Jus' Kelli

[KelliGirl]

Well, if you haven't figured it out already, I'm Kelli and I live in Upstate NY. I'm 36 and have been actively transitioning since August 2007. My transition, once I started, moved along very quickly. I have been full time since December 14th. My name is legally changed, I have a drivers license with that sought-after "F", and I pass very well, though there are days I feel pretty bad about myself. I have spent the past seven months training my voice and I am told I sound like any natal woman. In fact, I did radio voiceovers as a male and now I do them as a female. I am a geek girl and also very much a fashion-feind girly-girl with a penchant for short skirts and crazy fashion tights. Unless I am having a really bad day, I am very confident and don't much care what the hell anyone thinks about me. I am much more confident as a woman than I ever was trying to fit in as a man.

I decided to join this forum after reading the founders story. Our backgrounds are very similar in many ways. I have known since I was young that there was something "wrong" with me and wished to God I was a girl. Ironically I was a very devout conservative Christian most of my life until a few years ago and that upbringing is mostly what kept me from transitioning earlier in life.

Unfortunately lately I've had a lot of stress with my job, kids and ex's all hitting me at once and I've had quite a few emotional ups and downs. Today I broke down and bawled my eyes out in my GM's office and then spent 15 minutes after that locked in my office bawling more and trying to compose myself to go out and do a job. I am treated very well where I work and in general, but I am stressing a lot about money for SRS, which I want to have done by January, and things at work right now just aren't going the way I want them to.

I haven't had very good success getting to know other transwomen locally, and I don't really know why. I have lots of online friends that live hundreds or thousands of miles away, but no one locally I can talk to, shop with, share coffee with, etc.

So here I am. I don't bite but I do bitch every so often.

Kelli

[Audrey]

Welcome to the family Kelli.  Hope things start looking up for you.  Talk to you later.

Audrey

[KelliGirl]

Thank you for the welcome Audrey.   

I expect things will get better. I really don't have a lot to complain about I suppose. It could be a lot worse.

Kelli

[Lydia]

Nice to meet you Kelli. I'm still working on my voice. It's damn frustrating at times. It's great that your've done so well with yours. What in particular did you do or concentrate on over the last 7 months to train it? Tips that have worked for other are always helpful.

[KelliGirl]

Nice to meet you Kelli. I'm still working on my voice. It's damn frustrating at times. It's great that your've done so well with yours. What in particular did you do or concentrate on over the last 7 months to train it? Tips that have worked for other are always helpful.

Hi Lydia,

It is frustrating for a lot of women and I feel for all of you. Believe me I struggled with it but I just couldn't deal with the idea of looking like a woman and sounding like a man. I never had a very low voice. Here's an example of my voice before: http://www.kellimcmillan.com/audio/nrn.mp3 and http://www.kellimcmillan.com/audio/completed_production/30secspot.mp3

I'm not using my laptop right now but I will set it up later and post some of me now.

My method was mostly my own, though I took tips from what I read others have done. The key for me was learning to talk in my throat and my head and not from my chest. I practiced talking from my head, funny as it sounded for a long time, mostly while driving. It's hard to describe how you do it. You just learn to cut the resonant air flow off to your chest when you talk.

To raise my pitch, I compiled a CD with music specifically designed this way: 1 warm up song with baritone male vocals with which I could sing in a lower voice to limber and loosen things. Then three slow, more soprano songs to which I could sing either in my high normal range at a lower octave or at the same octave in falsetto. I alternated between falsetto and normal and it not only made my normal pitch much higher, it also trained my falsetto voice to sound much more natural. When I speak I use both, depending on voice inflection, and the two blend together pretty much seamlessly. Anyway, then after that I have a mix of faster songs of both male and female, various styles and voice types. Yes, except for the learning how to talk from my head and throat, much of my training was done by singing.

I posted this method elsewhere while I was still very much in process and drew much criticism. I think the critics are silent now LOL. FWIW, my voice pretty much sucked no matter how much I practiced until after I went full time and could use it all the time. When going back and forth between the two, it was very difficult to maintain stability. In fact, a stable voice took quite some time even after going full time and even today when I'm not feeling well my voice will occasionally crack.

I hope someone find this info useful. I don't guarantee it will work for anyone else. I only know it worked for me. Stand by for a sample of Kelli today...

Kelli

[tinkerbell]

Hello Kelli and welcome to Susan's!

Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay

tink