Quote from: Susan on August 17, 2025, 08:24:05 AMI'm really glad you're here sharing your expereinces with the other parents who are reading what you write, and I've added you to the "Significant Other" member group so other parents and allies can readily find your posts and connect with your perspective. Your philosophical insights carry extra weight because they're forged in real struggle. The combination you describe—seeking justice while practicing imperfect self-care—isn't just good advice; it's how people like you stay whole while fighting for their families.
Thank you, Susan, I'm flattered, but perhaps you're overestimating me. I don't want to take responsibility for the advice that pops into my head. First and foremost, I write my blog to help myself, to express and pour out what's hidden in my head. In any case, thank you.
Quote from: Lilis on August 17, 2025, 10:00:37 AMCaringWhisper, this really reads like insight forged in fire.
I've always leaned on forgiveness for myself, but I can see how your vision of justice creates a different kind of peace, one rooted in integrity.
I also like what you said about self-love being more about noticing the small positives than trying to achieve some grand, final 'arrival.'
That makes it feel real, human, and possible.
~ Lilis 🌷
Hey, Lilis. By the way, remember when we talked about the shadow side of personality that every person has? Have you ever wondered why people want to appear so perfect? It's a utopia. People don't believe in perfection because even without knowing anything about psychology, they intuitively understand that it's a lie, that it's not a real personality. Everyone tries to deceive their friends, everyone knows that they know about deception, but they still put on the masks of perfect and proper puritans. I don't understand people like that.
I don't want to be "strong," I don't want to be called a "strong woman." Strength can only be understood in comparison to weakness. A strong person either physically or morally defeats another weak person, or is capable of an act that many are not capable of. Thus, by trying to become strong, we prove something to someone else, which means we live not for ourselves but for others. If we lived our whole lives alone, without knowing any stories about other people, we would know nothing about strength. I forget about the word strength, I don't think about it, I just listen to myself. I like the word peace. The most peaceful state I can describe is from a scene in the original Matrix trilogy, the last film, where the ship emerges from the dark world and Trinity sees a beautiful picture of the sun above the clouds. This is the best state you can feel amid pain and difficulties, it heals, and I don't think there is anything greater. And when you feel this, you feel more alive than ever, more alive than modern images of happiness and success. In this modern race for goals and happiness, you don't live, you just exist. One goal follows another, and in this crazy race, time flies by too quickly. You stop and don't notice how 10 years have passed unnoticed.
I studied stoicism, and here is my critique of stoicism: stoicism is positioned by modern trends as a universal psychological remedy, as a paradigm of thinking capable of nurturing a productive, disciplined personality. And yes, the aesthetic aspect of stoicism is really not bad. It's a beautiful picture. But the devil is in the details: pain is inevitable in this life, as is the presence of evil in the world. Stoicism is silent about the nature of pain and the nature of evil. Stoicism is silent about who or what determines a person's duty. The ancient Greek stoics would say that duty is determined by the gods, while modern stoics would say that duty is based on justice and responsibility, reason and morality, civil norms of society. However, everyone's sense of justice and morality is different, and civic norms are determined by "lions", and to become a "lion", one must abandon morality and a sense of justice. Every person on their path encounters pain that must be overcome, but not every pain must be endured, and certainly not manifestations of evil. Not every pain is necessary, and stoicism does not teach how to deal with it. Stoicism is another big lie. Stoicism acknowledges the existence of God, but God is far from playing the leading role, and since stoic philosophy recognizes the existence of a higher power, something more dangerous fills the vacant place - financial capital, the sterile ideology of success, the cult of dictators, and other such anti-humanistic guidelines. I came across an article in Forbes praising the stoics. The distortion and reversal of higher meanings has become the basis of the main idea of the mainstream media. In general, Stoicism does not suit me, I will go look for something else.
I am trying "beauty meditation," I just listen to the silence in a cozy corner among the flowers. I want to spend my old age in a little house somewhere far from the city, in a small private garden. The constant work of caring for plants will keep me from withering away, and their beauty will help me forget my fears.
