Have you thought how your everyday life will change or not as you transition?

[Lisa89125]

This is a topic I am glad has come up. I have struggled with this question a lot since beginning my transition. I'm well known for my interest in steam power and in railways. I also am well known for my interest in electrical stuff.

When I began my transition I thought I would get away from all my old activities in favor of taking up more feminine interest and hobbies. I don't spend nearly as much time on my old interest and find I have little desire to get involved anymore in those subjects. Yet I can't quite get away from them either.

Lisa

[Allison S]

My life has changed and daily living is so much easier. I don't really feel as bad about myself with the changes I've been getting on hrt. But I'm only less than 15 months on hrt so I have a long way to go still. I like being a feminine trans woman it's better than being a man.

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[Lisa89125]

Amen! 

Lisa

[Linde]

 I have not picked up any of the so called female duties at all.  I still hate t wash dishes, I still hate dusting or vacuuming, I still don't clean up after myself.
I really did not change anything.  On thy other hand, I was partially female all my life, and nothing about that has really changed either

[Lynne]

I have not picked up any of the so called female duties at all.  I still hate t wash dishes, I still hate dusting or vacuuming, I still don't clean up after myself.
I really did not change anything.  On thy other hand, I was partially female all my life, and nothing about that has really changed either

These shouldn't really be female duties anyway...
I try to be more tidy than before but that's not directly related to my transition and I'm not very successful either

[IAmM]

These shouldn't really be female duties anyway...
I try to be more tidy than before but that's not directly related to my transition and I'm not very successful either

You are right, there should not be female duties and there should not be male duties either.

Here is the thing that no one talks about though, women are measured by other women. So many worry about men after transition, those days are over. Men do their thing, alpha, beta, WWE mania or whatever, they have their way, we have ours. The people who will push you will always be women and not all of them will be nice.
  I don't really know what kind of world everyone lives in, in my world we are expected to do certain things. Lol, not dishes, most are not exceptionally fond of doing dishes.
  I am not sure why peer pressure has never effected me but it never has. My friends still gave me crap that I never wear a bra, the only thing I have heard in more than two years is from my best friend two months ago when we were in a boutique for sexy underwear. `You should wear a bra sometimes, you should get fitted for one.' I asked her why and she said, you may not think people notice but everyone does. It is not a horrible thing, big change from her point of view 3 years ago, but sometimes you should wear a bra.

We can be a sex object or non entity of men. Yeah, that is being deliberately obtuse, not really the case... effectively true though. OR! We become part of women.

That is where transition theory becomes transition fact. You will be a woman hopefully, and women are held to a standard if they expect to fit in. Being a guy is easy, girls are much more particular in who they accept into the club. Much.

For some of you it will never matter, and that is a good thing. Some of us reside in the realm of hormonal imbalances and do what we can to get by.

It is not about girl duties, it is about what we are EXPECTED to do by the people who actually really matter to us. It is not even that hard, women are trying to be what they are expected to be as women, they will resent the hell out of any girl that does not conform to that standard that they have been held to their whole lives.

That is how I see it anyway.

[Aurorasky]

You are right, there should not be female duties and there should not be male duties either.

Here is the thing that no one talks about though, women are measured by other women. So many worry about men after transition, those days are over. Men do their thing, alpha, beta, WWE mania or whatever, they have their way, we have ours. The people who will push you will always be women and not all of them will be nice.

I agree, in part with this, even if I think it is not always so linear but it does hold true many times. Before transition I was very feminine and people almost never knew what I was or assumed I was girl. By FAR the worst abuse I had was from guys my age and even younger, because they can be so cruel to who's diferente from them and who doesn't fit the macho stereotype. And whoever doesn't fit the stereotype almost always becomes an outcast, and the men are not subtle about excluding that person and making fun of them. After transition, I started finding myself much more evaluated by women than men. The truth is women are much more critical of themselves than men, and thus also become much more critical of other women. I think this derives from the insecurity caregivers and society always tries to impose on us since the moment we are born. We intuitively know we are the "weaker" sex, so tend to each other apart instead of "competing" in friendly terms and equally with both men and women, as if we know the battle is lost when it's against men, so we turn against each other. It's not healthy but it's true.


