What to wear when first coming out as trans and where to shop?

[Vixy]

Let me start by saying I'm really sorry if this is posted in the wrong section! It seemed the right place but I couldn't really find a specific section to clothing!!!)

Hiya everyone! My name's Vixy and I've been going through a ton lately, after years of denying it and at least 2-3 mental breakdowns I finally came out as mtf-trans a few months ago, talked to a therapist for a while, and now I'm just trying to find out if my temp job is keeping me or not, if they are then I'm going to be starting HRT the month after that!

Today however I was wanting to look into changing up some of (ok like...80% of...) my wardrobe. I've bought tighter fitting pants and a few sweat pants, but with Summer coming, I wanted to look into different tops (maybe bottoms, but I don't really want to wear dresses or skirts until I'm starting HRT). I've browsed a bunch of topics of people asking similar questions but alot of them get dresses, skirts, or bras as their main responses. I want to look into more feminine looking tops that aren't dresses, my preferred would actually be like a girly tomboy, that was always my favorite look for guys OR girls <3 But I not only have no idea what I should be looking at to even start, I don't even know where I would go to buy them if I did. I like Old Navy, Kohls, and Ross, but I don't want to go there with no idea what I'm looking for, spend hours looking, and head home empty handed.

If anyone has any suggestions on what could portray a much more feminine vibe without just wearing a dress, I would love the help more than I could begin to describe! I have one rather feminine sweater I wore in the summer and I absolutely loved how it felt to wear, but now it's like almost 90 outside and it's only going to get hotter.

Again I want to thank anyone who has any tips or suggestions!!!

[ChrissyRyan]

A nice violet or fuchsia T shirt, maybe with flowers, along with dark blue jeans can look good, and it is simple.

You can look at clothing displays at stores and outfits shown online for many ideas.  The tomboy looks you prefer others to wear sound like what you would prefer to wear.  Maybe a baseball cap that allows you to have a ponytail hang out of it?  If you do not have long hair, you can even buy baseball caps with ponytail hair built-in!

Others will come up with better ideas I am sure.  For cool days, a pink hoodie and blue jeans!

Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

Vixy,


The official welcoming crew will arrive shortly!  In the meantime, welcome!   


Chrissy

[Vixy]

I'll definitely keep that in mind! I'm actually trying to grow my hair out in a ponytail right now. It's shorter that I'd like but I've been tying it back in a headband lately. I also just bought I little jewelry so was thinking it would be neat if I could find some tighter fitting t-shirts with a deeper cut so the necklace isn't covered.
Thanks ^_^
(And thanks for the welcome c: )

[Maid Marion]

I'd suggest the discount racks at Kohl's.  Really good discounts.  Got a sweater for just $5..60 (80% of plus 30% coupon!)  You  can try stuff on.  You want cheap because your body will change.  And it is likely that you style will as well.

[Vixy]

I was thinking of looking at Kohls later today! thanks 🙂

[ChrissyRyan]

I was thinking of looking at Kohls later today! thanks

That is a good place to shop.  They have frequent sales and promos.
I wait until items go on sale, many do. 

Chrissy

[Vixy]

That is a good place to shop.  They have frequent sales and promos.
I wait until items go on sale, many do. 

Chrissy

I know they do the whole "Kohls Cash" thing, are there online coupons too?

[ChrissyRyan]

I know they do the whole "Kohls Cash" thing, are there online coupons too?

I get emails from them everyday with specials or ads but no coupons per se.  The Kohls's cash is great, although it is not always available and they have expiration dates.  The emails make you aware of the discounts in store and online.  If you also join their free loyalty program, you get bonus cash back.  See their Web site for details.

Chrissy

[AnneK]

Back when I was into full cross dressing, much of my wardrobe came from used clothing stores.  I also bought new.

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Vixy!

Welcome to Susan's Place.  We normally try to welcome new members right away.  Sorry we missed you yesterday.

The best way to ease into a more anrgogynous look is to start shopping on the women's side of the aisle.  Even clothes that are inherently androgynous like T-shirts or jeans have a slightly different cut if they are intended for women. 

