What should Women Know about being a Woman

[Rachael]

heh, exactly... that happens so often One of the shared annoyances... I just save money with the lack of blood...
R

[Purple Pimp]

There are a few practical issues that can be more pertinent for women.

         1) Take your keys out of your purse when walking to your car. You don't want to be standing in the dark and unable to find them

         2) Be cognizant of who pulls up beside you at traffic lights at night.
         3) Don't ride around on near empty
         4) Try to keep your cell phone with sufficient charge.
         5) If you must have a listed phone, use initials
         6) Don't get a personalized plate that screems FEMALE!

    Women usually learn this stuff at an early age. Some T-Girls never.   

Much agreed about the keys.  I think the most important thing for an MTF to know about being a woman is how much more likely you are to be a victim.  Sad, but true.  Depending on where you live and the odds, other measures might also be taken.  For example, when walking somewhere after dark, call someone on your cell phone, or at least pretend to be having a conversation.  Not a gabfest (you want to look like you're aware of your surroundings), but you know what I mean.

Lia

[Rachael]

dont think victim... far too many here do that anyway.... just be aware that you COULD be...
R

[Sarah]

I just got back today - last night late really - from being up in Tahoe to ski the freshens.  There were four of us who went up to try to beat the storm, and we did.  There were two girls, two boys (to the degree I count as a boy).  One of the girls was an old friend of mine, who I went to HS with and we have been skiing for over 35 years together, the other was a union sister who I've been working with for five or so years now.  They could not be further apart.  One, from what counts as old money here, whose family owns one of the oldest wineries in the Sonoma Valley, a graduate of Stanford, University of Chicago and Boalt Hall at the University of California in Berkeley in law.  The other, 25, from a poor family, who was on the tour bus at 19 (as hard a life as any girl can have) and one of the top stagehands I have ever known.  Despite being stuck together in the backseat of a Subaru Outback for more than five hours they didn't seem to bond very well.  There was no "we are girls" deal going on.

When we got to Tahoe, and got to the tekla family cabin (a house really) we lost power within the first hour.  For two days, as ten feet of snow fell, and winds hit 70+ mph on the valley floor, and over 140+ mph up on the high peeks, we had no power.  But we have a fireplace, and a gas stove, so we ate well and were warm (3 season sleeping bags help).  And, of course with no electronic amusement we kind of had to amuse ourselves.  So we played cards, cooked, even shoot some skeet in a break between fronts (in the US we don't play with toy guns, we have real ones).  And gradually they warmed to each other.

Perhaps it was the sense that we were in it together.  Perhaps it was Ivy showing Maria (are all Italian girls named Marie or Maria?) how to work the Ipod her kids gave her for xmas.  Perhaps it was Maria's most excellent cooking (and a case of her families' best product).  But there was no 'instant bonding' as woman.  Perhaps its different in the UK. 

The skiing was good - as good as I've ever had, but the older I get, the more I love it.  Real powder in the Sierra  is as rare as water in the Sahara, so that was nice.  And Ivy and Ed went off on their boards, Maria and me on our skis, and we met a few times a day for a wine break, and for lunch (cell phones are the best ski accessory since the invention of the glove).  And on the third day, the two girls, one on a board, one on skis went off together for the afternoon (Ed took off with some babe he met, and I skied the trees because only I'm that crazy).  But it took five days for that to happen.  There was nothing instant about it.  Sharing a set of genitals is not some alpha and omega deal that crosses all other borders, all other boundaries, or any other class, education, upbringing, career, or values deal.  Not at all. 

And I talked with them - in fact we all talked about it one night over a few bottles of Blanc de Noir, because I could read the posts here on the Iphone, but not respond to them.  So the difference in genders, and in gender perception is a good topic when everyone gets to the In Vino Veritas point.  And that was a most revealing (as most such conversations are) evening.

But, oddly enough I think it was the skeet.  Which is sort of a guy deal.  After all, I've been shooting since I was a kid, and Ed's dad was a general in the US Army, so no stranger to firearms is he.  But Maria's dad - because its such an idle rich rural deal, was a three times national skeet champion, and she is awesome (98% type good).  Ivy, being a vegan hippie type had never held a gun in her life before that afternoon.  It was Maria teaching Ivy to shoot that really brought them together, not the fact that they both have periods.



As for: "its more ethinically, and religiously diverse than your clultural United states of america" ... your kidding right?  There are neighborhoods in NYC and LA, or Miami that are more diverse than anywhere else in the world.

