A list of TS traits from my therapist

[Just Mandy]

My therapist gave me a ton of reading material a few weeks ago and I'm just now getting
through it all. One was a handout that listed many TS traits. I have many of these, if not
all but for a couple I'm almost totally opposite and I was curious if anyone else was like that. For
example, I was somewhat shy as a child but as an adult I've never been shy. I've also never
been depressed. Anyway many of you may have already seen this list, the handout was
titled "We are Transsexuals".

We have a primarily cope with the condition by shutting down all emotions
We have an inability to discuss deep feelings with others
We are very insecure
We have very few, if any, close friends, prefers to spend time alone
We exhibit extreme shyness at times
We have a hatred of (and inattention to) our appearance
We avoid pictures and videos of ourselves
We often have inattention to health issues
We have extreme modesty about our sexuality and partial and full nudity
We often take on dangerous jobs or activities
We often have well above average intelligence
We immerse ourselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration and highly technical vocations.
We are extremely competitive or extremely non-competitive with no middle ground
We are very imaginative daydreamers
We display self destructive behavior
We possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
We are anti-war and anti death penalty
We have the need for more than usual privacy in our  lives
We are very unlikely to fight or have a physical confrontation
We gave deep seated hatred of authority
We have on and off battles with clinical depression
We are easily able to place people by the sounds of their voice
We are able to easily read peoples emotions
We excel in reading and writing at an early age but have difficulty with mathematics
We often have suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts

[lady amarant]

Hmmm. Sad to say that I seem to be a bit of a cliche then. Damn! And I thought I was such an individual!!! 

Although I am okay at math!

[annajasmine]

Wow, I'm a lot of these except for about three or four of them.


Anna 

[Nigella]

Yep, I can tick most of those Amanda, so I'm not mad after all, lol.

Hugs

Nigella

[CassandraR]

Sounds more like a teenager then a transsexual. Though I do tend to think its hard for people to become well rounded adults before they transition. I know I am very childish and am only starting to learn how to become a good adult now that I am transitioning.

[Nero]

Only a few of these are true of me. Maybe the list is geared more towards mtfs. After all, a man would react differently to any situation than a woman would.

[cindybc]

I have confronted and have made peace with most of those issues, but I can say that I can identify with most of them at one time or another in my life. But one has to form their own guidelines to get past those that we find to be obstacles in our progress and growth in our journey. One step at a time will eventually get you there. You might find that human emotions as experienced by folks like us might be the hardest barriers to overcome.

Cindy

Posted on: March 24, 2008, 05:53:46 PMHi CassandraR, Just from reading your post I believe you have your stuff together and you know what your destination is, but never stop being child like. Sometime you may find that by still being connected to the inner child will help you overcome many obstacles. I'm 62 and I still feel like a young mischievous child inside myself.

Cindy

[Just Mandy]

Only a few of these are true of me. Maybe the list is geared more towards mtfs. After all, a man would react differently to any situation than a woman would.

Oh yea... sorry Nero... it was for MTF's.

[Nero]

Only a few of these are true of me. Maybe the list is geared more towards mtfs. After all, a man would react differently to any situation than a woman would.

Oh yea... sorry Nero... it was for MTF's.

No need to apologize. Found it interesting anyhow. And true of some ladies I know.

[Just Mandy]

I found it interesting too... I was amazed at how TS has apparently shaped my life and
personality.

[MeghanAndrews]

Hey Amanda,
I just figured I'd answer them from your original post Hope you don't mind.

