Disability woes :(

[EmilyRyan]

Almost a year into my job and the struggles I deal with, due to my learning disability, are getting worse each passing month it seems. I can't help I'm a slow learner, that I need extra instruction for tasks, and the way my mind processes everything to the point I have to work a slower pace than most others. Sadly even my job discourages slow learners from advancing like I was turned down an opportunity to work in the pharmacy which would've meant a very small but meaningful promotion and I would've had the opportunity to become a licensed pharmacy tech but nope because I learn differently and at a different pace I am not eligible and there is nothing I can legally do either but to suffer in silence.

This is the world I sadly live in. One that doesn't want people like me, that are different, to be included in. I really don't know of any other jobs/careers besides retail/customer service I could do and I don't know of any other jobs/careers I can do that pay over $10/hr either. I would love to work in insurance or some sort of office work but those discourage and keep people like me from working in them. 

[Sno]

Emily,

Great to see you! It sounds like work is being work-ish, but that's normal, sadly. The upside is that you've been there a year hon. You've been working for a whole year. That's a celebration in itself.

One small step at a time, you can do this

(Hugs)
Rowan

[Maid Marion]

Can you do data entry work?  Some people can do that quickly, even if they are slow learners.

[Dena]

General George Patton of World War II fame suffered with dyslexia which at a time when it was an unknown condition. Without help from the medical community or the government, he was able to find a way to deal with his difficulty and overcome his disability. It might require spending additional time reading something that others could quickly read but the end result was he became very knowledgeable about history and military tactics. You have a wealth of information available to you in the library and on the internet so learn more about your condition and what you can do to overcome your limitations. The way to excel in life is not to make things easer for you but to find a way to overcome your limitations. We all have limitations but what's important is how we overcome them.

[EmilyRyan]

General George Patton of World War II fame suffered with dyslexia which at a time when it was an unknown condition. Without help from the medical community or the government, he was able to find a way to deal with his difficulty and overcome his disability. It might require spending additional time reading something that others could quickly read but the end result was he became very knowledgeable about history and military tactics. You have a wealth of information available to you in the library and on the internet so learn more about your condition and what you can do to overcome your limitations. The way to excel in life is not to make things easer for you but to find a way to overcome your limitations. We all have limitations but what's important is how we overcome them.

Don't know how to respond to this other than I feel your response is ableist and recalling past responses in posts I made (like this one: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,218406.80.html) I feel you're against people with disabilities getting help and that employers both public and private should have the right to discriminate. Just remember this: People with disabilities have to eat and need a roof over their heads too. Just saying.   

Can you do data entry work?  Some people can do that quickly, even if they are slow learners.

I the right environment I could   

[Dena]

I don't have anything against people with disabilities and I have spent hours enjoying people restricted to wheel chairs.

The point is to consider somebody after an accident who needs physical therapy to restore their mobility but the physical therapy hurts. They can lay in bed and avoid the pain never regaining their mobility or they can put out the effort, suffer and return to a normal life. You never know what you  can accomplish unless you put your heart and sole into the effort.

To paraphrase my therapist. You have a problem and that's tough but what are you going to do about it? You can't rely on others to solve all your problems but you might be able to get help with a few if you can show what you have accomplished.

[EmilyRyan]

Okay I get what you're saying now like I didn't think I could make it through college but here I am with my associates sitting (albeit proudly) on my dresser. It's not the bachelors I tried and failed twice to get but I earned it.

You're right I can't rely on others on others to solve all my problems but you are right about the getting help and that's where I keep running into roadblocks like where I working right now my managers know how capable I am at running the register and they know how well I handle the pressures of customer service (something that even surprises me) but a sad reality I'm facing is despite all that they refuse to let me advance and grow. I'd like to work over at the pharmacy and when do that long enough I can earn my license to be a tech but nope instead of seeing what I've all done within a year all they see is someone that takes longer to learn, which due to my disability it's true I'm a slow learner, and instead they rather go through the trouble and resources of bringing extra people in. What do I do about situations like that??

