Have you thought how your everyday life will change or not as you transition?

[ChrissyRyan]

When you as a mtf transition, you may have your body more appropriately reflect your gender.
You may gradually increase your expression of your female gender in your overall appearance, voice, mannerisms, and so on.  You may have differences in relationships, including family, and new relationships. 

There is a lot to our everyday lives, have you considered what will change in your life?  I am not talking about the more obvious gender related things such as using makeup, or wearing feminine attire instead of male clothing, overall female grooming, or perhaps now having to see an endocrinologist, or get blood tests because of mtf HRT.

But will you continue, reduce, or stop doing things you have been doing all of your life, because they may be perceived by some as being too "manly" even if you really like these activities?  Not that females do not like doing some of these things, but they are often more attributed to being things more guys prefer to do as compared to women.

Or, to look at it another way, look at what you do day in and day out.  What activities, outside of work, eating, and housekeeping, will you continue to do, not do as much, or stop doing?  Why? 

What would you start doing?   Why?   Plus, your social interaction is likely to change.

Perhaps you enjoy reading, watching shows, playing video games, learning, and so on.
Is it reasonable to think that you will likely keep on doing most of those activities after transition? 

I pose all of this because we as mtfs will be or are transitioning, but have we truly considered how much or how little our everyday lives will change, or should change?  This is something that seems worthy to think about.

Chrissy

[Kylo]

Not MTF but I still have all the same habits I used to have. Well except for the amount of time I spend in the bathroom. I've cut the time down significantly but it's still a matter of taking my sweet-ass time in there till I look presentable, and nobody's gonna tell me to get out before I'm done. Personal hygiene/a bit of grooming is srs business in my book and always will be.

How much you change, is it up to you or people around you? Depends, I guess.

I'm more active than I used to be, that's down to hormones. I get out and do more things to disperse the restless energy. I'm prone to laziness in my spare time, but it's a compulsion to get out now.

Otherwise, not much of life has changed. More sociable, maybe. A bit.

[Sabrina Rei]

Well you're likely going to socialize with the other side and it will open doors to new experiences. It's not that you won't still be interested in the stuff you used to be, it's that you may need to make room for these new adventures and lose some of the old ones on the way.

[IAmM]

All life is change, we travel from one part of our life to the next, letting go of things and picking up new stuff as we go along. Do you miss making mud pies, rolling down a hill over and over until getting dizzy becomes getting sick or playing cat's cradle for an hour or more?  Maybe a little.

I would hope that most of us are not changing what we like because it would be perceived as too manly but if so, how bad would that be? People do this all the time, we make choices based on who we want to be and live that life. Isn't that what making choices is about, not just gender presentation but all choices?

Change is the point of transition isn't it?

Will we change? Probable to some extent depending on how far off we are when we start to where we want to be. I think we transition to be more ourselves not less.

Our relationships and interactions will change, I cannot say how much for everyone else but mine changed completely but that was just me. It was hard at first because I was all alone but I have new and better friends now. My family I think is gone forever but we were not close to begin with. The guy friends that I had that were good to me throughout transition, even those friendships became distant. It was happening slowly anyway after I stopped trying to be a guy, long before I even knew transitioning was possible. I could see bonds dissolving and knew that was okay, we never had much in common. Looking back it is hard to believe how hard I had to work to fit in, I guess anything becomes normal if you do it long enough.

Everything else? I am not sure. I don't enjoy reading as much as I used to though since going more and more from fiction to nonfiction I have been getting more into it. I still love to cook. I still clean like a madwoman when I am angry. I still watch the same movies, just more open about some of them.

Actually I don't think that I have changed much at all except that I am far more open and honest about my likes and dislikes now. My presentation has changed but it has just made my interactions with other people easier, more natural.

My guess it that for all of us some things will become more important and some things less, is that a bad thing? If the change is in line with who we are, will we even care?

[sarahc]

Hmmmm...most of my outside activities like tennis, golf, running, and involvement in community groups are done by both men and women, so I don't really see any change in my interests. I'd say the biggest change I'm hopeful for is being able to develop deeper friendships with women and socializing with female friends. Not only is this my biggest hope, but it's also my biggest fear because being able to do the things I want to do  in a social setting (tennis, golf, etc.) will require women accepting me as a woman, and I so hope they do accept me.

Oh, and I'll probably be a lot more interested in clothes

[Lynne]

I'll still do the things I've done before, I'll just look better while doing them
I'm a geek tinkerer who likes extreme sports and cars(among a million other things). These things caused me to doubt myself a decade ago but nowadays I don't feel that my hobbies and interests should define my gender.