Just pick out clothes that you think you could get away with wearing, depending on how daring you feel.  You might wear a different outfit to a support group or therapist than you would for shopping at the mall, so having a variety makes it easier.

A little bit of jewelry helps.  Get your ears pierced.  Lots of guys wear earrings, so you would not be automatically outing yourself.  I wear simple silver studs all the time, and it is amazing how feminizing they can be.  I started wearing them six months before I came out, and no one at the quite macho fire department said a word.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum to tell the members about yourself.  Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

Things that you should read

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[AnneK]

Get your ears pierced.

I agree.  I had mine done 25 years ago, shortly after I started cross dressing.  I wear gold studs all the time and the few comments I've had have been favourable.

[Maid Marion]

If you want to blend in I think it is easier if you shop at Department Stores, as the fashions are current.  There are just too many choices at thrift stores, but they are certainly an option if you are on a tight budget.  As a rule, the more it costs the better the service.  High end stores may even include alterations and  advice on what to wear.

[Anne Blake]

I also am a fan of your suggestion of Old Navy. They usually have a wide selection of casual stuff on sale. A couple of cute v neck or scoop neck t's and some comfortable denims fit the bill well. Even early on I found Maurice's, Old Navy, NY & company had no problem with a poorly passing but respectful trans woman using their fitting rooms. In most cases, particularly at Maurice's, they can help you put together a look that meets your wants.....and they have always made it fun. By the way, if you can find a cis girlfriend to take along you will find out just how much fun shopping can be.

Good luck and enjoy, this is part of the journey!

Tia Anne

[Lyric]

I think the worst (and most expensive) thing you can do when starting out with this stuff is to just go randomly shopping. It's so easy to spot a cute top or pair of shoes then buy them and realize they don't go with anything else you want to wear. Make a plan and stick to it. Take a full length photo of yourself, put it on the computer, then compare your figure to women in pictures you find online. Searching for "body types" might help. Know if you are long or short waisted, thin hipped, wide hipped or whatever. Most of us have figure factors we need to emphasize or de-emphasize. There's lots of info around on them all.

If nothing else, do a Google Image search of "street style" you'll see hundreds of great looks. Pick a few you like, save the images and list what types of items you'd need to purchase to emulate them. You might even take the images along on your phone while shopping at the store. I keep to a wardrobe of pretty simple classic components with just the occasional added emphatic piece. Anyway, find what you like first, then shop only for that.

[jkredman]

I started with Kohls.

I've also found some very nice Gloria Vanderbilt at Costco.

One thing to consider is how your weight may change.  I'm losing weight overall, and after 5 months of HRT my shape is changing. 

My first 2 pairs of Vera Wang jeans are now too big, and my first bras are too small. 

Just be aware.

That said, I've found a lot of really cool blouses and tops.  It's fun shopping for clothes that I look good in.

Kate


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[Shay9999]

I started with Target and Amazon. I was working at a software company then and had disposable cash so I kind of just bought whatever I thought would look nice and then tried them all on for a day. I still have 2-3 dresses I don't wear but I look back on it like, "Oh I remember that phase."

My suggestion for tomboy look is, as you already started, getting those tight jeans. As for shirts, I have two recommendations. Really big t-shirts draped over you look like boyfriend tees, and that, at least to me, looks very feminine (even if you're not interested in men whatsoever, like if you're hella gay like me, the boyfriend tees to me looks feminine). Another big one is just making sure you get a woman's shirt instead of unisex. I have a bunch of women's shirts that really show off my figure and make me look a lot more feminine.

Quick tips:
Don't do short skirts or short shorts right away. Can lead to some awkward situations.
Always wear panties/underwear, and if you're wearing something more revealing (skirt/dress), wear a slip or leggings.
Leggings aren't pants. I'm sorry but no.
If you're bra shopping, get something really cheap that fits. As your breasts grow you'll go through bras like crazy. I suggest getting sized first so you can get your number, and then get a sports bra that will comfortably fit you from your number, A to B. Then just get more sports bras over the years of development. The route I took was more about the cute bras, and they were nice, but I can't fit into any of them anymore.

Also, just do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Like seriously, you're in charge of your body. Take our suggestions or leave them, whatever you do in the end, just make sure you're doing what you want 🙂