All Unicorns: What do you think of binary transsexuals?

[Nero]

Nero here.

Ok, so we had the poll for binary transsexuals' opinions on androgynees.

Now I'd like to know what you think of us.

I understand that many of you are content with or at least tolerant of your bodies' natural states.
What do you think of people who must change their bodies to find peace?

No right or wrong answers. Honesty appreciated. I promise Nero won't lash you.

[Pica Pica]

in the words of an awful take that song.. do what you want, do what you want to do.... 
or indeed the words of a dull status quo song, whatever you want, whatever you like...

(just don't involve me in pointless and rather dull debates about who is the most transsexuallist)

[Kir]

in the words of an awful take that song.. do what you want, do what you want to do.... 

(just don't involve me in pointless and rather dull debates about who is the most transsexuallist)

I'll second that. I'm cool being what I am. I can understand why someone would want to be one or the other. Not everyone is in the middle, which is fine. If someone is able to cope with what they are without changing anything, then that's cool, but if not, that's cool too.

But I admit, I do hate when people start arguing about being more of something than anyone else. "I'm a better hacker than you" "I am better at that game than you" "I'm more masculine than you" "I'm more dedicated than you" "My dad can beat up your dad". It's all the same crap. Just be yourself, whatever that may be, and let everyone else be themselves, whatever that may be.

[tekla]

I think peace in your own heart is a road that one must walk for themselves.  Hard enough to know what is in our own hearts, much less guess what is in others. 

I'm happy with who I am, what I am, and what I do.  Sometimes I'm a boy, sometimes more fem, and most of the time I try hard to keep the two flowing together.  What other people do, well they have to do what they think is right.  I hope for the best for them, though at times I read posts and think "one thing is not going to solve all these problems."  I can only hope that it give them a running start on the rest.

I work closely with an FtM.  He was kind of 'given' to me as part of our apprentice program because it was thought that I might be more simpatico with gender differences, largely because its no secret that I play in that playground (I do a lot of work for our 'special' events like the Fetish Ball and there is a picture of me rigging in my schoolgirl outfit down at the office).  We had two to begin with, but I had to kind of return one.  Not because anything was wrong with his work, but more because people with a history of substance abuse and who are in recovery - well, lets say rock venues are a very slippery slope.  So it was agreed that perhaps convention work might be better suited.  But "Crash" has worked out well, despite the mistake on his first day that got him that nickname.  But I'm determined to make it work, so what a $14K light?  So I told him - he looked as sad as I've ever seen anyone, here is his big shot to do a rock concert, big show, Smashing Pumpkins and all - and he loses a light.  He goes "now what happens" and I replied "You get some red or orange tape, put a big X of it on top of the roadcase and write NFG all over it and we'll stick it back on the truck."  And he looks at me and says "You would to that for me?"  I just said "Nah, I just so hate Billy Coragan so I'll be doing it to him.  So pack it up and send it on its way there Crash."  The name stuck.

So I like to work with people, I like to help people get to where they want to go.  Even if its someplace I don't think I'm heading.

[NickSister]

I think transsexuals are as varied, flawed and beautiful as anyone else. As for being a transsexual I believe the experience is very similar to my own as an androgyne. I once envied transsexuals in that they seem to have a really obvious target to resolving their gender issues but then I don't think anything is that simple. I've read too many awful stories of their heartbreaking journeys to really wish I was transsexual instead of an androgyne.

I guess I have this perception that some transsexuals see us as fence sitters, that we have not made up our minds yet and I feel really invalidated by this. I could just as easily see some transsexuals as people that have been sold on the whole binary gender thing, when in reality they would be more comfortable on our fence which happens to be wider than your side of it and it has a pool, twice the wardrobe and Rebis. I am sure in reality we could find examples of both fence sitters and androgyne transexuals.

On one level I don't really see androgynes and transsexuals as all that different. When you get down to it the reasons for both are most likely going to be just variations of the same thing. We are siblings. You don't have to understand your siblings but we are still family.

I think we all do what we need to do to be and feel like a real human instead of being like a caged creature trapped in our own carcass.

[Kir]

I know that sometimes TS see us as fence sitters. People that haven't decided which way to go. Many of them view this out of concern for our well being. I have even had some say "Are you sure you shouldn't be a female?" and that does bother me. I know what I am, I know what I should be. I am right where I should be.

However, in a similar light, I worry about some of them. Sometimes I think that they shouldn't be TS, they should be andro. They see gender as black and white, they are not happy with what they are, so they think they must go all the way to the other side, when in truth sitting up on our fence might be a much better place for them. Similarly, I worry about people that are very 'normal' and want to stay where they are born, maybe they should come sit on our fence too.

But not all of them, no. Some of the folks sitting on our fence will eventually hop off on one side of the other and find themselves more happy there. I think there are plenty of people that should stay where they are, and plenty that should completely jump that fence and keep on going without looking back. But I really worry about those that go through all the work of going over, but don't consider the middle. If nothing else, it's because sitting in the middle often times does not require expensive hormones or surgery or anything else, it's just a frame of mind, so it's worth considering before making that HUGE commitment. But for some, that commitment is right for them.

