Indecision during transition

[Renate]

Some people seem to have internal conflicts during transition, some don't.

Your thoughts?

[TheBattler]

People are different. Some do not want to be run by the force that is inside them - they want self-determination. Thats me - I never wanted to start HRT and if I find a sensible way to stop I would do so immediatly.

Othes say it is their life and will go with the force within.

Everyone is different. I would of preferred not to give into GID but alast depression is a awful thing.

Alice

[NicholeW.]

I didn't have doubts after I started -- the die was cast -- so to speak.

I tried to do my self-discovery prior to initial sessions, hrt, etc. That has apparently worked.

N~

[TheBattler]

Yeap - the dice was cast for me a long long time ago - I just do not belive in it's logic.

Alice

PS So much for me stopping the fight I am having with myself. I guess what I said in https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,9614.0.html is still true.

[tekla]

Little Miss Grammer here.  The "die is cast" is to be permanent, as the die can not be changed once cut.  Dice can always be rolled again.

[TheBattler]

Hmm - thanks for the grammer leson.

The "die was cast" a long time ago for me - I keep rolling the dice to see if I can find something different  .

Alice

[tekla]

The wolf came in, I got my cards
We sat down for a game
I cut my deck to the Queen of Spades
but the cards were all the same

[tinkerbell]

I've not had a moment of doubt

Like I said on a different post.  If I had not been able to transition and have SRS, I would be better dead!

tink

[tekla]

And I know people who did transition and then killed themselves.  No way is perfect.

[tinkerbell]

And I know people who did transition and then killed themselves.  No way is perfect.

Perhaps they transitioned for the wrong reasons?  That's usually the case!

tink

[debbie.j]

And I know people who did transition and then killed themselves.  No way is perfect.

Perhaps they transitioned for the wrong reasons?  That's usually the case!

tink

but not ALWAYS  the CASE tink!!  there are other reason,s that it can happen after some one transitioned

and what are those other reason,s  you may ask  well let,s see here  there is the accidental drug  over

dose and beer also too a few other cases that have been  accidental. and the reason i  know this is due

to my work .which i would rather talk about makeing good choice and haveing options on this topic, then

just what i said  thats my 2 cent,s on this 

[TheBattler]

And I know people who did transition and then killed themselves.  No way is perfect.

Perhaps they transitioned for the wrong reasons?  That's usually the case!

tink

So what are the right and wrong reasons. The problem is no-one know cause it is so individual.

Alice (The CD)

[Laura91]

I have not had one single shred of doubt about what I am doing, but the mood swings are still a problem.

[tinkerbell]

And I know people who did transition and then killed themselves.  No way is perfect.

Perhaps they transitioned for the wrong reasons?  That's usually the case!

tink

So what are the right and wrong reasons. The problem is no-one know cause it is so individual.

Alice (The CD)

If you are a woman and feel a need to transition to make your body congruent with your gender and live life according to the gender roles of your true gender. 

If there are other valid reasons, post them away, for I might be missing something.

tink

[NicholeW.]

And I know people who did transition and then killed themselves.  No way is perfect.

Perhaps they transitioned for the wrong reasons?  That's usually the case!

tink

So what are the right and wrong reasons. The problem is no-one know cause it is so individual.

Alice (The CD)

I would suggest that a CD, if you subscribe to the 'given definition' or something close, not transition. Although I have known a couple who decided later that they were TS and successfully transitioned and felt great about it. One wrote a book that was published.

I have heard a lot of talk about regretters, but have never met one. Nor seen many examples. Dr. McHugh mentioned 'many' who had regretted and were miserable back when he closed the Johns Hopkins surgical program, but never showed any proof of any kind, never cited a study or anything like that.

I would think, Alice, if you are having doubts that maybe, like Jordan, you should simply spend a lot of intimate time with yourself. If you are as against it as much as some of your posts sound like you might be, then maybe you owe it to yourself to postpone measures taken toward a full transition.

There is not one defining factor, I imagine, that would say definitely transition. That comes from the man or woman themselves.

