Can’t shake this dysphoria

[Alana1990]

I've been dealing with on/off dysphoria for almost two weeks that I just can't shake. One day I'm happy, the next day my dysphoria gets triggered, and I'm back to feeling uncomfortable in my own body. It's so frustrating that I can't shake this.

[Sephirah]

Can you identify something that sets it off, Alana? Something specific you can put your finger on?

[Alana1990]

Can you identify something that sets it off, Alana? Something specific you can put your finger on?

Today, it was a woman I saw at the mall. The other times, I can't think of anything specific that triggered it.

[Lori Dee]

I've been dealing with on/off dysphoria for almost two weeks that I just can't shake. One day I'm happy, the next day my dysphoria gets triggered, and I'm back to feeling uncomfortable in my own body. It's so frustrating that I can't shake this.

Have you had your hormone levels checked recently?

I was on that rollercoaster for four years before we figured it out. Your hormone levels will fluctuate from day to day, even up and down throughout the day. The way it was explained to me is to imagine your levels are a rollercoaster continuously riding up and down... through a lake. The lake represents your "trigger" level, where you start to feel uncomfortable.

So when the levels are going up, everything seems fine. Coming down, still not bad. Then you hit the water, and you're struggling until the levels rise again. It turned out that I am a "fast metabolizer," meaning that some medications get processed and eliminated very quickly, so they have less time to be effective. That caused my lows to cause anxiety and depression. It is hard to deal with the day-to-day dysphoria when struggling with the rollercoaster ride.

The solution was to increase my dosages so that my levels stayed higher. They still fluctuate up and down, but now they don't go underwater. I still get dysphoria triggered by other things, but I seem to be able to handle it much better.

I am just wondering if this is something that might be affecting your sensitivity to how you are feeling.

[Sephirah]

Today, it was a woman I saw at the mall. The other times, I can't think of anything specific that triggered it.

Like we talked about privately, honey... it's okay to feel envy. I would suggest it isn't Dysphoria, it's just envy... and a lot of women feel that. What you're feeling is... it's what people feel when they see someone they wish they could be. It honestly happens to everyone.

And yes I do remember, because it takes a lot to reach out to someone you don't know. <3

Alana, I know this is a hard thing to do but you just have to be you, sweetie. Someone can look a million dollars, but their personality is like, uh... tree fiddy? Did I get the lingo right?

Point is... Don't try to be other women. Just be the best you that you can be. Being a woman doesn't mean having a figure and gruelling fitness regime to live up to lecherous blokes' standards. It just means being you. And being happy being you.

We come in all shapes and sizes. Men, women, unicorns... all of us. To me, you're Alana, gorgeous, vulnerable girl who isn't afraid to talk about what she's going through. You are beautiful. Trust me you are.

[Alana1990]

Have you had your hormone levels checked recently?

I was on that rollercoaster for four years before we figured it out. Your hormone levels will fluctuate from day to day, even up and down throughout the day. The way it was explained to me is to imagine your levels are a rollercoaster continuously riding up and down... through a lake. The lake represents your "trigger" level, where you start to feel uncomfortable.

So when the levels are going up, everything seems fine. Coming down, still not bad. Then you hit the water, and you're struggling until the levels rise again. It turned out that I am a "fast metabolizer," meaning that some medications get processed and eliminated very quickly, so they have less time to be effective. That caused my lows to cause anxiety and depression. It is hard to deal with the day-to-day dysphoria when struggling with the rollercoaster ride.

The solution was to increase my dosages so that my levels stayed higher. They still fluctuate up and down, but now they don't go underwater. I still get dysphoria triggered by other things, but I seem to be able to handle it much better.

I am just wondering if this is something that might be affecting your sensitivity to how you are feeling.

I haven't been able to start hormones yet. When I had my appointment a few weeks ago, they told me I had to do it in person, and not over telehealth. I'm hoping to start HRT over summer.

[Lori Dee]

I haven't been able to start hormones yet. When I had my appointment a few weeks ago, they told me I had to do it in person, and not over telehealth. I'm hoping to start HRT over summer.

Through the VA, I started mine via TeleHealth. Of course, they did labs and a quick physical exam locally. Hopefully, once you get started, it will even things out for you. I know how bad it can feel, so hang in there until then.

Hugs!