Just a few weeks ago I put the winter wheels on my car wearing high heel wedge boots and a figure hugging coat and it did not feel weird at all, just a girl preparing her car for the winter. I also rode my trials bike as a female and it was great.

My interactions with people will improve probably as hopefully I'll be able to improve my voice to a point where I'll be more comfortable using it in public so I'll be happy to chit-chat with others.

[SonadoraXVX]

Oh, it'll be a riot with me. Brunette Indian shapely chick/lady fixing her 4x4, trucks and cars by herself, shooting her tricked out, ultra long range hunting rifle(338 LM), some welding, machine, carpentry, manly fixing around the house stuff, while being low pro AND doing womanly things with my wife?(what no husband?, lol).

New chapter in my life, waiting to see how that plays out.

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[Colleen_definitely]

I found that my interests didn't change quite as much as I thought I would.  I've always been interested in the household arts, but I still like to work on machinery, shoot, gunsmith, weld, and things like that.  I still read a lot, still hate watching TV, but I suppose I complain more when I break a nail nowadays. 

Some people have the idea in their heads that when they transition they cannot possibly continue taking any interest in something often viewed as manly/womanly.  I say that's complete crap.  People like guys who can bake a perfect cake just as much as they like a girl who can adjust the valves on an engine.

My mannerisms have of course changed to suit me, I don't speak in a voice that makes me cringe any more, and I'm a much happier person for it.  I didn't have to throw everything away to do it either.

[ChrissyRyan]

I suppose one way to look at this "Have you thought how your everyday life will change or not as you transition?" is that some things you can continue to do, other things would be harder or not possible to continue to do, and still other things will become easier to start or continue to do.

I suppose it would most likely not be possible to continue playing in a men's softball league as a woman, unless the league became co-ed or it is a Title IX situation in the college sports area.  That seems like a reasonable consequence of transitioning, but we can play on a women's team or in a co-ed league.

Likewise it would be far easier as a woman to play on a woman's team.  This simply makes sense.

Things you do primarily alone, such as hobbies, should be able to be continued.

I do wonder though if it is too much to expect a male buddy to continue to hang out with you as much or in all the same ways when you are a woman though, even though he is supportive of you as a woman.  The relationship seems like it would change after you transition because woman and man social interaction dynamics are not the same as guy and guy friendships, or woman and woman friendships.  At least you did not lose a friend and have a supporter.  The relationship would likely change. But perhaps it should, as you are woman.

When we transition, we certainly have to expect change.

Chrissy

[Cheaney]

The things that are changing in my life are doing so because I'm changing from being allowed to be myself. Like being more social and talking with people. My actual likes/dislikes aren't changing much. Like I still love watching all the sports like I used to and coaching football/baseball/softball.


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[KathyLauren]

Most of my life has not changed.  I feel more free to be myself, so for example, I enjoy not having to sit in exile at the men's end of the table at the weekly community kaffeeklatsch.  I still play in the concert band, and I still love to do astrophotography.

I have found that my patience for "guy stuff" has decreased.  When I built the observatory for my astrophotography, I figured that I could do a better job of designing and building the control system if I did it myself.  It mostly works, but I ran into a few glitches, and was all set to do some redesigning of the offending components.  Then I started HRT.  Now, I find that, even though having the control system fully functional would help my hobby immeasurably (not having to sit outside in the cold, for one thing!), I just can't work up the motivation to work on it.

[Linde]

, I just can't work up the motivation to work on it.

I found this, too!  I need to re-weld a bracket on y garden tractor, and I was able to find a million reasons not to do this!  It is so much easier to play the poor old woman to the young neighbor, and convince him to mow my lawn for a freindly "thank you".

That would not have happened before I started the official transition.  Not having the tractor fixed would have driven me nts!

[ChrissyRyan]

I found this, too!  I need to re-weld a bracket on y garden tractor, and I was able to find a million reasons not to do this!  It is so much easier to play the poor old woman to the young neighbor, and convince him to mow my lawn for a freindly "thank you".

That would not have happened before I started the official transition.  Not having the tractor fixed would have driven me nts!

Well maybe if you thought how much you might have to pay someone to fix it correctly and to perhaps have to haul the garden tractor back and forth between the repair shop, and you really need the bracket on the garden tractor fixed, you might have second thoughts!  But I hear what you are saying!   