We have a primarily cope with the condition by shutting down all emotions----> I'm the opposite, I cope by being emotional, always have

We have an inability to discuss deep feelings with others----> this is definitely not me, I have always been way too open with people

We are very insecure----> definitely

We have very few, if any, close friends, prefers to spend time alone -----> definitely me, or with really close friends

We exhibit extreme shyness at times----> sometimes, but can be outgoing

We have a hatred of (and inattention to) our appearance-----> no inattention here, I obsess over it due to esteem issues

We avoid pictures and videos of ourselves---> no, i never have. i don't feel comfortable looking at video, but i can look at pictures and pick them apart

We often have inattention to health issues----> kind of, yeah

We have extreme modesty about our sexuality and partial and full nudity----> definitely me

We often take on dangerous jobs or activities-----> not really, i didn't do this kind of thing

We often have well above average intelligence----> i think so

We immerse ourselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration and highly technical vocations.---> i excelled in sales my whole life, not highly technical or requiring intense concentration, just needed to be someone i was not.

We are extremely competitive or extremely non-competitive with no middle ground----> not really, i always was a peace-keeper, looking for middle ground

We are very imaginative daydreamers---> definitely me


We display self destructive behavior----> no, not me, definitely not. i take care of myself
We possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.---> i am definitely open-minded

We are anti-war and anti death penalty---> anti-war yes, in certain circumstances like family member gets brutally murdered, hard for me to imagine turning the other cheek. hope i never have to put that to the test.

We have the need for more than usual privacy in our lives---> i've always lived two lives, the private one inside my head and the one i let people see

We are very unlikely to fight or have a physical confrontation---> i was in one fight in 5th grade, a kid made fun of my best friend so i pushed him. he punched me in the nose, i cried in front of everyone in gym class thus my fighting days were over.

We gave deep seated hatred of authority---> for me, quite the opposite, i tend to follow authority figures rather easily

We have on and off battles with clinical depression----> i was in hospital for 3 months when i was 19 for it, haven't been that bad since

We are easily able to place people by the sounds of their voice---> definitely me

We are able to easily read peoples emotions----> definitely me

We excel in reading and writing at an early age but have difficulty with mathematics---> i hate admitting this because it's so stereotypical. i understand math concepts, but not hardcore algebra and calc and stuff. geometry was easy for me for some reason, i don't know why.

We often have suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts-----> see the depression post

I really don't like laundry lists of trans traits. I mean, I've met sooo many different kinds of trans people and some would answer that they have most of these traits and others would hardly have any. I think you understand yourself or are at least getting that way Amanda. Don't be too swayed or convinced by this stuff. If you answered no to all of them, would that change how you feel about yourself? I think that's where you want to get to  

Great post though, questions are a good source of introspection, Meghan

[Karla B]

Those describe me to a T!     except for about 4 of them. The rest are right on.

[Wing Walker]

I love surveys and given that it took me 46 years to become the real me, I believe that I can understand the questions.  I'll soon find out...

My therapist gave me a ton of reading material a few weeks ago and I'm just now getting
through it all. One was a handout that listed many TS traits. I have many of these, if not
all but for a couple I'm almost totally opposite and I was curious if anyone else was like that. For
example, I was somewhat shy as a child but as an adult I've never been shy. I've also never
been depressed. Anyway many of you may have already seen this list, the handout was
titled "We are Transsexuals".

We have a primarily cope with the condition by shutting down all emotions   Me - Never  I prefer not to cope but I have and I hate it

We have an inability to discuss deep feelings with others  Me - True, except for my partner and my sis-in-law

We are very insecure    Not me

We have very few, if any, close friends, prefers to spend time alone   Not true - I was blessed with the company of my sisters in transition on a weekly basis.  We had pajama parties with a Mary Kay rep who was there to ingest some calories and do makeovers.  I was always on the phone with someone.

We exhibit extreme shyness at times   Never did, never will.

We have a hatred of (and inattention to) our appearance   I do my best to always look presentable as a middle-aged woman. 

We avoid pictures and videos of ourselves   I'll feel better about pics a time passes.

We often have inattention to health issues   Nope.

We have extreme modesty about our sexuality and partial and full nudity   Open about my sexuality; not overly modest, either.

We often take on dangerous jobs or activities   Not me!!!!!