[Cindy]

Okay I get what you're saying now like I didn't think I could make it through college but here I am with my associates sitting (albeit proudly) on my dresser. It's not the bachelors I tried and failed twice to get but I earned it.

You're right I can't rely on others on others to solve all my problems but you are right about the getting help and that's where I keep running into roadblocks like where I working right now my managers know how capable I am at running the register and they know how well I handle the pressures of customer service (something that even surprises me) but a sad reality I'm facing is despite all that they refuse to let me advance and grow. I'd like to work over at the pharmacy and when do that long enough I can earn my license to be a tech but nope instead of seeing what I've all done within a year all they see is someone that takes longer to learn, which due to my disability it's true I'm a slow learner, and instead they rather go through the trouble and resources of bringing extra people in. What do I do about situations like that??

Emily, what can you do in private to practice these skills? What can you set up as an idea to tackle particular issues you are weak on and try and create workarounds for? I know that I and others are very willing to help if you give us ideas of how. However, as Dena stated, you have to fight for every inch. Trying and pushing to the max is something we can help and encourage you in. Giving in is something I cannot follow.

I would not normally reveal any of this.
To put that in perspective. 18 months ago after radio and chemo therapy I was rendered severely dyslexic, I couldn't follow a sentence. I taught myself to read and write again.  So I spent 45 minutes every day reading a book and writing every word down and asking a friend to check what I had written.
I had no vocal cords after my larynx was removed and so I had to learn to speak with a prothesis. I read the book that I struggled to read, out load into my phone and played it back until the meaning was intelligible.
I couldn't move my shoulders, I couldn't reach my head to have a scratch, my arms would not raise above waist height, I couldn't balance standing still on two legs, I was bent over in pain.
So I made myself do simple gym exercises every morning. I practiced standing still counting to 3 then 5 then 7. I got a friend to tie a rope to a hook in the ceiling so that I could force my arms into a stretch position above my head in order to break the scar tissue restricting my movement.

So did it work?
Well, I got strong enough to get to a gym and get others to help me exercise. I can now walk for an hour or so at a time, I can wash my hair and shower and clean myself, I can look after my home and wash and clean my clothes, I can cook my meals and I can go out and buy the ingredients from the shops.

I can balance enough now to take photographs - a hobby I took up to push myself into areas that I could not accomplish before. I need ambition to tackle things that I am frightened of so I decided to write a novel. Dyslexic, pain in the hands and have problems concentrating, sounds a good challenge.

I have managed to start reading enough that I am back to enjoying it.

Speech wise, I am reluctant to use a phone as I am not very clear - but I gave a speech at a conference - I made that a bucket list. I've learned how to communicate with my hands and by facial expression and clicking tongue noises. (I still cannot watch TV or moving picture formats.)

Emily, I'm posting this reluctantly. No one here knows what I went through. I'm a fiercely independent person. I've managed to overcome my issues by smashing myself at them until I found a way to break through. I know it isn't easy but I have no alternatives. I have no help, and no one cares about me - except me.
I am nothing special. I am just me but I will not give in and I will not allow myself to be put in a box until I decide.

I'm old, you are young - so as Nike says 'just do it'.

Oh and when it hurts too much - scream.

I can't.

[Devlyn]

Emily, what can you do in private to practice these skills? What can you set up as an idea to tackle particular issues you are weak on and try and create workarounds for? I know that I and others are very willing to help if you give us ideas of how. However, as Dena stated, you have to fight for every inch. Trying and pushing to the max is something we can help and encourage you in. Giving in is something I cannot follow.

I would not normally reveal any of this.
To put that in perspective. 18 months ago after radio and chemo therapy I was rendered severely dyslexic, I couldn't follow a sentence. I taught myself to read and write again.  So I spent 45 minutes every day reading a book and writing every word down and asking a friend to check what I had written.
I had no vocal cords after my larynx was removed and so I had to learn to speak with a prothesis. I read the book that I struggled to read, out load into my phone and played it back until the meaning was intelligible.
I couldn't move my shoulders, I couldn't reach my head to have a scratch, my arms would not raise above waist height, I couldn't balance standing still on two legs, I was bent over in pain.
So I made myself do simple gym exercises every morning. I practiced standing still counting to 3 then 5 then 7. I got a friend to tie a rope to a hook in the ceiling so that I could force my arms into a stretch position above my head in order to break the scar tissue restricting my movement.