[Pica Pica]

I think of it more as a river than a fence, and we are the ratty's messing about in boats.

[sd]

I think transsexuals are as varied, flawed and beautiful as anyone else. As for being a transsexual I believe the experience is very similar to my own as an androgyne. I once envied transsexuals in that they seem to have a really obvious target to resolving their gender issues but then I don't think anything is that simple. I've read too many awful stories of their heartbreaking journeys to really wish I was transsexual instead of an androgyne.

I guess I have this perception that some transsexuals see us as fence sitters, that we have not made up our minds yet and I feel really invalidated by this. I could just as easily see some transsexuals as people that have been sold on the whole binary gender thing, when in reality they would be more comfortable on our fence which happens to be wider than your side of it and it has a pool, twice the wardrobe and Rebis. I am sure in reality we could find examples of both fence sitters and androgyne transexuals.

On one level I don't really see androgynes and transsexuals as all that different. When you get down to it the reasons for both are most likely going to be just variations of the same thing. We are siblings. You don't have to understand your siblings but we are still family.

I think we all do what we need to do to be and feel like a real human instead of being like a caged creature trapped in our own carcass.

Summed up my thoughts  perfectly.

[NickSister]

I think of it more as a river than a fence, and we are the ratty's messing about in boats.

Very Wind in the Willows of you old bean.

[Shana A]

As my grandmother used to say, whatever makes you happy.

I tried the TS path, and it wasn't quite right for me, however I think it'd be an easier road to be binary gender than floating out here in the middle of nowhere with little social recognition.

As far as I'm concerned, if it feels right to someone to be binary, go for it. If it doesn't feel right, be something else  I truly support each person's choice to be who they are.

Z

[Simone Louise]

I can understand transsexual skepticism about androgynes. There are books and protocols that describe step by step how to take their journey. They make big monetary sacrifices. Often, they sacrifice close relationships.

No one can tell you how to become fully androgynous. I don't know what that would mean. Each of us has to feel our way through dimly lit passages. Each may have a different destination in mind, and that goal may vary from time to time. It may be the journey that is important.

Bon voyage,
Simone

[tekla]

Ahh, but the joy is IN the journey as it turns out. 

[cindianna_jones]

Huh?  We've now got a new term with which I am not familiar.  What is a "binary transsexual"?  I don't have a clue.

I am who I am and you are who you are.  I accept people for who ever they are. I have learned to accept myself. It's really not important to me... at least that part of a person. 

Cindi

[tekla]

I just figure its one more thing I can't be the right kind of.  Which is kind of cute.  I just divide the world into workers and worthless.  As I asked someone the  other day - "Can you run anything besides your mouth?" 

I don't even accept people for who they are - that's a given.  I try to accept them (or reject them) based on what they do with the life they have.  All else is mere commentary.

[Seshatneferw]

What do you think of binary transsexuals?

Mu.

That is, I believe that dividing gender into two categories is no better -- but also no worse -- than dividing it into three categories, or five, or any smallish number. On the other hand, it's also quite clear that however many genders you choose to recognise there are people who are clearly male and others who are clearly female, and some of these were born with a sex that did not match that gender.

The bottom line is, while we need these concepts to talk (and think) about gender they also are man-made abstractions, and in that sense a step away from reality. Take them with a grain of salt, and in the end do what feels right to you.

  Nfr

[RebeccaFog]

sign me up for putting them in straight jackets.


I guess, in order to be polite, that I should explain that, to me, transsexuals are binaries, and all binaries belong in straight jackets.   


shoot.  In order to prevent myself from being killed by binaries, I should explain that since I think of transsexuals as binaries, it is obvious that I believe in their legitimacy.   

[Jaimey]

Reeb, you make me laugh.

If I'm androgyne, I don't see why someone else can't be transsexual.  Everyone's different and I'm cool with that.

...although, I do think it would be fun to put binaries in straight jackets.  >

[RebeccaFog]

A Binary! *points in excitement* Get her.  She must not be allowed to remain free and untethered!

[Jaimey]

Reeb, you make me laugh.

If I'm androgyne, I don't see why someone else can't be transsexual.  Everyone's different and I'm cool with that.

...although, I do think it would be fun to put binaries in straight jackets.  >

hmph!  i *much* prefer handcuffs!   

We can take care of that.  Do you prefer plain, leather, or pink and fluffy?  >

[sd]

Reeb, you make me laugh.

If I'm androgyne, I don't see why someone else can't be transsexual.  Everyone's different and I'm cool with that.

...although, I do think it would be fun to put binaries in straight jackets.  >

hmph!  i *much* prefer handcuffs!   

We can take care of that.  Do you prefer plain, leather, or pink and fluffy?  >

Leather, are you nuts?
Pink and fluffy, the rest would clash with the shoes.