Sorry to necro-post but this was the most interesting thread I have come across in weeks. And besides, Genopunk had just mentioned how nice it was that the thread had been brought back on topic and how interesting the thread had become.
I think a lot of this stuff has to do with one's age group. I think college women are much more likely to discuss menstruation than women my age (40s). In fact at my age the only reason women bring up the topic is when they suspect I am male and use it as a way to gain information as to my "true" sex and it is generally women who are in their late twenties or mid thirties. Older women never bring it up (in my experience).
I have had the experience of passing as a female in a group of females for about eight months or so until it became obvious that the women had been talking about me behind my back. Whereas I was a member of that group previously, after people started talking (never figured out why) it became obvious that I was an outsider. On the other hand back when I was first going out as "female" but not passing as female I lacked the experience to be able to recognize whether I was being accepted or not. The truth was that early in transition I had never had the experience of being accepted as female, rather I had the experience of being accepted as a male who dressed like a female so I was ignorant of what it was like to be accepted as female and I assumed that I was being accepted as a female and I was wrong.
Growing up the wrong sex is a way to grow out of touch with your inner being and the longer you spend as the wrong sex the more out of touch you are going to be with your inner sex or inner person. And why not? All those other females have had the 'experiences' of growing up, learning and gaining all sorts of information that we never had access to. Someone said, "Just be yourself." The problem is that just being yourself will get you read quicker than a New York minute, if you had to spend your early years growing up in the wrong sex role. Besides someone who has been living life with testosterone flowing through her veins is going to experience life differently than someone with an estrogen dominated endocrinology.
People who stand out as eye candy to heterosexual men are going to have an entirely different appreciation for males and their world is going to differ from that of someone who is struggling to not be seen as a gay male because that person feels that she has always been a woman, but has never been recognized as such, has never been allowed to participate as such, has never been allowed to socialize as such or has never had the experience of Being socialized as such.
And yet so many women who transition to become their "true selves" often Assume that they know it all and all they have to do is, "Be themselves."
If Being a woman or a female was as easy as looking female and believing that you are female then that would reduce women to ideas and appearances but there is more to being a woman than an idea and looking like one. There was a difference between the wooden Pinocchio and when he became a real boy. There is a difference between looking like a female and believing you are one and having a female life and people who are "accepted" as "females" are going to have a different experience than people who don't need any acceptance. It takes work but if you really need it, it is worth the effort. If you don't really need it and if redefining womanhood to blend in with a male upbringing is good enough, then that is just something I really can't begin to relate to.
Post Merge: January 17, 2009, 04:06:54 PM
Quote from: Caprica-6 on January 17, 2009, 03:56:24 PM
people who are "accepted" as "females" are going to have a different experience than people who don't need any acceptance.
What I mean is this.. out there in the real world women are never "accepted" as women, they simply are women. And someone who has "acceptance" as a woman isn't going to experience social interactions as a woman because "acceptance" is what we get when people don't actually believe we are women. "Acceptance" (something so many of us work so hard for) and try to gain by educating people... it is counter productive and never has the desired effect of allowing one to experience social interactions as a woman.
Some of us really believe that education is what is necessary. And some of us need to believe that we are being "accepted" as women, so that is what we believe. If we need to believe that there is life after death then we will probably believe that too. People believe what they want. But the experience of being "accepted" as a woman is not what it appears to be or it is not what some of us believe it is. Of course if you disagree with me then in your world you will always be right because instead of getting out there and knowing the world, most of us sit back and experience the world as ideas.