That said, I definitely don't think women are all bad, it's just a unhealthy dynamic that too often is rooted in our insecurities we project on other women. But sometimes we need to look at ourselves. And if you find a good group of girlfriends who support you and are there for you, I swear they can be Susan Boyle or Meghan Markle, they won't feel threatened by you and transition will become more fun with them. Never underestimate the power of a good girlfriendship.

[Lynne]

You are right, there should not be female duties and there should not be male duties either.

...
It is not about girl duties, it is about what we are EXPECTED to do by the people who actually really matter to us. It is not even that hard, women are trying to be what they are expected to be as women, they will resent the hell out of any girl that does not conform to that standard that they have been held to their whole lives.

That is how I see it anyway.

Everyone, including women, should learn by now that we should not be expected to do anything. It should not be wrong if a girl(or anyone really) does not conform to the stupid made up norms of society. Closed minded people tend to judge others for things like that and I try to surround myself with people who are more accepting of the idea that not everyone should be the same as the others.

I've been seen as a feminine boy and 'man' for a long time and it was bullying and borderline harassment for the first 10 years in school where tomboy girls had no problems at all. I think a lot of us seen similar things over the years, so I think a woman generally has more room to express herself than a man, even if there are certain expectations.

[Harley Quinn]

I have found that I didn't really change.  My intrests are still my intrests.  I did however openly adopt intrests that I felt prohibited from or that I concealed in the past.  In my everyday life, I have noted a bit more time in personal care after depression passed and I am a bit more organized by necessity.  By necessity I mean, I have a lot more crap and need to keep it organized if I have the hope of finding my lipstick.    I can't say that much has changed over the past 3 years...  a double edged sword.  My family doesn't see "transition", only a "more so" me. 

[AnamethatstartswithE]

I don't have too much to add to this, but my motto has always been "cool things don't stop being cool just because I wear a skirt and sit when I pee"

[SonadoraXVX]

Strenghtwise?for sure, looks? a curiosity for sure. Social interaction wise?, a woman and looks and acts like a female. Knowledge base? Feminine and masculine grounded.

Who's that chick on lane 10, shooting that 338 lm, at over 1500? yds[emoji848][emoji2955][emoji7][emoji2955]

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[HappyMoni]

I do wonder though if it is too much to expect a male buddy to continue to hang out with you as much or in all the same ways when you are a woman though, even though he is supportive of you as a woman.  The relationship seems like it would change after you transition because woman and man social interaction dynamics are not the same as guy and guy friendships, or woman and woman friendships.  At least you did not lose a friend and have a supporter.  The relationship would likely change. But perhaps it should, as you are woman.

When we transition, we certainly have to expect change.

Chrissy

I was 'best man' (funny huh) at my friend's wedding. He is a very macho type and his values are very stuck in the Andy Griffith Show era. He had two brothers but always called me his  real brother because we were closer. He confided in me. When I came out, based on the above, I figured he was gone for sure. Surprisingly, he was very supportive at first. He was too supportive sometimes, saying things too loudly like, "I'm outnumbered at this table being the only guy." I rolled my eyes, but appreciated his effort. As time went on, I could see he was struggling, becoming more uncomfortable with me. Of course, I would blurt out the old line, "Well, I'm still the same person." He replied, "No you aren't." I was convinced he was wacky until I came to realize he was right. If my whole contention of being a woman was correct (hint, it is) then in his eyes, I was not the same person at all. Finally, we were out at a restaurant and I excused myself to go to the ladies room. My partner said, he was staring at me as I walked away and said, "She's really 'owning' this isn't she." From then on, he had to relearn being my friend. He had to figure out what how to interact with this new person. He told me once that he starting treating more like his sister. I am pretty proud of him for sticking with me. I am thankful for him helping to get me to 'own' it, in my earlier stages.

[ChrissyRyan]

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on December 08, 2018, 08:26:13 am

I do wonder though if it is too much to expect a male buddy to continue to hang out with you as much or in all the same ways when you are a woman though, even though he is supportive of you as a woman.  The relationship seems like it would change after you transition because woman and man social interaction dynamics are not the same as guy and guy friendships, or woman and woman friendships.  At least you did not lose a friend and have a supporter.  The relationship would likely change. But perhaps it should, as you are woman.

