On my third day of serious down time ... hmm, let me back up a bit ....
Monday: by 8 am I had cleaned off all my makeup, tied my hair back, and stuffed it into the collar of my shirt. Walk fast and no one will stop you to talk
Tuesday: I didn't bother with makeup at all, I didn't shave, I kept my baggy overshirt on all day
Wednesday, today: Still no make-up, still didn't shave. My face is a brillo pad.
... to continue ... today started like the other two. Then, a difference. As I was walking towards a stairwell, one of the gals stopped me and asked, "How are you doing, are you OK?" My normal reply is a one of, "OK","I'm Fine", "Great". I started to say, "I'm good" and stopped mid word, looked at her and said, "Not so good".
Immediate commiseration and a big hug (had to pull back lest I break down, and I told her so). She asked a few questions about why, what's wrong etc. Which led up to her asking, "Want to do lunch? We can sit and chat". At first I stumbled a bit with .. No, I'm not sure, etc. then I realized, I really wanted to do it. She was reaching out. Old me would not have considered it at all. I knew I had to.
Well, we ended up sitting outside at a picnic table, just the two of us, chatting a bit about different things, some (ok, a lot) about me and what I'm going through, not all of it though. Some was just general chat. More hugs as we separated to get back to work.
I realized as I went back to my desk that I no longer felt down. I felt pretty good.
I have a great family, a great wife, I have no complaints. Sometimes, though, you need someone outside to acknowledge you, to see you. Someone with no vested interest anything else other than you being you.
Part of my down was feeling alone. Yes this is self-inflicted. there are several gals here at work that care. All I have to do is reach out even if it's just to say, "Hi".
It was a good lunch
