Positive Mindset... put away negativity

[steph2.0]

Success breeds success....

...In my past employment I was responsible for hiring various employees....  during the interview process a candidate's demeanor will become obvious....  and if everything else is equal, it is the candidate that exudes the most positive and can do attitude that wins.

I hadn't thought of it that way, but looking back at my career, I see that it may have been that attitude that contributed to my success.

I went into the interview for what I consider to be my career-launching job with a "I may not be highly qualified, but I'm going to give this a shot" attitude. It was for a computer tech support position, and I had no degree and my only experience was as a hobbyist. The interviewers were vaguely friendly but stern looking, but I went in with a smile, and while I couldn't answer all their questions about technical stuff, I think I turned the tide when they asked the inevitable question, "Why should we hire you for this job?"

I paused, turned on my brightest smile, and said, "I love working with these things, and when you love what you do, you do a better job."

I found my specialty and became known in the area as the person to call, both by customers and by the manufacturer of the product. I worked there for 10 years, and when my specialty was being threatened with becoming obsolete, one of my customers hired me and put me in charge of his IT department. In seven years I took them from a minicomputer and dumb terminals to a modern networked computer system with all the bells and whistles, and retired at the top of my game. I hear that I'm still remembered with respect 16 years later. I owe it all to that first interview and the positive attitude I went into it with.

Incidentally, I went back to visit - as my new self - in April. I had lunch with the same women who had held a going-away luncheon for "him" back in 2002. They were all awesome. I had always gotten along better with the women than the men there, and maybe they could sense why. I stopped by the offices and said hello to my old boss (the president of the company) and he was pretty cool, too, in his weird way. (Too much LDS in the 60's, methinks.) 🤭


Stephanie

[GingerVicki]

When I was interviewing and hiring people I always went for the person who was friendly and seemed that they would be easily coachable. Of course they had to have some skills, but I figured for what I was doing I could almost teach anyone. And did. In less than 3 years I went from a phone rep to Assistant Operations Manager. I went from managing myself to about 350 people on twenty different teams.

I was way too young for my position but I did it successfully. I don't believe that I had any right to be on the phone with IT helping to route calls to different centers based on staffing due to nationwide outages. Not at 22.

[Northern Star Girl]

Dear Readers and Followers:

As I have always done, I review and read  a lot of threads and comments of the member's here on the Forums and I have noticed that quite a few of them involve WORRY and Concern about what is happening in their HRT transition, their acceptance, and their future.

I feel the need to post some hopefully helpful quotes and thoughts for any of us that have worries or concerns...  that means ALL OF US.
Many of these quotes and quips are quite familiar to us but I think it will be helpful to review them on this thread.

Hugs and well wishes to you all of you.
Danielle

      Today is a choice. 
      Today, choose grace over impatience,
      beauty over negativity,
      and presence over panic

Worrying is a waste of time.
It doesn't change anything,
it just messes with your mind
and steals your happiness.

      Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
     the courage to change the things I can,
     and the wisdom to know the difference.

Truthfully, there's so much about life that we can't control,
it makes very little sense to waste all our energy on these things
and then blatantly neglect everything we CAN control.

       We can choose to adjust our attitudes
      and let go of all our worries about everything we can't control,
      which in turn frees us up to take the next best step forward in our lives.

A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.

       99% of the things we worry about don't even happen.

"Our fatigue is often caused not by work
but by worry, frustration, and resentment." Dale Carnegie

     The less we worry, the less complicated life becomes.

We can't control everything that happens to us,
but we CAN control the way we respond. 
Our response is your greatest power. 
Most of our stress comes directly from the way we think and respond,
not the way life is.  Adjust our attitude, and much of that extra stress is gone.

[KathyLauren]

I feel the need to post some hopefully helpful quotes and thoughts for any of us that have worries or concerns...  that means ALL OF US.
Many of these quotes and quips are quite familiar to us but I think it will be helpful to review them on this thread.

Here is one that has gotten me through a lot of tough places.  It was written by a Buddhist monk/scholar named Shantideva, in the 8th century.

Why worry about something if you can change it?
And what is the point of worrying about something if you cannot change it?

[steph2.0]

Danielle, long before you graced us with your shining countenance, I posted a list of quotes. I had used them as a precursor to coming out on Facebook on Friday the 13th, 2017. If you're curious, the entire story is here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=228563.msg2037025#msg2037025. It's quite long, though, so I'll just post the quotes here. Enjoy:

The real you does not need fixing. Only the surface layer of you seems to need improvement. Your innate wholeness has never been damaged except in your thoughts. You have been taught that life is a problem, you are defective, and you must face and overcome an endless series of issues and obstacles before you can be enough. None of that is true. You are not a black hole that needs to be filled. You are a light that needs to be shined.
- Alan Cohen

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
- Steve Jobs

Don't Settle.
- Steve Jobs

The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou

I do not exist to impress the world. I exist to live my life in a way that will make me happy.
- Richard Bach