We often have well above average intelligence   Yes. <Paula blushes>

We immerse ourselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration and highly technical vocations.  Yes, for 29 years, and I loved it!

We are extremely competitive or extremely non-competitive with no middle ground    Now that I am older I prefer any middle ground.

We are very imaginative daydreamers    Yes.  Imagination helped my career and my transition; daydreaming is fun, too.

We display self destructive behavior    Is being a foodie a self-destructive behaviour?

We possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.   Yes.

We are anti-war and anti death penalty    Yes.

We have the need for more than usual privacy in our  lives    I'm not a recluse but I like privacy in my home.

We are very unlikely to fight or have a physical confrontation   I will defend my partner with my life and I don't give a sh*t for whatever damage I might inflict on any aggressor; all weapons are fair and there are no rules in a street fight.

We gave deep seated hatred of authority   No.  I question it and bring it to account whenever I can.

We have on and off battles with clinical depression   I have had depression for a looooooong time.

We are easily able to place people by the sounds of their voice   Yes.

We are able to easily read peoples emotions    Yes, I am empathic.

We excel in reading and writing at an early age but have difficulty with mathematics   I didn't understand calculus until I was in my mid-40s.

We often have suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts    I have in the past, but no more.

This is one interesting "profile."  Either I don't fit the profile or the profile doesn't fit me.

I knew when I was five that I was a girl and at age nine I was dead certain, so for at least 42 years I had time to live with my pains and develop an attitude that would serve me well in my transitioning and my life as a middle-aged woman.  I'm no beauty but I don't make babies cry or dogs run away.  I'm not belligerent but I don't do well at taking bulls**t from anyone.  I am self-confident and feel comfortable in a diner or a five-star restaurant.  I try my clothes on before I buy them.  I always get a current measurement at the store before I buy a brassiere.  I am happy beyond words to be me, to have the gift of two lives in one lifetime, both in the same body/platform.  I am grateful to my Maker for the privilege of having been born two-spirited/transsexual.

Am I out-of-touch with reality?  I don't think so.  I have learned to live with it, that's all.

Wing Walker

[cindianna_jones]

All are true for me except that I had a very difficult time learning to read and write when I was younger.  I had to stay after school or come in early for extra attention in the first and second grades.  My fourth grade teacher hit me on the head as I stood stumped in front of a fraction problem on the chalk board once.  The stick stung and I was extremely embarrassed as the class chuckled at my stupidity.  I wasn't very good with math in grade school.

Those things changed as I got older.  I learned to enjoy reading and although I did not excel at math, I did take Calculus in high school and earned college credit.  In college, every class towards my major (electrical engineering) was an adventure in calculus.  Even though my GPA was high, I did have a difficult time getting through that jungle.  I don't know how I ever finished that degree.  FWIW, the most valuable class that I took in college was one that I have used almost every day since..... typing.

But other than that, all of the other traits listed, I can certainly call my own.

Cindi

[Berliegh]

This generalisation list doesn't respresent anything and all personalities have different interests in dealing with transgendered issue's. In particular most of these do not represent my character or personality:

We have a primarily cope with the condition by shutting down all emotions - no
We have an inability to discuss deep feelings with others no
We are very insecure no
We have very few, if any, close friends, prefers to spend time alone not true
We exhibit extreme shyness at times no
We have a hatred of (and inattention to) our appearance no
We avoid pictures and videos of ourselves no
We often have inattention to health issues no
We have extreme modesty about our sexuality and partial and full nudity no
We often take on dangerous jobs or activities never
We often have well above average intelligence yes
We immerse ourselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration and highly technical vocations. no
We are extremely competitive or extremely non-competitive with no middle ground no
We are very imaginative daydreamers no
We display self destructive behavior no
We possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc. yes
We are anti-war and anti death penalty yes
We have the need for more than usual privacy in our  lives no
We are very unlikely to fight or have a physical confrontation no
We gave deep seated hatred of authority no
We have on and off battles with clinical depression no
We are easily able to place people by the sounds of their voice yes
We are able to easily read peoples emotions yes
We excel in reading and writing at an early age but have difficulty with mathematics yes
We often have suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts occasionally

only 6 out of 26.....related to me...

