I wonder if those without fetishes simply haven't allowed themselves to think about that part.. or don't consider it a kink lol.
I mean i've noticed that it's taken nearly 10 years of marriage for my husband and I to reach a point where we feel confident and comfortable enough experimenting. It's not that things got stale, more that we hit a point where we felt comfortable enough to bring up and indulge those deep down never spoken of before fantasies and it's been great but also, in a way, not so great for my dysphoria because the more I learned about penises, the more I wanted one lol.
I mean previously I sort of ignored getting too close to them due to teen trauma relating to being forced to go down on a guy against my will (he was such a douchebag) so it sort of left me not really enjoying oral sex at all, it brought back unpleasant memories so I avoided it.
but over the years I suppose i've come to trust my husband so much that now it's like.. I want to give him that.
Also I admit, I get a kick out of making him squirm <_<
bwhaha.
tmi?
But it's taken a long time for me to get over that trauma to a point where I could perform certain acts without feeling sick and angry and upset.
Problem is, as I get over that, the more I start sort of uh... fixating on the penis and how much fun they are.
Oops.
I mean apparently this is wierd but I actually find penises kinda adorable. In that so ugly they're cute kinda way. *snort* I find them endearing and amusing. They make me smile.
Vaginas on the other hand, sort of scare me. It's like a big ol' cave of mystery and it freaks me right on out.
but I think that's more my dysphoria talking than anything else. I mean I AM attracted to women, just not... that bit of them so much.
because ultimately I don't mind PIV sex, it can be quite enjoyable. I mean I prefer external stimulation because 90% of my sensation is clit stimulation and I suffer from a lot of issues internally that make penetration uncomfortable bordering on actually painful depending on where in my cycle I am but I enjoy the submission and I get more physically out of PIV than anal due to you know, biology. It's easier to position myself to get external stimulation if my partner is a bit further forward (as in, penetrating the first hole).
So I can sort of detatch enough to imagine it's the other hole and that works pretty well.
But this means that i'm sort of on the fence about bottom surgery because I have little desire to stand to pee (I dunno, I like sitting down and daydreaming or reading or just messing about on my phone haha, i'm lazy. Also I have a very nervous bladder so I really struggle to get flow going if i'm not totally and completely comfortable and it's SO ANNOYING) but I do have this massive desire to penetrate my partner among other things.
Thing is, ultimately, the enlarged growth from T should at least give me something to work with. Maybe not enough for actual penetration but enough to play with a little more.
And ultimately, unless I can get me a fully working regular sized dick with surgery, I don't see the point. Peniplasty has implants and those just ... no thanks. Don't appeal to me at all. I want a biologically working dick, not a bionic one. Meta, beyond giving me some balls and repositioning the urethra what does it really add that T growth doesn't give you anyway? (no genuinely, does it give you anything more to work with? It doesn't look like it does)
So until we figure out a way to make erectile tissue in a lab and use that for a graft, i'll stick with two holes and a tiny psudo penis. (hey, two holes are better than one right? *snort*)
Given I don't have a prostate, losing the ability to have some internal pleasure would be disappointing I think.
I mean the moment we get the technology for a cis-like dick, well, my thoughts on bottom might change rapidly. But alas, we aren't there yet.
Turning an innie into an outie is very difficult.
What a shame.
Lexi, I might have an answer for your question about why some women react to anal the same as vaginal! Clit stimulation! If you're pressing your pelvis against that bit of her (which is often the case if she's on her back, or if she's on her front and has something under her that works too) then you'll rub against the clit which feels very very good. Female anatomy doesn't really seem to give us anything good INSIDE the butt region, but if you can do external stimulation then you can still get off from it. Meanwhile the vagina has two internal spots, the G spot and another one further back near the very back wall of the vagina which you can access if she props her butt up with a pillow and you go deep. The G spot on the other hand is very shallow, more like two knuckles deep. To get at it you sort of have to beckon and a penis is NOT gonna hit that easily at all. It usually will just go straight past that.
So actually a lot of cis women or transmen have the same problem with vaginal sex, it's just pressure becuase the dick isn't hitting either spot anyway.
I've had uh.. 4 male sexual partners in my life? One was hung like a horse and all he ever hit was my cervix which is HORRIBLY painful. One was teensy tiny and couldn't hit anything to save his damn life so I had to get on top and take over to get anything out of it (poor guy, he was useless in bed) and the other two were far more normal but only really husband has managed to achieve anything that inspiring. Go him? And honestly, unsatisfying sex is nothing new to those with female anatomy.
I've read that actually the vast majority of women climax from clit stimulation predominantly, it's the easier bit to stimulate. If you're having trouble getting pressure on it, try sticking a pillow under your butt and angling yourself so that front part of your pelvis smooshes against his pelvic bone. IF you can tolerate having pressure on that part of you.
Experiment anyway, you might find a position that hits the right spot for you. As you won't have those two internal spots, external or prostate stimulation is probably the best bet. But hey, play around, have some fun, figure out what feels best! that's half the fun isn't it?
I uh... might know way too much about male and female anatomy huh? <_< I got a bit fixated on it a while back and really curious about how everything worked and where everything was heh.
It was fun.
Biology is weird and of course everyone is different. Some people LOVE having certain bits touched, others find it overwhelming (I get electric teeth if my nipples are played with for example. Sounds wierd but it's like this static charge across my teeth and into my jaw and I HATE it and it's super offputting so the boobs are off limits, even if I didn't hate the dang things)
With sex, ultimately, cis or trans, you gotta just play around, experiment, touch one another and figure out what feels good and what doesn't work. Take it slow, have some fun with it, explore one another's body. It's really fun and you might just find out they like being touched somewhere you never even considered touching before.
I have zero time for unsatisfying sex these days. I just nope. i'm too old to be having bad sex. I won't stand for it.
