Being a girl in a man's world

[Dances With Trees]

*** Trigger Warning: Mention of violence, war crimes ***

While in the National Guard (after two years in the Marine Corps), my platoon went on a weekend survival training exercise. For the evening meal we were provided live rabbits. I was hungry but could not bring myself to kill the rabbit. One of my friends killed it for me and, since I was hungry, dressed, cooked, and ate the rabbit. National Guard is different than 'real' military, and the man who killed the rabbit never called me a 'sissy,' never hesitated. He was a friend. In the 'real' military, I would have killed the rabbit before revealing any hint of weakness. Of 'sissiness.' I think that's what happened at My Lai. I think that's why only three men refused to butcher, and do worse things than butchering, hundreds of Vietnamese villagers. I believe many of them were good men who were afraid of being called 'sissies.' I often think about this because My Lai happened when I was in the 'real' military. I was a 'press information' pogue. One of my tasks was to read dozens of Sunday papers and cut out any article that referenced the Marine Corps and give them to the colonel in a scrap book on Monday morning. My Lai was Army. But I read the stories. Somehow, these two anecdotes are linked. Somehow, who I am is defined by them. Does anyone else have a story along a similar theme? How being a sissy reveals your strength and is not an epithet for weakness.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Mrs. Oliphant
Dear Annika:
Thank your for sharing and posting your personal experience when you were in the National Guard.

I tend to agree with many of the things that you shared regarding "Being a girl in a man's world"

Yes indeed there are very manly and macho men in their actions and vocal statements
that can make many "normal" men in military service and in the world feel less than a "real" man.

Those of us as trans-women that maybe know about this first hand as I certainly do.  Even before my
transition journey started I was left feeling like a sissy at times when I could not say, act or do what
a so called "real" man would do.  I was never called a sissy but even here in Alaska where I am
among fishermen and hunters I am getting better but I am still quite squeamish about gutting wild game
however being a blue eyed blonde women I have the advantage of lots of offers for assistance in
those matters.  There are indeed advantages to being a woman.
Even at my business and home I get numerous offers to carry heavy boxes, shovel snow in my driveway at
my home and the sidewalk at my office... 
...I make a point to reward those that offer that help with my sincere "thank you" ... and my cookies and baking skills.

Thank you Annika for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator
                              US Air Force Veteran... served right after college.                       
.                            1st Lt  First Lieutenant
                              Much of that time at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas
                              Staff at the Air Education and Training Command

[Dances With Trees]

I teed to agree with many of the things that you shared regarding "Being a girl in a man's world"

Thanks, Danielle, for hearing the things I was so awkwardly attempting to share. The question I've asked myself more times than I can recall is this: would I have been woman enough to stand with the medic and two others at My Lai? The question haunts me, and I don't know the answer.

[D'Amalie]

Yes indeed there are very manly and macho men in their actions and vocal statements
that can make many "normal" men in military service and in the world feel less than a "real" man.

My best mates in the Navy were my Recon Marines!  Real macho men that I envied, but that never ridiculed me even then I was "softer."  I'd PT with them, amazed at what they could do, trying my hardest every time.

[ChrissyRyan]

One of my team members moved a ten pack of paper packages in a box for me as I dropped a paper between it and a printer stand.  I could do it but he just stopped me and said to please let me give you a hand.  I said, "Well, okay strong man, that would be nice!"  Then afterwards, "Thank you."  He said it was nothing really to help out.  I gave him a nice smile too and said he was very thoughtful.

I was thinking that this was a nice pleasure to experience as a woman.
Even if I was not a woman it would be nice!

Do a kind thing today!

Chrissy

[Lori Dee]

I am a firm believer in Random Acts of Kindness.

[ChrissyRyan]

No act of kindness is too small.

Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

I am a firm believer in purposeful acts of kindness.

[Sephirah]

*** Trigger Warning: Mention of violence, war crimes ***

While in the National Guard (after two years in the Marine Corps), my platoon went on a weekend survival training exercise. For the evening meal we were provided live rabbits. I was hungry but could not bring myself to kill the rabbit. One of my friends killed it for me and, since I was hungry, dressed, cooked, and ate the rabbit. National Guard is different than 'real' military, and the man who killed the rabbit never called me a 'sissy,' never hesitated. He was a friend. In the 'real' military, I would have killed the rabbit before revealing any hint of weakness. Of 'sissiness.' I think that's what happened at My Lai. I think that's why only three men refused to butcher, and do worse things than butchering, hundreds of Vietnamese villagers. I believe many of them were good men who were afraid of being called 'sissies.' I often think about this because My Lai happened when I was in the 'real' military. I was a 'press information' pogue. One of my tasks was to read dozens of Sunday papers and cut out any article that referenced the Marine Corps and give them to the colonel in a scrap book on Monday morning. My Lai was Army. But I read the stories. Somehow, these two anecdotes are linked. Somehow, who I am is defined by them. Does anyone else have a story along a similar theme? How being a sissy reveals your strength and is not an epithet for weakness.

