I want my kids to stop calling me Dad

[Chloe2017]

Hi everyone,
I know i'm not here much but i'm often in chat. I wanted some options for a new title. I don't fit the name Dad anymore. Some people identify me as my kids Mum, but I don't want that title,  they have a Mum.
My six year old has been known to laugh and say 'he's not my mum,  that's my Dad.'

I am teaching him that i'm transitioning and that it's a positive thing for me,  but i'm still carrying the Dad title. What should I be using.

All thoughts greatly appreciated.

Regards,
Chloe

[krobinson103]

My 7 year old calls me Dama (dad mum). It doesn't take her title but doesn't sound male. Or she just calls me Dad and thats.... ok.

[Megan.]

My kids (7 & 4) call me Dad - that's what they want to call me. I've talked with them about alternatives, but they clearly stated that they want to use that name for me.

They call me Dad out in public, and while not ideal, I've not had any issues in restaurants, soft-play centres or play areas.

When they are older and more aware they may well drive a change themselves, but until then they can call me Dad,  because I am and always will be [emoji4]. X

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[Devlyn]

This topic came up a short time ago, here's a link to that discussion.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,240484.0.html

Good luck resolving this.

Hugs, Devlyn

[jill610]

My kids (7 & 4) call me Dad - that's what they want to call me. I've talked with them about alternatives, but they clearly stated that they want to use that name for me.

They call me Dad out in public, and while not ideal, I've not had any issues in restaurants, soft-play centres or play areas.

When they are older and more aware they may well drive a change themselves, but until then they can call me Dad,  because I am and always will be [emoji4]. X

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My kids were 4 and 8 when I started transitioning and did the same. It took a while, practice and many trips to a child therapist (transition+divorce) but they now call me Maddie (son) or mom (daughter) and get upset when I get misgendered or called dad. I do not think a 4 or 8 year old knows enough to care other than that's what they know you as.

It will help them at school as they get older to not use dad as that has a number of connotations that go with it as they get more involved in activities. As far as the school knows, my kids have two moms.

[LizK]

My girls still call me Dad but that is only privately In public they call me Lizzy or Liz Beth as an affectionate name

I agree I can't and won't ever be Mum..simply because it's not true. Maybe find a name variation of your current name,,,


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[Nikkimn]

My girls call me Momma Nikki and they call their biological mother Momma Jacki. I felt like we should both be equal parents. I've told them  I still will always be their dad but they laugh and say girls can't be dads you're one of my moms!


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[warlockmaker]

I am my childrens dad, it is not a name but a description of who we are in the family structure. Being called dad by my 4 children from 35yrs old to 7 years is normal, and I am proud of being their dad.  I have no hangups on being who I am and they continue to call me dad anywhere anytime they plase. Its not fair to children to demand your being called by another name.

This also reflects my liberal attitude of use of gender pronouns, I not hung up on this, are you?

[Chloe2017]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. The few times i've asked my Son what he wants to call me, he couldn't answer except with other people's names. Cute but not realistic. I think the no pressure approach is best for now. Let them call me Dad and when they're ready to change it,  let them drive the decision.

Thank you again,
Chloe

[barbie]

I have never asked anybody to call me as a specific noun or pronoun. I believe it is not my right, but theirs, and I mostly do not care so much about whatever I am called, even if it is a derogatory term.

My kids and wife always call me as dad (in Korean, kids and wives mostly use the same noun 'appa' for their dad and husband). Yes. I remember that my wife repeatedly and annoyingly called me as dad in a supermarket when I were wearing a miniskirt, which was very rare at that time. I was perplexed and thought she might intentionally do it. But I did not say anything to her. It is her right, not mine. My little daughter sometimes playfully calls me as mom.

Sometimes, some people ask me what pronoun I prefer to be called. Especially people from Canada ask it, adding that they have been educated regarding transgender. Only when people ask it, I reply that I prefer 'she'.

My eldest son, at age 22, is very thoughtful, and I remember that he called me as 'that person' when ordering food for me at a restaurant in Los Angeles a few years ago.

barbie~~