When we transition, we certainly have to expect change.

Chrissy

I was 'best man' (funny huh) at my friend's wedding. He is a very macho type and his values are very stuck in the Andy Griffith Show era. He had two brothers but always called me his  real brother because we were closer. He confided in me. When I came out, based on the above, I figured he was gone for sure. Surprisingly, he was very supportive at first. He was too supportive sometimes, saying things too loudly like, "I'm outnumbered at this table being the only guy." I rolled my eyes, but appreciated his effort. As time went on, I could see he was struggling, becoming more uncomfortable with me. Of course, I would blurt out the old line, "Well, I'm still the same person." He replied, "No you aren't." I was convinced he was wacky until I came to realize he was right. If my whole contention of being a woman was correct (hint, it is) then in his eyes, I was not the same person at all. Finally, we were out at a restaurant and I excused myself to go to the ladies room. My partner said, he was staring at me as I walked away and said, "She's really 'owning' this isn't she." From then on, he had to relearn being my friend. He had to figure out what how to interact with this new person. He told me once that he starting treating more like his sister. I am pretty proud of him for sticking with me. I am thankful for him helping to get me to 'own' it, in my earlier stages.

Yes.  He has stuck with you then, and you now.  Nice to hear.

Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

I do keep thinking about this.  There is a lot that will change and some things that will likely stay about the same.   

We certainly have to expect change.

Chrissy

[Astxl]

This question is like when people think that having the sex reassignment will be other someone else, and it's really just a physical change, but you'll still be the same person.

The rest of the changes are because of you, because the human is changing.

[Linde]

I just talked to the wife of a male friend (they are actually both my friends), and she though that Jerod would be concerned about how to talk to me.  She wondered, if I can still talk about tractors, combines and other farm equipment with him.  I ensured her that i am still crying because I had to give my wonderful John Deere up upon moving to Florida.  I had lots of land up north and had a John Deere 2327 and a Bobcat, and my friend had a hobby farm and we were always talking about farm equipment.
I told her that my body changed, but not my interests, and that i still like to swing a wrench!
It is the little understanding people have about transgender, they think we not only changed our body, but we also got a new brain installed into that new body!  I have not changed any of my interests, I still hate housework and dish washing, and I am pretty sure that I will hate those things until I die!

[ChrissyRyan]

Thank you ladies for all of your comments on this thread.

Chrissy

[Dana Thompson]

I'm new to my transition. I used to play basketball in the morning before work. We would need to shower in a locker room all together in the open and as I've started to accept myself as a women, I honestly started to feel really uncomfortable with that situation. As I started to develop small amounts of breast tissue I decided that I was done doing that particular activity. I did really enjoy it too.


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[christinej78]

I'm new to my transition. I used to play basketball in the morning before work. We would need to shower in a locker room all together in the open and as I've started to accept myself as a women, I honestly started to feel really uncomfortable with that situation. As I started to develop small amounts of breast tissue I decided that I was done doing that particular activity. I did really enjoy it too.


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Hi Dana,                            24 January 2019

Why give up what you like to do; find a few ladies that like to play basketball and play with them. Should be much more fun than playing with a bunch of men. The shower thing might be a problem until you are well along in your transition.

Best Always, Love
Christine

[CynthiaAnn]

The relationship would likely change. But perhaps it should, as you are woman.

When we transition, we certainly have to expect change.

Chrissy

Yes, this was an interesting thread to read, I can relate to this thought above, when I transitioned within a band as the bass player I initially joined as my old self. 2 of the members of the band accepted me and were fine as I came out, but the lead singer had a hard time with my changes, and we still went out and gigged for more than a year after I came out, but the relationship definitely changed as moved further into transition. I eventually had to leave the band because our working relationship had gone toxic. This would be one friend that could not transition with me, and I had to let it go...

So yes, when we transition expect relationships and your interests to change, I guess it's part of living as we move into new phases. I have more of an interest in crafts, baking, sewing now, and maintaining my physical health. Less interest in having to fix my car, I'll gladly pay the friendly repair man these days 

My everyday life is better in many ways, I still work, I still play music, I have different relationships today, mostly with women.

Cynthia -