[Annaliese]

I haven't been able to start hormones yet. When I had my appointment a few weeks ago, they told me I had to do it in person, and not over telehealth. I'm hoping to start HRT over summer.

What state do you live in? I was able have an online appointment to obtain my hrt therapy.  Virginia is an informed consent state. Not sure if they all are but anyways. My insuranse paid for my E. I just had to pay for the Initial appointment and a follow up in 3 months, and again 12 months. It was real easy and they were very professional.  They worked with me and were patient.  Also have you tried planned parenthood?
Here is the link if I'm allowed to post
https://www.trueuclinic.com/

[Alana1990]

What state do you live in? I was able have an online appointment to obtain my hrt therapy.  Virginia is an informed consent state. Not sure if they all are but anyways. My insuranse paid for my E. I just had to pay for the Initial appointment and a follow up in 3 months, and again 12 months. It was real easy and they were very professional.  They worked with me and were patient.  Also have you tried planned parenthood?
Here is the link if I'm allowed to post
https://www.trueuclinic.com/

I live in Illinois. It's informed consent here. I'm going to call on Monday on my way to work to see if I can do it over tele health. I can't wait until the summer to
start hormones.


Update: I emailed the doctor about this. Hopefully I will hear back soon.

[Lilis]

Update: I emailed the doctor about this. Hopefully I will hear back soon.

Alana, email seems to work best for me too, hopefully it'll be the same for you.

Fingers crossed you hear back soon!


~ Lilis 💗

[Allie Jayne]

Alana, Dysphoria is the stress from incongruent gender. Anything which reinforces your assigned sex may increase your incongruence and your dysphoria. Anything you can do to affirm your identified gender will reduce dysphoria. It doesn't have to be dressing or HRT, but can be small things like taking a female avatar online or simply imagining yourself in the role you identify with. Making a list of the things you need to do to transition can be very affirming. Try a number of things to see which has the most impact.

Good Luck,

Allie

[Gina P]

Alana,
  For me, it was not so much about what triggered my GD, it was how to pacify it. Usually just dressing up helped. Reading TG stories or fantasies. None of this was very healthy. When I finally started counseling and then transitioning did I start to feel better.
  Be patient. A lifetime of happiness awaits. Even hormones work very slowly. Slow and steady wins the race. Hang in there!

[Maid Marion]

The beauty industry has made a ton of money on women with curly hair wanting straight hair and vice versa.

It may help to study up on how to look better with what you have.

[ChrissyRyan]

Dsyphoria is no fun at all.  I get it less nowadays.
It is a mental challenge when it comes about.  Thankfully it passes.

[Annaliese]

I live in Illinois. It's informed consent here. I'm going to call on Monday on my way to work to see if I can do it over tele health. I can't wait until the summer to
start hormones.


Update: I emailed the doctor about this. Hopefully I will hear back soon.

I did mine by telehealth,  I was more comfortable and relaxed.

[ChrissyRyan]

Alana,
  For me, it was not so much about what triggered my GD, it was how to pacify it. Usually just dressing up helped. Reading TG stories or fantasies. None of this was very healthy. When I finally started counseling and then transitioning did I start to feel better.
  Be patient. A lifetime of happiness awaits. Even hormones work very slowly. Slow and steady wins the race. Hang in there!

I can agree that dressing does help.  This is not as helpful when you already dress as the woman you are every day though.  Perhaps appearing as feminine as possible can help somewhat with dysphoria when it rears its ugly head, I have tried that and it helps, it certainly does not make it worse. 

For those more new to transitioning, I can see where the gender conforming dressing can be affirming and counteracting the dysphoria significantly.  It helps for me to think of how much progress in transitioning I have done and I ask myself why I am having the dysphoria, and why should I be having it.

I do not know anything about the stories.  Are these stories that describe how people coped with dysphoria in their lives? 

Chrissy

[Alana1990]

Alana, email seems to work best for me too, hopefully it'll be the same for you.

Fingers crossed you hear back soon!


~ Lilis 💗

The doctor replied. I have to call on Monday. 

[Annaliese]

The doctor replied. I have to call on Monday. 

Thats great. So glad to hear the good news.

[ChrissyRyan]

The doctor replied. I have to call on Monday. 

That is good you received a reply.

Chrissy

[Lilis]

The doctor replied. I have to call on Monday. 

That's a nice sign, Alana, sounds like things are moving forward! 👍


~Lilis 💗