean hair any length is acceptable to me.
Obviously other body changes you cant see or feel with a head portrait.

I have to be careful posting pics as Im not out at work yet, so maybe leave it a couple more months., undecided as yet.

Tonight I have had a very strong urge to put all my boy clothes out in the bin for collection tomorrow with the rubbish but sense prevailed as I wouldn't have much to go to work in, but it really was a strong feeling, not felt quite like that before. Anyone else have that? its sort of the opposite of the girl clothes cleansing feeling thing I occasionally did before starting this journey. Weird.
Anyway - need to check my builders quote for a new bathroom (and shower this time...), it will be simple and functional, the accessories will bring the prettiness factor to the room.
Well Sleep well everyone in the UK (don't complain about it not raining....), and everywhere else of course.

Luv n Hugz
Katie

[Katie Jade]

Oooh - forgot - had bloods taken Friday so looking forwards to T/E levels this week, but I think T is up and E is down, but you never know.
And eldest son, and gf are at Ex's for BBQ next Saturday, thats after my next full face session with IPL... should be fun and outcome unknown - see prevous threads -, but thats also why Im trying to keep out of the sun despite it being the best summer since 1976 in the UK (I remember that...).. 1978 was good as well..
As I'm on blood thinners (Warfarin) where the nurse took my blood samples looks like in an Habitual intra-V druggie. I can assure you I'm not. Ill post a pic later.

Well Gn again

Lov n Hugz

Katie

[davina61]

And I thought the builders were making new wardrobes to fit all the frocks in!!!! All my boy stuff went to the charity shop or skip last year as not worn any for 6 months and not missed them

[Katie Jade]

Oh well, 6 months HRT, and cant really see any major differences other than chest aching, smother skin and putting weight back on... I suppose that's with being my age (56) we are slower to respond if at all. Bit of a downer at the moment but Ill get out of it I suppose. I don't think ill review oldish photos tonight as I'm sure I'll come to the same conclusion. Seems like I'm up and down at the moment. Weekend was fab, now I'm coming down from such a good weekend, maybe that's it. Also Doctors admin could only say my bloods were all 'OK' whatever that is, including the hormone levels... am I back to male T and E levels - seriously not happy with them  at the moment.
Ill sleep on it and look forward to England playing footie tomorrow - Bra/chest (don't like saying Boobs as its demeaning as its a bloke word) under football shirt - not done that before... If we loose I having a bath with a bath bomb in it - yay...
Anyway, keep going girls,
Hugz
Katie

[Katie Jade]

Random meanderings and general mumblings tonight folks;

Well its a bath bomb after England loosing, and I'm having that tonight.

Had IPL today, at the reduced level and so far OK, it still stung a lot though. Ill let you know tomorrow if its burnt me again. Got told off by the Lady doing the treatment, as my facial regime is apparently really bad and so she has instructed me what to do (well no ones ever told me, so Im just guessing/YouTube watching) and she has helped match it with my skin type etc. She is such a dear for helping.

So, steak and salad tonight, poached egg for breakfast, then late afternoon BBQ at Ex's with sons and eldest sons girlfriend. That the plans for tomorrow (mainly around eating of course).

Tidying up tonight, remake bed as I caught leg on corner of my bed last night and it bled during the night, its a bit of a mess (leg), but I do seem to be more prone to skin injuries nowadays. Vitamin deficiency or just effect of the various treatments Im on? I dont know.

Off work next week so maybe a chance to get out and about a bit, apart from jobs, gardening (dead lawn at the moment) and seeing parents again - I may accidentally leave a little bit of eye liner on.... see if they notice...

Went to the local support group last night which was nice for a bit of a chat, and find more out about my friends there. Some of the hobbies are really nice, and that brings me round to thinking of a hobby for myself. Especially one more in keeping with the real me. I shall have a think, suggestions from anyone maybe? I will discount cooking as I'm trying to loose weight (maybe it will help with that though, if my cooking is as bad as it usually is..). Eventually I will want to join a gym, but happy with walking and morning exercises at the moment. I have a mountain bike that's not been used for the last 5 or 6 years, that's a possibility, maybe downhill (with someone to take it back uphill..). A colleague at work is a skydiver, which is a bit extreme (he stalled his parachute on his last jump a couple of feet above the ground and ended up planting his face in hard Spanish soil..).
Anyway suggestions accepted.
Anyway Back to housework.

Talk care all

Lvun n Hugz

Katie

[davina61]

Hope the leg heals (or should that be heels?) I have next week off as well, good job as centre of town is closed to through traffic from Wednesday to Sunday for Blues Festival due to lots of (idiots) folks wandering around the main street . Alcohol not helping, in fact nearly ran some over last year.

[Katie Jade]

Sounds a fun time,
I think im a little too far from you to come down for tea - Ill PM you
Katie

[Katie Jade]

Not been to doctors for results, they are photocopying them and I can collect a copy . which I will do after this post.
Seeing Parents again on Thursday at their house, Dad seems very upbeat about it, but Im cautious. My one and only girl cousin, who has always been close to me - I helped her out and watched out for her for a long time when we were younger -, well she has been inquiring about me to my Ex-wife, and it seems that some rumours are starting in my home town - I live 35 miles away from there which is why I don't see parents and family more than I do. She is asking for clarification of a few items as yet undisclosed. I have questioned my brothers before I talk to her and they have resolutely said that my Parents don't want anyone else to know (no idea if that is either yet, or ever). Also my mother heavily hinted to my Ex-wife that they weren't going to a wedding next summer (a cousin 'once removed' that we have always got on with and used to see quite often) and didn't think we would be going either... Hmm. I know I often put 2 and 2 together and make 5, but I am starting to smell a rat here a little. Lets see.

Finally on this post I am mortified to find out this week that my dear sons are both on or seeking medical help for Depression. I know this is down to the separation and the massive upheaval in family life on top of their own issues. I am very concerned about my eldest as he will be going back to his university city to continue with a summer job (apparently he's handling up to £100,000 a day which is a massive responsibility for him as well). He seems to think as well (his girlfriend tells me) that he can take the meds when he feels the need.. not good. Youngest is seeing the Doc soon for an assessment. Next year is his final school year before university and I pray god that this isn't going to mess up his future.
Its clear that these issues have to the greater extent been hidden from me, which concerns and upsets me greatly. I need to put my thoughts together and see what I can do to carefully and gently support them more than I am presently. Eldest son is staying at my house at the moment, so Im gently doing what I can to make him realise that he hasn't lost anything but gained more than before.
So, things not looking too good at the moment.
Im off to Docs now to see if they did my blood tests properly. Ill let you know.
Im doing Fajitas for the boys tea tonight, but I also need to get the yellow/golden fence paint off that seeks to have adhered to various parts of my body. Yes I have been repairing and replacing fencing panels today.

Sorry about the ramblings again, just another hiccup in my journey,

Luv n Hugz

Katie