Sexual thought patterns GONE!

[Dora]

It has been said that a male has a sexual thought every 7 seconds. That may be an exaggeration but I do know that the constant monotony of sexual thoughts I had pre-HRT ruled my life. I was literally caught up in an unwanted sexual prison in my mind. The relief of being able to think clearly has got to be the BEST thing to happen to me from the estrogen. (Of course everything else has been great too!)

Dora

[Steph]

I went through the same issues when I started HRT, it just didn't seem important.

Steph

[Osiris]

I find it interesting that I'm not on T yet I already have these male thought patterns, always have. It makes me wonder exactly how much of it is driven by hormones. Hmmm... *smokes pipe and looks pensive*

[Steph]

I find it interesting that I'm not on T yet I already have these male thought patterns, always have. It makes me wonder exactly how much of it is driven by hormones. Hmmm... *smokes pipe and looks pensive*

I would love to see a picture of you with a pipe in your mouth

An interesting point...  In MtF blocking T generally reduces the sex drive on a male level, but I have experienced the taking estro has increased my sex drive as a female.  Are we pre-disposed because we are trans?

Steph

[ambientdischord]

Oh dear lord I hope my sex drive goes away. 

I took a progesterin medicine for a month a while back because my psych and I wanted to see if it would help with answering sexuality questions (and it did) and the lack of thinking about sex all the time did wonders for my psyche

[NicholeW.]

I don't believe that my sex-drive 'went away' at all. I found it simply became comfortable. I mean, not thinking about sex at all on most days. Yet, being supremely able and generally willing to have sexual relations when the opportunity presented itself.

Depending on how one acted prior to transition I can see where many might find that 'I have no sex drive.' When coupled with the frequent experiences of TSes that include various types of abuse, confusion and discomfort with our sexuality, I can understand why one would even embrace that decline in 'sexual thoughts' as the 'disappearance' of one's sex-drive.

Nichole

[ambientdischord]

Part of the relief of losing a sex drive has to do with the physical aspects of sex too.  I look forward to not thinking about it so much, but it will also be great to not have a feeling of needing it.  All sexual encounters I have had as a male have been uncomfortable or unfulfilling at best, feeling like a form of consensual rape at worst.  To not have a sex drive that needs to be released will be much better psychologically.  Until the SRS!  Then it'll feel right!  (I just know, ok?)

[Dora]

I don't believe that my sex-drive 'went away' at all. I found it simply became comfortable. I mean, not thinking about sex at all on most days. Yet, being supremely able and generally willing to have sexual relations when the opportunity presented itself.

That's where I am coming from also. When I wrote sexual prison, I meant the constant internal sexual chatter that I would find myself in day in and day out. I consider myself sexual now too, but now it is on my terms. 

I have noticed a huge drop in intensity and volume -- I don't consider that to be a problem.

Dora

[April221]

Part of the relief of losing a sex drive has to do with the physical aspects of sex too.  I look forward to not thinking about it so much, but it will also be great to not have a feeling of needing it.  All sexual encounters I have had as a male have been uncomfortable or unfulfilling at best, feeling like a form of consensual rape at worst.  To not have a sex drive that needs to be released will be much better psychologically.  Until the SRS!  Then it'll feel right!  (I just know, ok?)

I was always uncomfortable having sex with a woman. My mind would scream at me to stop...women don't do that to  other women. I'd get into bed with a woman, and if I had an erection, I'd try to hide it. HRT has made life more comfortable in many ways, as you've experienced, not feeling the need for a sexual encounter is a blessing.

[LynnER]

GACK!!!!!

KK, this is something thats plauged me sence starting HRT....

As male... I had almost no sex drive... my ex would have to bug and practicly beg to get me to go more than one round....

Post HRT....  HOW DO YOU TURN THIS THING OFF?!?!?  I dont think about it all the time... but once the thought appears its hard to get rid of...  and there is no self gratifying... it just dosnt do anything Grrrrr!!!!

An erection was bad enough... but when your flushed and every little touch just sets the mind ablure... yeah

I take frequent cold showers to keep myself under controll...

[Schala]

I find it interesting that I'm not on T yet I already have these male thought patterns, always have. It makes me wonder exactly how much of it is driven by hormones. Hmmm... *smokes pipe and looks pensive*

Opposite here, pre-HRT I had no sex-drive, no sexual attraction either. I'm still not physically attracted to people. Looks matter little to me as a result. I do have a sex drive now though, due to estrogen. It's rather small still, but more than I'm used to.