So did it work?
Well, I got strong enough to get to a gym and get others to help me exercise. I can now walk for an hour or so at a time, I can wash my hair and shower and clean myself, I can look after my home and wash and clean my clothes, I can cook my meals and I can go out and buy the ingredients from the shops.

I can balance enough now to take photographs - a hobby I took up to push myself into areas that I could not accomplish before. I need ambition to tackle things that I am frightened of so I decided to write a novel. Dyslexic, pain in the hands and have problems concentrating, sounds a good challenge.

I have managed to start reading enough that I am back to enjoying it.

Speech wise, I am reluctant to use a phone as I am not very clear - but I gave a speech at a conference - I made that a bucket list. I've learned how to communicate with my hands and by facial expression and clicking tongue noises. (I still cannot watch TV or moving picture formats.)

Emily, I'm posting this reluctantly. No one here knows what I went through. I'm a fiercely independent person. I've managed to overcome my issues by smashing myself at them until I found a way to break through. I know it isn't easy but I have no alternatives. I have no help, and no one cares about me - except me.
I am nothing special. I am just me but I will not give in and I will not allow myself to be put in a box until I decide.

I'm old, you are young - so as Nike says 'just do it'.

Oh and when it hurts too much - scream.

I can't.

You've done it with grace and panache, never lashing out at those trying to help you. There's a lot to be learned from watching you, Cindy.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Allison S]

Hi Emily, I remember your posts. Congrats on a year at your job, that's an accomplishment in itself.

I've been thinking about your posts and responses. Honestly, I think I've had a learning disability all my life.
I see a lot of the posts tell you to work with and overcome your disability.
But no one truly understands the struggle you're going through. I know, because I have to put 2x the effort to do just about anything. It can even leave me drained and frustrated.

I think the best step you can take is to contact a pcp/doctor about this specific problem and go from there.

I understand people get better with physical and speech therapy. But what I'm hearing is your need for the same, except your issue or disability isn't as evident as the ones people mentioned or reference. Still, this is something you're deeply struggling with and it only gets worse if it debilitates you. It's a disability not many people understand because it can effect the mind, body and functioning, all at different times or the same time.

I feel like what pushes me is my passion, I don't know why I have it in me. I'm always surprised when I even respond this way. I know I made a lot of responses and this will sound weird, but I really feel a disconnect and I'm unsure how my brain or body does what I do. It's not that I'm dissociating but that's an example of how I often feel "drained"...

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

[EmilyRyan]

Thank you Allison for not only being understanding but for completely getting my point.
You are absolutely right it is terribly exhausting and frustrating especially when no one elses understands.
Seeing a therapist and a doctor is easier said than done for sadly I cant afford either. And yeah everyone else tells me to overcome or work with my disability but never mention what or how to go about like I don't have a clue and Google hasn't been helpful either and again can't afford treatment if any.

But yeah you rock for being the one that totally understands

[Maid Marion]

Unless you are wealthy most Americans can only get help from a therapist if insurance pays for it.  Learning with the help of a therapist is hard enough.  I can now learn on my own but that is only after learning via therapists and the help of a partner who provided invaluable insights that I'd never figured out on my own.

[EmilyRyan]

I don't have insurance nor can I afford it and job doesn't give enough hours to qualify.
Yep I'm screwed

[Jamie Xu]

I am dyslexic. I very much dislike how it's described as a learning disability. My cognitive ability is well above average and I often see the bigger picture to situations that regular people can't see. Dyslexic people think in nonverbal, 3-dimensional, multi-sensory pictures that are far superior and faster compered to how regular people think.

Some people even call it a gift. Many of the most successful people in the world are dyslexic.

I do understand the frustrations though, the humiliation and embarrassment from being dyslexic in my school days was extremely traumatic and destroyed my mental health.

I can relate to how you feel Emily.

Hugs...

