It's been a while since I've been on Susan's actively. Live has gotten busy and finding the time to post has been difficult, sorry.
I've learned a lot in the last 6-12 months about myself and life in general. Below is a list of things I've learned. These are all MY OPINION and you may have your own.
1. When I was pre-everything, including being out to myself. I always wondered what it would be like to be a woman. During my transition I've asked dozens of CIS gender people what it feels like to be male/female. The responses have varied from "I don't know" to "What are you talking about? I feel like me." The question was so very foreign to them that I realized cis people never think about their own gender (Period!).
*** fast forward to today - I've gone from thinking nothing but about my gender to I don't think about it any more. It's a hard thing to notice because if you notice it, then you're thinking about it. I guess that means that I'm now cured (?) since all the mental issues of pre-transition are gone!!! (there are new ones, but those are outside-social not inside-mental)
2. (no judging me on this one) I never appreciated diversity. Oh sure, I played lip service to being accepting but living for +55 years in a very homogenous suburban neighborhood I never experienced it for real life. Today I live in a building where a significant percentage of people are xxxxx. Pick xxxxx and you'll be right, young/old, black/white/other, straight/gay, cis/trans (although I don't know how many transgender people there really are), dog/cat lovers, windows/mac, iPhone/Android, Google home/Alexa (I go both ways). I now understand and appreciate how important diversity is for the health of a community.
3. The Magic Button. There are dozens of threads here from newer people asking "if you could press the magic button to wake up in the 'right' body, would you?" I've always thought that would be such a wonderful thing. I've come to realize, for me, that pressing that button would be a bad idea. Transition comes in three parts, Body, Mind, and those around you. Your friends, co-workers, family etc all have to transition with you. You must bring them along with you as you transition to be successful.
4. Pre "boobs" I was concerned that i would be infatuated with them. Cis-females would say that they never think about them (ok, when they hit them or need to put on a bra) they are just there just like an elbow. They are right. Sometimes in the shower, but they are just there and they are a part of me.
5. Friends. I've never had any real friends. All the "friends" I had pre-transition were friends of my ex-wife. Okay I had one or two but no one I could call at 3am to just talk. I now have a few friends that are in that category and I wouldn't trade them for the world. They are like gold and I love them dearly.
6. Emotions - Emotions are good. Even sad emotions are good. They are very unpredictable but I wouldn't trade them in either.
7. I'm a better person because I've transitioned.
8. It's important to give back to the community. If it's donating $1 to Susans or standing in front of an audience explaining what it is to be transgender and that we're not all that scary.
9. I started a journal when I started all of this. I wish I had kept it up!!!
10. The most important lesson I've learned is that NO ONE (outside my immediate family) CARES that I'm transitioning.
