Wife of CDer, new to site...

[marianne]

Hello, My name is Marianne and I am a TG's wife. My husband convinced me to join this site. I am supportive of his dressing, but I still struggle at times with my own self-esteem and security issues, especially since he looks REALLY good en femme mode. (He's also a good-looking "guy") He cross-dresses once or twice per week; when it's more than that sometimes it gets to be too much for me. I am however willing to try new things and go new places with him as "her." I have accepted that this feminine side is a part of him that will always be there....I didn't find out until after we were married, so the feeling of deception made things bumpy for a while. We struggled with trust issues and his alcoholism. He was miserable when he was hiding this secret from me, and was angry and withdrawn alot. I'm glad he is able to express his true self finally, and just want to find ways we can both live peacefully together with neither one of us losing who we are. If there are other wives out there on this site who are where I'm at, or have been where I'm at, I'd love to hear from you.

[Peggiann]

Welcome Marianne,

I'm Leah's SO. Leah is MtF Transsexual. In Transition and on HRT.
From very first on We have always been sure to be considerate of the others needs. She never had a desire to dress except for requirements for SRS. We work toward each others dreams and desires usually according to priority and finances to accomplish these.

While your Spouse is finding her new self it is important that she keep aknowlegding you for who you are. She will need to still compliment you on your looks and your efforts to please. When we shop we shop looking for what she needs and also something new to spice up me.
There still needs to be the give and take and comprimises for having harmony. One can not be expected to be a giver all the time and nor can one be a taker all the time. You must both give 110% effort to make you marriage work as does any other couple. You would not hire someone for working for you that was only giving 50%. Don't ever expect less from your Lifes partner than you yourself are willing to give.

Taking turns to pick the entertainment, the restaruant, the friends to go see and so on. Communication is the best way to make your way these new waters. Share that husband needs to never be afraid to talk to you about anything and you want her to be that way for you. That way you will still gling to each other as the one with the answers instead of looking elsewhere for them leaving one or the other out or behind. You will become more self confident and feel more secure the more you have shared in the planning of the path to tread together.
Read some of the information on cross dressers in the Significant Other forum. Some of what is there may help in your securety issues.

I hope I have helped in some way if nothing but to let you know there are others here dealling with some of the same issues. I'm sure others will be along to share with you what their experience has been.

Feel free to post with us in the SO forum so more SO's will see your posts. OH and whom is your Lucky Spouse to have such a special person in their life willing to make an effort to understand? You said your husband convinced you to join this site, just wanted to put the two of you together in my mind.

Good to have you here and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.

Smiles,
Peggiann

[stephanie_craxford]

Hello Marianne.

Welcome to Susan's.  I hope that you won't find all of this too overwhelming   While this site is primarily set up to support the TG community as Peggiann has said there is an SO forum that we are trying to expand and get SO's involved in.  It is small at the moment but participation will make it grow.  You will find that this is a very diverse site, with a wide variety of members, and an equally wide variety of ideas and opinions.

Please take part where you can and don't be afraid to post your ideas and views on any of the topics.

Enjoy your stay and I'm sure that we will chat later.

Steph

[RachelSnow]

 

The lucky spouse would be me...

As for finding myself, I found myself a long time ago... Then lost myself and then rediscovered myself... If you follow.

It was harder reacclimating this time around because of the "other woman" in my life and by this I mean my SO. But any woman that pays me compliments like she does is worth everything to me!

Welcome aboard Hun, glad you joined the boards.

[Peggiann]

Thank you for guiding your wife to us. There are not very many of us wives here.

Maybe Marianna, you can also share this site with her Crossdressers SO Support group she has been involved with. Maybe they to can help us all figure out where, what, why, and hows of things by sharing what it is they feel and what it is that works for them too.
Word of mouth is what will make our group here at Susan's grow. So If you can feel comfortable sharing us with others please do so.

I never had the yoyo on again off again stages you did. I was not told untill 19 almost 20 years into our marriage about Leah's desires. I don't know how I would have felt in your shoes either. I'm thinking you are one compassionate and strong woman I think I'll enjoy getting to know better. Mass. is so far away to get to meet and share but someday if I get to travel to Prince Edward Island (one of my dream destinations) we'll have to meet on the the way to or from.

Have a great day the two of you.

Smiles,
Peggiann