I would suggest that if you are looking for 'logical' reasons you will probably not find them. Comfort reason, heart reasons, deepest desire reasons are available, but your posts don't seem to read as though you've found any of those.

It's a 'knowing,' luv. Not like a knowing the rate of acceleration of a a stone falling from 200 feet. Instead it's a 'knowing' within one's self. I cannot 'logically' explain to your my heart and my comfort. They simply are. You must find yours.

Nichole   


BTW, even if you stop transitioning you may well be depressed enough that continuing the anti-depressants might be a very good idea.

[Berliegh]

My doubts have been that I think I don't look physically female enough and I feel limited in what can be achieved from a gender change. Some days I feel very confident and others I think I still don't cut it. I'm quite realistic and observant about it all...

But at the same time I prefer where I am now....and I haven't had indecision....just dissapointment in both the NHS and not being able to transition very far and as well as I originally wanted..

[TheBattler]

It's a 'knowing,' luv. Not like a knowing the rate of acceleration of a a stone falling from 200 feet. Instead it's a 'knowing' within one's self. I cannot 'logically' explain to your my heart and my comfort. They simply are. You must find yours.

Nichole   

Thanks for your words Nichole -  they mean a lot to me.

Thats the thing - I do think my heart knows where it want to go - I just do not want to admit it so I fight with myself all the time. I will be good - I promise.

Alice

[NicholeW.]

It's a 'knowing,' luv. Not like a knowing the rate of acceleration of a a stone falling from 200 feet. Instead it's a 'knowing' within one's self. I cannot 'logically' explain to your my heart and my comfort. They simply are. You must find yours.

Nichole   

Thanks for your words Nichole -  they mean a lot to me.

Thats the thing - I do think my heart knows where it want to go - I just do not want to admit it so I fight with myself all the time. I will be good - I promise.

Alice

Alice,

There is no metaphysical 'good' and 'bad' to transition, except in an individual way. You can be very 'good' and have a ton of doubts.

I just think that if someone has a lot of doubts that she should honor those doubts and honor herself. If this doesn't somehow make you 'whole' then you sure as heck don't wanna do it. You haven't given reasons for why YOU want to transition. I think you owe it to yourself to get to the bottom of that.

Look-it, if it's right for you to be a CD, there is no shame in that at all. It doesn't make you 'bad' or 'less than;' it simply means you are Alice, a CD. You need to be pretty sure that you are Alice, TS, before you transition, imo. Just that can save a bundle of heartache.

But, you and only you can make that decision, luv. That's it. No one else can even begin to know if that will give you some peace in being who you are.

I wish one of us could give you 'the answer/s.' We cannot, but we can accept you for whomever you decide to be. Alice, you 'earned' that the day you were born.

Hugs,

Nichole

[tekla]

I've known a few.  One of which was Miss TGSF, and president of TGSF and all that, and was found hanging from a door frame, which, if nothing else, is kinda a common way to go.  I think that your degree of being happy going in, is pretty much your degree of being happy coming out.  One thing never changes everything else.  Sometimes it changes nothing.  Or less than nothing.  Plenty of people regret stuff.

[debbie.j]

I've known a few.  One of which was Miss TGSF, and president of TGSF and all that, and was found hanging from a door frame, which, if nothing else, is kinda a common way to go. 

oh WHY  tekla WHY  oh for the love it all!! tekla like i told tink this iam telling YOU THIS NOW!

And I know people who did transition and then killed themselves.  No way is perfect.

Perhaps they transitioned for the wrong reasons?  That's usually the case!

tink

but not ALWAYS  the CASE tink!!  there are other reason,s that it can happen after some one transitioned

and what are those other reason,s  you may ask  well let,s see here  there is the accidental drug  over

dose and beer also too a few other cases that have been  accidental. and the reason i  know this is due

to my work .which i would rather talk about makeing good choice and haveing options on this topic, then

just what i said  thats my 2 cent,s on this 

and not only that  there are also case of FOOD POISIONING TOO ALSO!! so can WE please DROP this

and talk about better choices and options