Chrissy

[sarahc]

I do wonder though if it is too much to expect a male buddy to continue to hang out with you as much or in all the same ways when you are a woman though, even though he is supportive of you as a woman.  The relationship seems like it would change after you transition because woman and man social interaction dynamics are not the same as guy and guy friendships, or woman and woman friendships.  At least you did not lose a friend and have a supporter.  The relationship would likely change. But perhaps it should, as you are woman.

When we transition, we certainly have to expect change.

Chrissy

I do NOT expect to keep most of my relationships with guy friends after I come out to them. I have had several tight bro friends throughout my life, but unfortunately those are not going to survive my transition...it's just going to be to weird for both me and them, so I agree that the relationship will definitely change when I become a woman. None of these friendship losses is going to be crippling, but they will be unfortunate. I've had a lot of good times with those guys. It's one of the many sacrifices I'm making for transitioning.

[Cheaney]

I have noticed there being things that I would have just tackled/finished that I now don't have the motivation for.

As for the conversations/friends, I still talk sports/movies/things I enjoy with men. But the conversation has changed for me. I have no care for keeping male street cred like before. And I'm realizing that I wasn't allowing my true opinions out. And that my conversations with women are so much more easier for me. They give me life and energy in ways that I've never experienced before. I don't think I won't have male friends going forward. I still have a best friend that I'll stay close to. I couldn't leave that friendship after he shows how much he's stuck by me. I just prefer talking to women now.


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[Linde]

Well maybe if you thought how much you might have to pay someone to fix it correctly and to perhaps have to haul the garden tractor back and forth between the repair shop, and you really need the bracket on the garden tractor fixed, you might have second thoughts!  But I hear what you are saying!   

Chrissy

You have to even consider that I am a pretty good welder and have a very nice wire welder sitting in my shop.  It just requires doing it, but I mange to convince myself every day new that it can wait.  The current reason for procrastinating is that my neighbor mowed my yard yesterday, while is wife helped me to shop for clothing items! 

[ChrissyRyan]

You have to even consider that I am a pretty good welder and have a very nice wire welder sitting in my shop.  It just requires doing it, but I mange to convince myself every day new that it can wait.  The current reason for procrastinating is that my neighbor wowed my yard yesterday, while is wife helped me to shop for clothing items! 

Someone told me that he was going to put an end to his procrastination, but he decided to put that off a little longer.

Chrissy

[Linde]

Someone told me that he was going to put an end to his procrastination, but he decided to put that off a little longer.

Chrissy

I have a few projects, I need to work on or finish.  I am just pretty listless currently, do do anything really.  It might be a slight version of depression, I don't know for sure!
I am not sleeping well lately either.  All of this might be a sign of a light depression,  and I have to pull myself out of it!

[CindyLouFromCO]

This is a good topic I think.  I have known girls that quit doing things they enjoyed in the past pre transition.  I never understood why, except that the people  they did things with in the past are no longer accepting of that new girl.

For me my issue was always not doing so called female hobbies and activities because I wanted to keep up pretending to be male.

Once I started transition I did continue to do my old hobbies as none were overly masculine.  I still follow soccer and hockey.  I know plenty of cis girls that go to the games and have season tickets to these events.

I have become more active post transition because I care more about my body and health I guess.  However I'm in my mid 40's and I'm also trying to turn back the clock or pause it.

A few years after transition I started dating.  Now I live with my boyfriend.  He is the typical guy expecting me to do the house stuff and etc..  That is new to me, but I do enjoy it now.  I love to bake using keto baking methods.

So yes things have changed, but I think in a positive way for me.

 

[ChrissyRyan]

This is a good topic I think.  I have known girls that quit doing things they enjoyed in the past pre transition.  I never understood why, except that the people  they did things with in the past are no longer accepting of that new girl.

For me my issue was always not doing so called female hobbies and activities because I wanted to keep up pretending to be male.

Once I started transition I did continue to do my old hobbies as none were overly masculine.  I still follow soccer and hockey.  I know plenty of cis girls that go to the games and have season tickets to these events.

I have become more active post transition because I care more about my body and health I guess.  However I'm in my mid 40's and I'm also trying to turn back the clock or pause it.

A few years after transition I started dating.  Now I live with my boyfriend.  He is the typical guy expecting me to do the house stuff and etc..  That is new to me, but I do enjoy it now.  I love to bake using keto baking methods.

So yes things have changed, but I think in a positive way for me.

This sounds positive.  Good for you!

Chrissy