Erika, My heart bleeds for you and your wife. This is so hard, such a tragedy. She is losing the man she married. Hard to blame her for being pissed, or even for not trusting the counselors who (from her point of view) may seem to be cheering you on and ripping you away from her. As one who has chosen to stay with an unaccepting spouse, sublimate, repress, and deny myself, I'm in no position judge anyone or to tell you what to do. I just know that I couldn't do it in my own life. I couldn't lose her, I couldn't leave her, and I couldn't lose access to my kids. Now (as we age in retirement and some health issues) it's become a mutual dependency—why leave now? Anyway, what to you is joyful freedom and is celebrated by your therapist as a breakthrough is likely, to your wife, a betrayal of your promise to love and care for her forever (because in her mind it was a man who made that pledge). I've had so much sadness about this in my life. I hurt for you both! Nancy