Need some advice

[FirstOfMay87]

Hey there-

I've been having a lot of thoughts about starting HRT lately, and my situation is pretty much exactly what Cire posted a couple months ago:

I've felt like I've been in the wrong body for a long time. I'm a very emotionally stable person with a good life. I have no disorders.

I've wanted for a long time to be female, but I know how much it costs, I want to have children, and I want to look good. I really really don't want to look like a guy with boobs. My hands are big, I'm 5'9", I have a large chest, my bones are large....I'm handsome. I can pull off the androgynous look if I have just the right clothing, but I'm very concerned.

I really want to take action with hormones before I get any older (22years), and I wanted to know, what would happen to my body/look if I tried to take as much hormones as I could without sterilizing myself? I don't know how far I could go, but I couldn't imagine not having children, I love them so much. I'm not sure if I trust leaving sperm deposits, what if something happens?

Only difference is that I'm still under 20, and I wouldn't mind having boobs

So basically, what should I do in order to make myself look more feminine without become sterile?

I'm sure theres got to be a certain dosage of estrogen that I can take that will have some effect without destroying my fertility, even if its minimal.

I considered ordering some casodex online and taking it in small quantities every couple days, but experimenting with hormones can be dangerous as I understand.

But I'm not really sure if I could ever talk to an endo about this.

Anyways, thanks for the help <333

[Wing Walker]

Hello, FirstofMay87, and welcome to Susan's forums.

Please see a gender therapist and a physician before you take any hormones.  Things like estrogen and testosterone are powerful, life-altering, mind-changing chemicals and are not for unsupervised use.  They can cause liver damage and blood clots, neither of which is a fun thing.

Sincerely,

Wing Walker

[Davinia]

Hi FirstofMay87,

I would totally back up what Wing Walker has to say. If I was your age (again) I would want to become the woman I want to be as soon as possible. You are still under twenty so you have your whole life yet to become a woman!

Start to plan. start to think, start to dream, but be careful with your body. I am 25 years older than you and am only now beginning to reach out for the dream I had since age 12 so keep on working towards your goal and don't make the mistakes I made. You are right to take action to achieve your dreams as soon as possible, but get that medical help. We'd all like to welcome a new girl but but look after yourself and get that help, or you might not be here to welcome.

[FirstOfMay87]

thanks for the advice!

It seems like right now the best option I have would be to find a gender therapist, but I've got a couple of concerns before I do that.

I mean, I'm not really sure if I'd qualify as eligible for HRT. The reasons for my desire to transition could be seen as sexual and superficial, and I really have no desire to undergo SRS.

other than that.. where would I start to look for a TS friendly gender therapist? I live in a metropolitan city, so theres got to be one around here.

thanks again <3