Counselling in the UK

[LucyEgo]

Tiny steps. But huge for me.

I've discussed my issues with my GP and suggested a first port would be checking my testosterone levels to see if anything crazy is going on. Rule out any medical issues issues. I think this is sensible.

She suggested then to also open a channel to our local mental health team and discuss counselling, but this seems more based in anxiety and depression rather than gender issues.

I presume referral to a gender identity clinic is when there are few or no doubts about gender dysphoria?

In the meantime, I am trying to find a private therapist. I saw one, seems OK, but I think I need to find another one that's a bit closer for me and more accessible in the evenings. :-(

[Megan.]

Given the wait times, I'd have your GP refer you a GIC now. You can always elect to come off if that wait list later.
The mental health team may have suggestions for good private therapists.
I've been working with mine for more than three years, but if you don't feel it's an effective relationship, don't be afraid to try another who may work better for you. Good luck. X

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[Charlotte F]

I definitely agree with Megan - I think the wait for Charring Cross is about 14 months at the moment and if you add on a few months whilst you journey between various NHS provided therapists, you could be in for a very long wait indeed

I found a therapist that works face to face, by phone or on Skype.  Generally I use the phone which has worked really well for me over the last year

I hope you find someone good that can help you along whichever path you travel

[Kylo]

NHS general counseling wait time was about 6-10 weeks a few years back for me... GIC wait time from referral to first session with therapist was 10 months 3 years ago. It's longer now, I understand.

I would mention that the therapist in the GIC I went to was not interested in being a counsellor. They were there to assess whether or not I was in need of GIC services, if I asked for specific advice I didn't really get any. If that's what you're after, you'll be better waiting for the GIC appointment but if you want general counseling make an appt with the GP. It's quicker.

[LucyEgo]

I've had a pretty eventful week. I've been imaging myself that I've got female parts, and it's crazy, it's like a joy and calmness that washes over me, even confidence. This to me is huge. Amazing. Mind blowing.

Then other things start creeping out of my memory, like playing with my mom's makeup, lipstick and all, wearing her tights, and always having a closer bond with females than males - both friends and family.

Interesting times for me. Im just trying to accept this other part of me, allowing her to explore, grow, and hopefully one day flourish.

How much of what happened in my youth is typical child behaviour, I don't know, but Im just so grateful to finally be exploring.

Lucy

[pamelatransuk]

Hello Lucy

I suspect from your thoughts and feelings that you are transgender and that you seek gender therapy (as opposed to general counselling) and that you wish to explore yourself and your feelings further.

If I am correct that you seek gender therapy, then by means ask your GP to list you under a  NHS GIC but I should warn you there is a long wait for a first appointment and you would likely not be seen till 2020.

Therefore like many of Susans UK members including me, you may wish to contact GenderGP who offer gender therapy afterwards if it applicable HRT. There are several GenderGP threads here on Susans. I am very happy with their all round service and I note you are considering the private route.

I wish you every success whichever route you choose.

Hugs

Pamela

PS: You may also wish to see the "Where in the UK are you?" thread here on Transgender Talk.

[maybesoph]

I agree totally with Pamela, genderGP have been amazing for me so far regarding guidance and advice.
I only contacted them around a month ago and within the next few weeks I'm starting hrt under their guidance.
I've seen the GP around 4 weeks ago for a referral to GIC, still haven't even received a confirmation for my referral yet, let alone going on the waiting list. So I'd say get referred asap, even if you're not sure on your gender you can explore your feelings via therapy whilst your waiting on the NHS cogs to slowly grind away.

Soph

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[LucyEgo]

I also realised that, although I was happy being a boy, as far as I can recall, I never liked my body hair, hated becoming an adult, never wanted to be called a man - that connotation just did not sit well with me, and to this day I still cannot get undressed in front of my peers. I'd rather get changed in the bathroom and come out in PJ's!

I've made the initial contact with Gender GP. Thank you for the recommendations.

If I did seek referral to GIC, I could quit at any time if I felt that actually, this wasn't for me?

No ones gonna make me feel ashamed?

It's a bit scary. A bit finite.

A step into the unknown.

Lucy

[maybesoph]

Hi Lucy,

No one will ever push you to do something that you don't feel is right.
The only person that makes things move forward with anything will be you and your choices alone.
GIC are there to help as are genderGP, No one will ever make you feel ashamed, and why would they? Being anywhere on the lgbt spectrum is never something to be ashamed of, it's who you are as a human being.
My opinion would be to seek a therapist who has a back ground with gender related issues, trust me I only did this myself 6 weeks ago & although I was scared stiff at first, talking it through is the bet thing I've ever done.
To actually hear someone else confirming wgmhat you actually already know to be true feels incredible, it feels amazing to be understood without fear of judgement too.
Trust me therapy in my opinion  is a good thing as a first step to discovering your true feelings.
All the best.

Sophie

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[Megan.]

Lucy, yes,  you can quit any time, or just pause at any point to take stock, many of us have done that, including myself.

Far from being lead, all the professionals I have come across so far, are there to listen, understand, and maybe challenge you with the odd question. The lack of anyone to tell you what you should do can be incredibly frustrating, but in the end,  the answers to your questions must come from you.

There is not a single topic (gender, sex or relationship) that I have not discussed. I've never been made to feel ashamed, only supported.

My first GIC appointment, I went in still without much of a clue about what I was, and how far, if at all, I wanted to go.

Good luck. X

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[CallmeMegan]

Hi Lucy

From what I can tell I think you have a lot of the same feelings and thoughts about your gender that I have had both as a child/teenager and then as an adult. I fought my feelings for yrats- far too long- but I'm now focussed on being who I feel I really am.

I'd be interested to hear about your initial steps with your GP and any referrals that they make for you and the approximate wait times in your part of the country.  I'm currently exploring my options and I'm quite interested in finding out more about GenderGP too.

Good luck

Megan x

[pamelatransuk]

Lucy

I appreciate entirely as I have felt and still feel those 2 problems - I have always been repulsed by body hair which is my main issue of physical dysphoria aswell as the genitalia and I cannot get dressed in front of others.

I am glad you have made contact with GenderGP.


(Callme)Megan

As I said above, there are several threads on GenderGP here on Transgender Talk and many UK Susans members have joined and are benefitting from their understanding in therapy and subsequent HRT (if applicable).

I wish you the best of luck if you choose to make contact.


Hugs to you both

Pamela

[LucyEgo]

Thanks for the messages of support.

Im annoyed at the moment about my body weight.

I can't explain it, it's like my male ego has given up and all that exists is a vessel. The vessel has asked Lucy for help, to take control, and she, or rather I, started looking around, cleaning up, and she resolved to help us lose weight.

I know that this all sounds very weird.

I can't think of another way to describe it. I know the implications of this, like, some kind of dissociative  identity disorder or some such, but it's not. I think it's getting to the basic point, Im not happy with who I am, or what I am. I have been suppressing Lucy for too long. I am Lucy.

I hope this makes sense.

Lucy