[EmilyRyan]

Ugh it's not getting any better I need a new job that'll actually give me a chance/opportunity of advancement.

Anybody know of any companies or businesses that are understanding of disabilities and are actually inclusive?? Please and thank you

[Dena]

Work with what you have. You want a promotion and they wouldn't give it to you because you didn't have the qualifications. The next thing to do is ask your boss what you can do to improve your skills or become a better match for the job. Something they don't tell you in school but when you get out in the world the real learning starts. I learned many times more in the working world than I did in school. If you don't learn, you get stuck in a dead end job.

My jobs didn't provide me with additional training. They told me what needed to be done and it was up to me to find the books or invent a way of solving the problem. I came up with a number of original solutions that the others I worked with would have never thought of and were very impressed by.

[EmilyRyan]

Why are you against people with disabilities getting help?? Please I really like to know and don't dodge my question by claiming you have nothing against because as far as I'm concerned that's a lie.

Don't people with disabilities deserve a chance at anything even if it require extra training?? We would like to do more than be stuck at low paying jobs and we too have to eat

[Dena]

I have nothing against people with disabilities. What I am telling you is how to work within the system. I don't think I have ever been paid overtime but yet I always put in more than my 8 hours. When I go home in the evening, I may not do physical work but my mind continues examine the problem at hand looking for alternatives.

If you only do whats requested and never show that your capable of more, you will never be viewed as capable of doing more. Companies don't stay in business long giving jobs to people who are unable to do the job. Consider how you would feel if you purchased fast food that was un eatable because it was prepared by somebody who wanted the job but couldn't do it. You rely on people who can do the job well for everything you need and want in life.

Yes, the old Russia once gave everybody a job unconditionally. The result was that buildings fell down. Products were costly, poorly made and often difficult to obtain. This eventually resulted in the downfall of the country because they could no longer afford a military or much of anything else. The book Mig Pilot is an excellent contrast between both cultures from the viewpoint of somebody who lived in both.

[EmilyRyan]

Your response further reinforces my point and still didn't answer my question

And for the record I have been on this job for a over a year now and have done just about everything there is in the store from cashiering, stocking, the photolab, and just about anything else that's not restricted to only managers and pharmacy. There are people that have been there far less time than me that have gotten promoted and still didn't know as much as I do and I've had to show them and their lack of knowing has caused some hardship and yet they get promoted while I'm overlooked because they refuse to be inclusive and refuse to let me learn new skills like pharmacy tech.

[Devlyn]

Your response further reinforces my point and still didn't answer my question

And for the record I have been on this job for a over a year now and have done just about everything there is in the store from cashiering, stocking, the photolab, and just about anything else that's not restricted to only managers and pharmacy. There are people that have been there far less time than me that have gotten promoted and still didn't know as much as I do and I've had to show them and their lack of knowing has caused some hardship and yet they get promoted while I'm overlooked because they refuse to be inclusive and refuse to let me learn new skills like pharmacy tech.

When I was young, I worked the stockroom. As my knowledge grew and I showed my willingness to learn I moved to assembly. Eventually I became group leader and later, shift supervisor. After many years, I advanced to working on mil spec equipment, culminating in a position working on air data management systems for military drones. Would I have liked to work on the stuff that goes BOOM right from the beginning? Of course, but that isn't how it works in life. You climb the ladder slowly, rung by rung. I spent more than a year (which is where you say you are experience-wise) only being allowed to schlep parts out to the people doing the real work.

My sister is a pharmacist, she didn't reach that position until she was in her thirties. None of us are promoted because we want the position, we earn the positions by showing our worth and putting in our time. It frequently takes years of hard work.

You keep saying that you have a learning disability. Have you considered that your employer may be giving you additional time to learn before giving you additional responsibilities? Pharmacy work is something that needs to be absolutely right, people's lives will literally be in your hands. The responsibility is huge. Your boss needs to see that your dedication comes first, not your desire for a promotion.

Good things are worth waiting for, they're worth the blood, sweat, and tears. Read the advice you've been offered by people who have been there. Put it into practice before railing against it and tossing accusations around.

Hugs, Devlyn