Don't be afraid to take a big step when one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- Buckminster Fuller

Listening is being able to be changed by the other person.
- Alan Alda

We do not make friends, we recognize them.
- G Henrichs

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

Wonder is remembering and acknowledging the uniqueness of our inner self. Of all the people in the world there is only one of each of us. That is a wonder in itself. And it follows then that not only is each of us wonderful, each of us is a wonder. Situations and events are temporary. Wonder is perpetual. And so are you.
- Gail Pursell Elliott

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.
- Janis Joplin

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
- John A. Shedd

Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.
- Harvey Fierstein

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness.
- Alejandro Jodorowsky

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
- Dr Seuss

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

Do not let anything from your past inhibit you in this Present Moment. Start over. Start Fresh. Each day. Each hour, if it serves you. Heck, each minute. Just get going. Just do it. Just say it. With love. All else will take care of itself.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr Seuss

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face, and show the world all the love in your heart... You're gonna find, yes you will, that you're beautiful as you feel.
- Carole King

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

Recognize that to be happy, you must live the life that you truly want to live. It's your life and you are the only one who can truly determine what is right for you.
- The Daily Guru

Don't be afraid to shed the weight of those who don't support you. As in aviation, you must add lightness to fly.
- Stephanie Rhapsody Bensinger

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.
- Tad Williams

You don't experience anxiety unless you're attached to a thought that isn't true for you. It's that simple.
- Byron Katie

You gain strength, courage, and confidence in every experience in which you stop and look fear in the face. You must do the thing you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? How did they work out? Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them? Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?
- Dale Carnegie

Sometimes a breakdown can be the beginning of a kind of breakthrough, a way of living in advance through a trauma that prepares you for a future of radical transformation.
- Cherrie Moraga

A happy life is one which is in accordance with its own nature.
- Marcus Annaeus Seneca

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
-Steve Jobs

To be nobody-but-yourself – in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you somebody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
-ee cummings

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
- Joseph Campbell

Stephanie

[Susan Baum]

Hi, Steph

More than the gems you cited above, it is all but impossible to reread your post from last October to avoid hearing the smile and joy and positive outlook you presented. thank you for reprinting the link - but can it really be that close to a year since we read your "wall of text?" 

Sayeth Polonius in Shakespeare's Hamlet To thine own self be true.

Susan

[steph2.0]

Hi, Steph

More than the gems you cited above, it is all but impossible to reread your post from last October to avoid hearing the smile and joy and positive outlook you presented. thank you for reprinting the link - but can it really be that close to a year since we read your "wall of text?" 

Sayeth Polonius in Shakespeare's Hamlet To thine own self be true.

Susan

Fifteen months since I started my journey. Ten months since I wrote my manifesto.

So many downs. The joy often abandoned me. But so many ups, too.

So many lessons learned.

So much courage, lost and found.

But here I am. World, this is me.

Stephanie

[Jessica]

Stephanie. Thank you for this list of quotes that affirm life's reason to be.
We all need special go to thoughts and this is a lovely compilation!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl



@Steph2.0

[Northern Star Girl]

Fifteen months since I started my journey. Ten months since I wrote my manifesto.

So many downs. The joy often abandoned me. But so many ups, too.

So many lessons learned.

So much courage, lost and found.

But here I am. World, this is me.

Stephanie

@Steph2.0
Dear Stephanie:
Your manifesto is really neat stuff... thanks for sharing it with all of us.
If you have any other encouraging words and positive approaches to life,
especially for you like-minded forums friends..... please post anytime ... and frequently if you can.

Thank you for your thoughts and your uplifting posts that you share here...
Hugs,
Danielle

[Michelle_P]

Fifteen months since I started my journey. Ten months since I wrote my manifesto.

So many downs. The joy often abandoned me. But so many ups, too.

So many lessons learned.

So much courage, lost and found.

But here I am. World, this is me.

Stephanie

Stephanie, that manifesto and the quotes selected within say much about you and the drive that you have behind such a simple phrase.

... here I am. World, this is me.

You are a remarkable person, for being your authentic self, standing forth, and claiming your existence.  Like Faith, perhaps it was unintended, but you have done something others find inspirational.

Congratulations, girl.  This is you!

[Northern Star Girl]

Stephanie, that manifesto and the quotes selected within say much about you and the drive that you have behind such a simple phrase.

... here I am. World, this is me.

You are a remarkable person, for being your authentic self, standing forth, and claiming your existence.  Like Faith, perhaps it was unintended, but you have done something others find inspirational.

Congratulations, girl.  This is you!

@Michelle_P    cc: @Steph2.0    cc: @Faith
Dear Michelle:
Exactly my thoughts as well, very nicely stated.

Please Michelle, don't ever short-change your accomplishments in your journey... what you have done, what you are doing and what you are becoming... all are a glowing example of great inspiration to all of us....   