That sounds like a wonderful time.
I love skiing.
And shooting.
And cabins.
And Italian food.
What a wonderful time. In the winter no less in the snow.
^_^
Sara

By the way, Tekla, I don't mean to be going off topic here, but what kind of Berretta do you have?

[Rachael]

what type of beretta? the offtopic and not for gun discussion model i hear....
R

[Sarah]

Hey just because you shoot airsoft..
and not a real gun...
don't be jealous now..

Posted on: January 20, 2008, 02:52:22 AMUsefull things:
Conditioner is a must in a dry climate!

Posted on: January 20, 2008, 03:06:36 AMAlways use very hot water when shaving legs!

Posted on: January 20, 2008, 03:08:08 AMWhen shaping eyebrows, always do so from the underside, never the top: that is your natrual shape of eyebrow.

Posted on: January 20, 2008, 03:09:14 AMKnow your figure: A line skirts make you look curvier, straight skirts make you look taller! (and slimmer)

[Keira]

Actually the underside of eyebrow thing is kinda going out as a precept,
except on the outer 1/2 towards
the outside where it wouldn't make too much sense (except to do minute triming)

An example, if you want your eyebrow to start high on the outside, curve slightly up hitting a summit outside the iris (it used to be more towards the center) and then have the eyebrow go down continuously towards the inside, you need to remove a bit on top in the inner 1/3 or the eyebrow will finish straight or even going upward (which makes you look older). If you look at ALL models in magazines like Vogue or InStyle you'll see what I mean, the high arch eyebrow is out, the eyebrow where the inner and outter edge are almost equal is out, the thin eyebrow OUT.

[Sarah]

YAy!
Soon we'll have NO eyebrow!
We'll just be painting it on! 
Anyway, you are right, it is just a guidline, but it is a helpful one.
I think it's worth doing the inside 1/2 on the top if it's done right at a salon.
Waxing is the way to go for sure.

Have you tried those eyebrow razors? Useless!
Utterly useless unless you just need to trim a quick stray hair.

I'm thinking aobut getting an eyebrow kit for a more longer lasting job.
Salons are worth it in my opinion though..

Sara

[Rachael]

Hey just because you shoot airsoft..
and not a real gun...
don't be jealous now..

um, im not.... real guns are dangerous, and hurt people... i only shoot airsoft guns because its the sports main too... i dont give a crap about guns generally...
im GLAD i only have airsoft...
what? jelous? of you?
R >

[ssindysmith]

Airsoft is so much fun so is paintball, I do both, funny thing is I never did it it when I was a guy?? I guess without that nasty T running in my system I can have fun at something win or loose

[Rachael]

yah, i started playing airsoft after i came out to myself, and have been most popular and involved in the sport since i transitioned! people at my local site, and forum are starting to forget apart from some ->-bleeped-<- yanks who love to bring it up on the forum... but hey, im a mod ^_^
yeah not having to win is something guys could do with learning!
R >

[Princess Katrina]

There are a few practical issues that can be more pertinent for women.

         1) Take your keys out of your purse when walking to your car. You don't want to be standing in the dark and unable to find them
         3) Don't ride around on near empty
         4) Try to keep your cell phone with sufficient charge.

    Women usually learn this stuff at an early age. Some T-Girls never.   

Someone forgot to teach these to my mum!

Actually, until her most recent purse, she's never had trouble finding her keys. Her keychain's bigger than most the purses she's had.

and you cleary know nothing about the uk.... its more ethinically, and religiously diverse than your clultural United states of america...

I kinda wonder what you know about the US. >.> 8 years of pissing people off =/= lack of ethnic and religious diversity.

We have pakistani, indian, asian, eastern european, Kurdish, Iranian, lebanise, sommali, african, and  many other communities within the uk...

We have that and more just at my university, and it's not even one of the biggest campuses in Texas, much less than country. Hell, you're not even considering the fact that we have dozens of Native American ethnicities that you don't have in the UK.

What you're probably mistaking for higher diversity is a result of less room. College campuses aside, you're not necessarily as likely to see all of those in the same section of town in the US, since a lot of ethnicities group up. The UK doesn't have as much room for that, so you may be more likely to see them mixing up together. That's *not* the same as increased diversity.

[Rachael]

is this a my penis is bigger than yours but  national diversity version?
yesh
R >

[tekla]

Nah, in that case Canada wins.  From the CIA Fact-book...