It's hard to get rid of the arousal when it happens though. I don't and have almost never masturbated. I don't seek release. It just goes away after some hours, or if I relax enough maybe less time.

[Sarah]

I have found that the edge is taken off most definitely.
Except for about one a month strangely enough.

Lynn: Try bowing. It worked for me.
Sounds strange, but true.
Old trick from my practice tradition.
Sara

[ambientdischord]

Sarah:  Even before I started HRT it was about one week out of the month where I would have an overwhelming sex drive, and the other three weeks I pretty much didn't have one at all.  It just kind of sounds similar to your "once a month" issue.

[samanthawhalen]

I am plagued with sexual thoughts connstantly.  Last night I posted naked pics of myself (not my face) online, and looked at latex porn for a couple of hours before masturbating.  It's nearly become a daily routine, and often I find myself caught up in it when I should be spending time with my son and my wife.  I feel so guilty, yet.....I can't wait until either I am castrated or I am able to go on hormones and this goes away.  I've been in class this morning, and was often distracted (while the professor was talking) about thoughts of having sex with men, and some emails that I had gotten this morning about BDSM scenes some men are wanting to involve me in.  I know some here fear not ever been horny again, not ever liking sex again, but I feel that if your thought processes are changed you won't ever know the difference.  Your life will just be different.  It's like people whose personalities have changed because of brain trauma.  They don't feel sad that their former personality is gone or that they used to think a different way.  It never occurs to them.

[tekla]

Changes in the sex drive can be linked to HRT, though, like all such drugs, the effect is not the same person to person.  Time changes a lot of it too.  As does having the right outlets.

[Berliegh]

I've never really had much of a sex drive before HRT....when I had girlfriends they left after a while because I wasn't interested in sex.....They usually found a rempant man who could fullfill there desires...

On the rare occasions I did have sex I imagined they were in me which was the only way I could get through it...

[Dora]

I've never really had much of a sex drive before HRT....when I had girlfriends they left after a while because I wasn't interested in sex.....They usually found a rempant man who could fullfill there desires...

This is not directed specifically to you, Berliegh, but I just wanted to be clear that IMO there is a difference between male sexual thought patterns and sex drive. I too had very little interest in actual sex, but that did not stop the constant sexual chatter going on in my mind. I felt that it was a very typical masculine trait and it contributed to much of my discontent as it was a constant reminder of my unwanted male traits. With HRT it is no longer an issue.

Dora

[Just Mandy]

On the rare occasions I did have sex I imagined they were in me which was the only way I could get through it...

Berliegh, I do the same thing but sex is enjoyable for me probably because I have a very, very close emotional
attachment to my SO. But I have imagined the same thing as you. Which is very odd because I have
never had an attraction to mens bodies... just the feeling that I'm the female when having sex. This is
probably way too much information but what the hey We also have what we call girl sex and always have,
it's missionary with my legs on the outside of hers. It makes the imagination that much more real That's
my "over share" of the day

[Berliegh]

On the rare occasions I did have sex I imagined they were in me which was the only way I could get through it...

Berliegh, I do the same thing but sex is enjoyable for me probably because I have a very, very close emotional
attachment to my SO. But I have imagined the same thing as you. Which is very odd because I have
never had an attraction to mens bodies... just the feeling that I'm the female when having sex. This is
probably way too much information but what the hey We also have what we call girl sex and always have,
it's missionary with my legs on the outside of hers. It makes the imagination that much more real That's
my "over share" of the day

I never enjoyed sex even long before HRT and certainly didn't ever imagine I was a guy. It's a part of my life that has always been difficult. I actually did used to imagine the girl was a guy and was inside me rather than the other way around....

[seldom]

Berleigh what you are saying sounds nearly identical to me.  Except, I really only had one sexual relationship, I tried to use that thought process you are saying to cope with it, but for the most part it was tough to deal with.  Later we broke up, I split off the relationship because she said I was to much like a girl and could not accept that (this was before I was out).  The other relationships did not last long in general before transition with both men and women because I was so uncomfortable with my body and the nature of the interaction, that it usually ended pretty soon.  I was not that interested and uncomfortable with sex in general, largely because it felt all wrong from my perspective.  So what you are saying sounds very very familiar to what I went through.

After transition, well...I do have more of a sexual attraction to people, and I have kind of realize that I can be in intimate circumstances that feel more natural.