For me it was the disconnect from life itself. I spent years just letting life happen to me instead of experiencing and engaging with it. After cracks appeared over the years I would seal it up with more and more of what I perceived as "Masculinity", by the time it all came down I was an ugly ugly person. One insignificant stress too many and I found I couldn't do it anymore. All the BS was gone and there I was. Exposed, vulnerable, highly emotional, alone (because of the disconnection from life I had no real "Friends" to speak of), and for the first time in over 30 years I could see all of my life at once and saw a lot of holes...
I started plugging up the holes and simply couldn't deny it... It was waaaaaay too damn obvious for me at least. I only started to stabilize after admitting it, owning it, and being proud instead of ashamed for the first time in my life. Then came figuring out what to do. Still workin on that as we speak.