Life...is...strange...

findingreason · October 24, 2018, 05:14:46 PM

Idk what's happening at the moment. I'm scared others are out for me, to find me, hurt me, torture me. What do I do? The medical community already wants me to not do GCS cause they want me stable but their cronies want to control my mind with whatever it is they use. I saw the police and security earlier and I am sure they are monitoring me. They're conspiring against me as is everyone else. Demons are out and about and following me. If I go out, they will follow and possess others and they'll get hurt because of me. I don't want others to get hurt because of me attracting evil forces.

I don't know what to do. The therapist says I'm not stable. It's frustrating. When I know what's going on.

Alice V · October 24, 2018, 05:42:37 PM

You're not stable? Girl, ya crazy 😀
Don't mean to offens, but I said exactly what I said. In all this noncense try to realise that there is tha problem.

Here how world works. Nobody care about you unless you doing something nasty, like, let's say, trying to explode a bomb. People don't care bout anything unless it's massive or touch themselves.

GingerVicki · October 24, 2018, 05:55:49 PM

It is good to be paranoid if people are actually out to get you. I've been there and done that! For now they leave me alone.

It is all fun and games until the Captioned Telephone Service started transcribing in Russian. LOL

Alice V · October 24, 2018, 06:06:00 PM

QuoteIt is all fun and games until the Captioned Telephone Service started transcribing in Russian. LOL

What? We're just curious.

GingerVicki · October 24, 2018, 06:39:53 PM

I wish I knew. The only thing that I remember is meeting a foreign guy in college that said that he is going through someone because they have the best program. It was weird because I did not tell anyone that I was getting a sex change. That is when I was told that I was going to be a Scientologist.

findingreason · October 25, 2018, 04:18:33 AM

Ugh, I can't completely see it. The band coordinator where I go to for rehabilitation said to contact my therapist, he said I'm getting psychotic....idk. Idk about anything

findingreason · October 26, 2018, 09:07:04 AM

Was in therapy and emergency therapy due to orders of my band leader. She saw me and said she was worried about me...then they said come back tomorrow if things were further amiss. I go and yup, they want to throw me in psych ward. So here I am. The therapist said I have had a psychotic break...

They're all in a ploy to stop me from getting surgery, from being happy. The demons were communicating subliminally with me to help others, to heal the world, to be great and do something I am always meant to do. The doctor was in the commons room and asked why I was talking to myself. I was communicating with them and my higher self. He said he had to go and would see me Monday. So stressful. No one believes me. No one.

findingreason · October 31, 2018, 11:35:44 AM

....well this is embarrassing. I'm realising I was not in my right mind. 🙁

I'm trying to piece together this last week or two. I'm still in the psych ward. They said I am looking better and should be releasing me either by Friday or Monday. I am on a pretty brutal dose of antipsychotics...

Alice V · October 31, 2018, 11:57:13 AM

QuoteThey said I am looking better and should be releasing me either by Friday or Monday.

Sounds great. Wish you best 🙂 Stay sane

Michelle_P · October 31, 2018, 11:59:54 AM

Quote from: findingreason on October 31, 2018, 11:35:44 AM
....well this is embarrassing. I'm realising I was not in my right mind. 🙁
...

Don't be embarrassed. You had a bad bout, it gave you problems, and you got help. Now you are healing.

We've all had problems of some sort, needed help, and many of us got the help we needed and are healed or healing. Sometimes our problems have an unfortunate social stigma attached. That is a social/cultural problem, and not our problem.

It's good to read that the folks helping you say you are looking better. I hope all goes well for you.

findingreason · October 31, 2018, 12:05:04 PM

Quote from: Michelle_P on October 31, 2018, 11:59:54 AM
Don't be embarrassed. You had a bad bout, it gave you problems, and you got help. Now you are healing.

We've all had problems of some sort, needed help, and many of us got the help we needed and are healed or healing. Sometimes our problems have an unfortunate social stigma attached. That is a social/cultural problem, and not our problem.

It's good to read that the folks helping you say you are looking better. I hope all goes well for you.

Thanks...yeah, it definitely a stigma attached. I'm so glad my wife and partner are accepting no matter what. It's such a difficulty, this mental health condition, schizophrenia.

It's altered the course of my life and not in good ways either.

Oh well, my rehabilitation program doing music is okay. The coordinator said to take my time to heal and come back when I'm ready. My Finnish language course...not so sure about that one yet. We'll see. I hate when my life is disrupted by my health issues.