I can hardly wait for your bandages to come off and you get all healed up and you can show us the results that you have always desired and that will be a benchmark for all of us.

Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle

[Northern Star Girl]

I know that some of my friends are having a difficult time... my thoughts are with them.
Here are some of my thoughts for my friends and followers today:

     I love Mondays: 
     A fresh start.
     The chance to set a new tone for the rest of the week.
     A great day to be alive.

Never waste your feelings on people that don't value them.

     Optimism is a happiness magnet,
     If you stay positive good things
     and good people will be drawn to you.

A negative mind will never give you a positive life.

     Push harder than yesterday if you want a better tomorrow.

The Struggle you're in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.

Hugs,
Danielle

[Autrement]

Many thanks Danielle for this very inspiring thread!

Hugs.

Pascale

[Donica]

A positive mind set as made my life mush better. I like to help educate the negative if I can. Thanks for the thread Danielle!

Hugs girl!
Donica.

[Northern Star Girl]

A positive mind set as made my life mush better. I like to help educate the negative if I can. Thanks for the thread Danielle!

Hugs girl!
Donica.

@Donica
Dear Donica:
I love how you stated your comment.... exactly 100% correct !!!

Yes indeed, a positive mindset does make one's life much better, happier, less stress, one will have more friends that want to be around.....   those that are positive and optimistic are like magnets that attract others,
and studies show that one will live a healthier life......   stress and negativity are killers.

Thanks for your comment and for following my thread.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Northern Star Girl]

Positivity affects your life in many good ways.
    How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic — and it may even affect your health. ... The positive thinking that usually comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress management.

Positive thinking is a mental attitude in which one plans for and perhaps expects good and favorable results.
    In other words, positive thinking is the process of creating thoughts that create and transform energy into reality. A positive mind waits for happiness, health and a happy ending in any situation.

Negative Thinking is contagious and infectious. 
    Sickness, exhaustion, stress, hunger, bad relationships, sleep deprivation among lots of other things can make one depressed, which leads to negative thoughts. In many cases, depression can be caused by negative thinking, itself. ... These things usually reinforce negative thinking or emotions.

Things one can do to think positive and kick negativity.
    Avoid Negative Self-Talk. Self-talk involves the things you mentally tell yourself. ...
    Try Humor. It can be tough to stay optimistic when there is little humor or lightheartedness in your life. ...
    Cultivate Optimism. ...
    Keeping Working On It.

Spreading Positivity in one's orbit of life:
    Smile. Smiling puts you and the people around you into a more positive mood. ...
    Give a genuine compliment. Compliments are awesome. ...
    Hugs. ...
    Encourage someone. ...
    Change the way you feel. ...
    Help someone out in practical way. ...
    Just listen. ...
    Put things into perspective.
    Perform a random act of kindness.
    Pay it forward.

Thank you reading and following my thread, please share your thoughts about all of this.
Your comments are always welcome.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

[Northern Star Girl]

Here are some thoughts about the related subjects of this thread's title...
                "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
    OPPORTUNITY and OPTIMISM

    An Opportunist is one who, finding themselves in hot water, decides they should take a bath anyway.

    Opportunity is something very difficult to recognize; it usually comes disguised as hard work.
    Some people define Opportunity as "a chance to get money without working for it."

    The Optimist sees the doughnut; the Pessimist sees the hole.

Comments are always welcome!!! 
Danielle

[Northern Star Girl]

Here are some thoughts about the closely related subjects of this thread's title...
                "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
             
    OPPORTUNITY  and  OPTIMISM

    An Opportunist is one who, finding themselves in hot water, decides they should take a bath anyway.

    Opportunity is something very difficult to recognize; it usually comes disguised as hard work.
    Some people define Opportunity as "a chance to get money without working for it."

    The Optimist sees the doughnut; the Pessimist sees the hole.


Comments are always welcome!!! 
Danielle

[Gabrielle66]

Danielle,

I just wanted to say thank you for being such a positive person and for inspiring me to be more positive in my own outlook. I have lived most of my life in a very pessimistic way. You seem to be able to exude a light that is palpable even over the internet. It just felt important for you to know that you have helped me to become a more positive person in a very short time. One day I hope to be able to honestly say that I'm a positive person like you. It wouldn't be true if I said it today but someday it will be. Please keep inspiring those of us who find it more difficult to see the light than you do. Love and faith.

Gabrielle

[Katie Jade]

Here are some thoughts about the related subjects of this thread's title...
                "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
    OPPORTUNITY and OPTIMISM

    An Opportunist is one who, finding themselves in hot water, decides they should take a bath anyway.

    Opportunity is something very difficult to recognize; it usually comes disguised as hard work.
    Some people define Opportunity as "a chance to get money without working for it."

    The Optimist sees the doughnut; the Pessimist sees the hole.

Comments are always welcome!!! 
Danielle

Mmmm Doughnuts, pity I need to eat more holes at the moment

Luv n Hugz

Katie