[Just Mandy]

Thanks for the responses everyone. It was just interesting to me to see how in MY case many of
these traits seem to fit and to see how GID has shaped my life. I know everyone is different (
that's what makes us great right?)  and maybe I'm just a more textbook example like some of you that
also had many of the traits. Also, (I did not post it before sorry), the handout said you may see some
or all of these traits in yourself.

Meghan, I do think I have a MUCH better understanding of myself the past six months, but I'm still learning,
still thinking, still feeling my way along. I'm not there yet but I'm in a pretty good place right now and happier than
I've been in years, probably ever. I know I have a long way to go and there will be some valleys but this feels
so right that I don't even think about those anymore and try to focus on the positives.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great day!

[Keira]

Got all of them, except extreme shyness, I'm very very good at math
and never attempted suicide.

[annajasmine]

Are these suppose to be permanent traits or are they something that goes away with therapy and transition. These are the ones I really like to get rid of . I surprised that low self esteem is not one of them or hatred of ones voice.

We have a primarily cope with the condition by shutting down all emotions
We have an inability to discuss deep feelings with others
We are very insecure
We have very few, if any, close friends, prefers to spend time alone
We exhibit extreme shyness at times
We have a hatred of (and inattention to) our appearance
We often have inattention to health issues
We display self destructive behavior
We have on and off battles with clinical depression
We often have suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts


Anna

[carol_w]

Wow.  This is good.  It doesn't describe me completely, but close. 

We have a primarily cope with the condition by shutting down all emotions - check
We have an inability to discuss deep feelings with others - check (BIG problem)
We are very insecure - check
We have very few, if any, close friends, prefers to spend time alone - check (BIG problem)
We exhibit extreme shyness at times - check
We have a hatred of (and inattention to) our appearance - check
We avoid pictures and videos of ourselves -check
We often have inattention to health issues -check
We have extreme modesty about our sexuality and partial and full nudity - check (even with spouse)
We often take on dangerous jobs or activities - NOOOO - I'm freakin' scared
We often have well above average intelligence -check
We immerse ourselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration and highly technical vocations. - check
We are extremely competitive or extremely non-competitive with no middle ground - double check
We are very imaginative daydreamers - double check, too
We display self destructive behavior - somewhat
We possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc. - check
We are anti-war and anti death penalty - NOOO!  I'm too much a person from the South
We have the need for more than usual privacy in our  lives - check
We are very unlikely to fight or have a physical confrontation - check (major problem with spouse)
We gave deep seated hatred of authority - check
We have on and off battles with clinical depression - check
We are easily able to place people by the sounds of their voice - check
We are able to easily read peoples emotions - check
We excel in reading and writing at an early age but have difficulty with mathematics - no - I'm pretty good at math
We often have suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts - double check, particularly in last 5 years

I'm going to share this with my therapist.  I'm sure he'll find it interesting.  Thanks for sharing this, Amanda!!

Carol

[Just Mandy]

I read the handout to mean that these are traits that a TS MAY present with prior to
transition. I know for myself I feel much more secure although I would still call myself
insecure. I'm taking better care of my health, I spend a lot more time on my appearance now
and I like seeing my self pictures for the first time in my life. I know I'm not beautiful but in my
eyes I'm "right" now. I'm also more than likely to share deep feelings. So yea, I'd say these things
change somewhat, at least for me.

What about anyone else, did these traits change the further along you got?

Posted on: March 25, 2008, 09:36:47 AM

I'm going to share this with my therapist.  I'm sure he'll find it interesting.  Thanks for sharing this, Amanda!!

Carol

Your welcome, it explained so many things for me.