Hello,
this is Deniz writing 1;41 in the night. Greece time. Crying,Drinking, cursing this sadist God of mine.and my self.
I followed your advice.I did not tell him.I do not have the courage to do so. Why risk.Since i know the outcome. I made a huge argument with my lover. The main reason( that i actually invented), is that he changed, he was not so caring( as he used to be),and i told him i can not be with him anymore.
We had arguments like that in the past weeks. But the reason is not the real one. Yes guys DO change during a relationship.The honey period lasts 6-8 months.Then love comes. And i do not care.But what kept me to that relationship was HIS LOVE.HE WAS SO IN LOVE, he made me believe that if i would tell him he MIGHT accept me.After a car accident he had, he had to stay off work for a while.He became cold,but still in love. However, he did change and that made me reconsider.He loves me because he thinks i am a natal woman.When a small crisis came his love became a little less
obvious.So when the HUGE crisis comes,(like me revealing my secret then what?)
so, i broke.He called 50-70 times for 2 days
then my uncle answered the phone.He told him that my mental health is fragile and it would be better to stay off.
So, i am alone
again.No arms to hold me.Not his heartbeat next to me
anymore.nothing.My and my body.Full of hatred. Why God?Why mother??Why dad?What will i become?Why love?
(((((((