Annika you can't think of it in these terms. When I was in the Navy... we had to kill and dress a sheep. Provided to us, on Dartmoor. As part of basic training. Some people have that instinct in them, some people don't. I would venture 70% of people just vomited into the ground. I didn't. I found it fascinating. Which is why no one should ever want to be in a relationship with me, lol. I made everyone lamb chops and no one questioned it.

It isn't a question of gender. It's a question of what you can put up with. That differs for everyone.

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

Oh what a feeling in being a female in a man's world! [1]

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
[1] Apologies to Toyota

[Sephirah]

Hi Everyone

Oh what a feeling in being a female in a man's world! [1]

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
[1] Apologies to Toyota

Yeah, Sarah I still want one of your legendary Aussie Barbies. With ALL the shrimps.

[Sarah B]

Hi Sephirah

Ok I hear you, here is one Aussie Barbie with some shrimp on it.

Now please stop pestering me about Aussie Barbie's.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Sephirah

[Sephirah]

Hi Sephirah

Ok I hear you, here is one Aussie Barbie with some shrimp on it.

Now please stop pestering me about Aussie Barbie's.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Sephirah

Thank you. <3

Sorry, I know it is a stereotype.

*hugs*

[Lori Dee]

It isn't a question of gender. It's a question of what you can put up with. That differs for everyone.

So true. We were raised to hunt and fish, and how to dress out anything. When we lived in the desert, we raised rabbits commercially, so my dad taught us how to dress out a rabbit. I had no problems doing it, but my brothers refused. "YOU KILLED SNOWBALL, YOU MONSTER!"  Later, I showed one of them how to dress out a squirrel we had shot, and he learned that way. His training was reinforced with a reward breakfast of biscuits with squirrel gravy. He was out hunting at sunrise every morning that summer. 

[Sephirah]

When we lived in the desert, we raised rabbits commercially, so my dad taught us how to dress out a rabbit. I had no problems doing it, but my brothers refused. "YOU KILLED SNOWBALL, YOU MONSTER!"

The really weird thing about that is that I actually had a pet rabbit called Snowball, lol. Back when I was a kid, my dad was a coal miner, and we went through the miner strikes in the 80s in the UK, under Thatcher. There was very little food because no one had any money and... uh... my grandad actually killed Snowball. My grandma cooked him in a stew and we ate him. I never knew that until much later in life. I was told he escaped from his cage, lol. Probably a good thing I didn't know at the time but... I mean, you do what you have to do.

On a lighter note, I really want to try what you folks across the pond call "biscuits". I do not like UK biscuits, but I gather in the US, they're a kind of savoury scone used for the primary conveyance of meat fuelled liquids into the tummy? Sounds right up my alley.

[Dances With Trees]

It isn't a question of gender. It's a question of what you can put up with. That differs for everyone.

That is so true, Sephirah. When we were children and visited one of my mother's older sisters, chicken dinner was still cackling in the hen house when we arrived. My old aunts never once asked one of my uncles for help preparing dinner.

[Sephirah]

That is so true, Sephirah. When we were children and visited one of my mother's older sisters, chicken dinner was still cackling in the hen house when we arrived. My old aunts never once asked one of my uncles for help preparing dinner.

Haha, a roast chicken is something special. And I am not ashamed to say it. They are the gift that keeps on giving. Probably not for them but... you know. I love that you had actual hens in your family, Annika. I always feel a li'l bit dirty buying this pre-prepared stuff in a supermarket.

Also yes, Aunts just always knew how to get it done, lol. Aunts and grandmas just... you didn't question!

[Dances With Trees]

Also yes, Aunts just always knew how to get it done, lol. Aunts and grandmas just... you didn't question!

Absolutely! Sometimes I truly believe I'm blessed to be so old and to have been exposed to the rural culture of the 1950's. My mother was born in Canada. Her first 'road trip' was when her family moved from Alberta to Montana. Mom travelled in the back of a covered wagon. Of course, cars existed back then but grandpa was a muleskinner. Cars were for sissies.

[Sephirah]

Absolutely! Sometimes I truly believe I'm blessed to be so old and to have been exposed to the rural culture of the 1950's. My mother was born in Canada. Her first 'road trip' was when her family moved from Alberta to Montana. Mom travelled in the back of a covered wagon. Of course, cars existed back then but grandpa was a muleskinner. Cars were for sissies.

From what you have shown me, Annika, where you are and your utterly beautiful daughter (not gonna say her name because it might be private) you live in an extremely breath-taking part of the world. Likely somewhere our resident rockhound would have a whale of a time.

[Dances With Trees]

Likely somewhere our resident rockhound would have a whale of a time.

And I hope she stops by on her way to Colorado. I'm too old to prospect, but if she could teach my beautiful daughter how to separate gold from black sand and where to look--perhaps all of will get rich during her visit.