UK  (population) 60,776,238 (July 2007 est.)
Ethnic Groups: white (of which English 83.6%, Scottish 8.6%, Welsh 4.9%, Northern Irish 2.9%) 92.1%, black 2%, Indian 1.8%, Pakistani 1.3%, mixed 1.2%, other 1.6% (2001 census)

USA - 301,139,947
white 81.7%, black 12.9%, Asian 4.2%, Amerindian and Alaska native 1%, native Hawaiian and other Pacific islander 0.2% (2003 est.)
note: a separate listing for Hispanic is not included because the US Census Bureau considers Hispanic to mean a person of Latin American descent (including persons of Cuban, Mexican, or Puerto Rican origin) living in the US who may be of any race or ethnic group (white, black, Asian, etc.)  Self-identified hispanic population, about 12.5%, which would shrink the white group to the low 70% as most ID as white, not black, except the Cuban population.

Canada - 33,390,141
Ethnic groups: British Isles origin 28%, French origin 23%, other European 15%, Amerindian 2%, other, mostly Asian, African, Arab 6%, mixed background 26%

[NicholeW.]

I find that living as a woman there are a lot of situations where topics come up that most cis-gendered girls were taught about growing up, that now everyone expects that I should know already.  I am wondering if other people experience this, and if there is a practical list of the things we should know as woman, about being a woman, so we don't sound dumb in conversation.

I don't mean to derail this discussion of

my penis is bigger than yours but  national diversity version,

but in seeing that Mila asked about something else I thought I might go back to that for just a second.

Mila, if you want to find out how to move among and 'fit in' with women, then do that, even if there are things that you don't know to begin with. Watch and learn, listen and hear. That's the way girls do it.

Trying to learn them on a TS/TG board is not nearly as functional a way to do it as becoming one of 'the company of women,' whatever your particular social, economic or ethnic form of diversity might be.

Nichole

[Rachael]

yah
learning how to behave like a woman from people who learned how to behave like women from someone else...
its like photocopying a photocopy... each time you do it, the quality goes down... and you end up with something entirely different!

learn from those born women, not digging at anyone, its just easier from the horses mouth, and experiencing it YOURSELF...
second and third hand info, modified by the poster sucks. even my advice.
R

[Princess Katrina]

is this a my penis is bigger than yours but  national diversity version?
yesh
R >

Actually, it's called correcting inaccurate information. If someone is going to declare that X is Y because of Z, then they'd best have Z correct. Otherwise, they can no longer show that X is Y, even if X *is* Y.

I don't mean to offend, by the way. I just find the accuracy of information to be extremely important to any discussion...

[Rachael]

well maybe next time, we should go to eachothers country, perform a 2 year diversity study, then comment, as i wager neither of us are right, and that we should let it die.... agreed?
R >

[Keira]

Yep, Canada is  I think the most diverse country with Australia.
Those are the two countries with the highest immigration per capita.
In the Toronto Area (the most diverse), you'll be lucky if you can find
anyone who's not an immigrant or who's father is not an immigrant.

[Schala]

Pretty diverse in Montreal too. The only less-diverse places might be the sub-urbs and rural areas. But hey I managed to find English-speaking people in Repentigny (a sub-urb) after a few years. I found some in Terrebonne too.

I never thought learning about celeb gossip was going to do me any good...because:
1) I hardly watch TV at all...except maybe anime and movies.
2) I don't socialize all that much
3) I find that kind of gossip boring, pointless. The only way I'd know, or want to know about such gossip is if it introduced a worthy discussion topic. I don't care if Britney Spears gets married 35 times in 35 minutes and gets 35 babies the next year. It's just a 'funny fact' to read in a Guiness Book of Records lol.

I don't have a car, so the key thingy sort of doesn't apply.

Make-up is something I use, but not something I talk about. First, my knowledge and interest in it is limited. I don't use much make-up, only enough to have a natural look, and I keep the same make-up (no different for other occasions).

Same for purses...a purse is a practical item I carry around to put countless things that will no doubt get lost in this abyss when I need them. I want a purse that fits this:
1) I like the color / material / style
2) Big enough for my purposes and with pockets/zippers where I want them
3) Easy enough to carry (I like the backpack style)
4) Solid enough (won't last only two weeks)

I don't switch purse because it's summer or something. The only reason I'd have another purse is to match a particular outfit it might clash with, or to serve other purposes that my purse normally couldn't do (ie a bigger one, or a smaller one). I don't color-coordinate with tree leaves or snow.

As for the rest, I go about it how I feel. I go by politeness and kindness, two values I've always held, and put my personality in the mix, and go from there. Never had issues. Most people like to hear a "Thank you, have a nice day." from my experience. I hold doors for people sometimes, like tonight I did for a mother with a kid in a stroller. I do things how I feel them...and people still see me as female.

There's no other way to be me...than to be me.