Thanks Cindy, Jane & Natalie for your input. It definitely helps to figure out my own "map" on this journey.
Hi Kathy: I am definitely a "tweener", currently stuck between the two genders trying to figure out my peace. I totally understand the desire to have the right equipment but I am way early in this process. The good news for me, at least, was that after my initial post I took more time and patience and got my current equipment to work. So, yay!
Hi Jessica: fortunately (?) my wife and I have not had active sex in years so I am not depriving her of anything.
Hugs to all,
Emma