Why didn't you have a wife?

[Butterfly]

I still have to meet a couple straight or gay that doesn't have sex particularly if they are married. 

Statistics tell a different story. 16% of married Americans have not had sex in the last month.

In the last month? ~laugh~ what about during their entire married lives?

[tekla]

Its a well known fact that marriage often cures nymphomania.

[tinkerbell]

It isn't in me to be with a woman in a sexual level.  It's never happened and never will.

But you haven't met Melissa90299 yet!    LOL  That's what she said to me when I posted the same thing on a different thread.  What can I say? dreaming doesn't cost anything... >

tink

[NicholeW.]

It isn't in me to be with a woman in a sexual level.  It's never happened and never will.

But you haven't met Melissa90299 yet!    LOL  That's what she said to me when I posted the same thing on a different thread.  What can I say? dreaming doesn't cost anything... >

O I am sure that any of us would go to bed with Melissa 90299 in a heartbeat, we just don't want to admit it!! Go on, Tink!!

Nichole

BTW, Lisa. How do they get those up-to-the-month statistics? Those guys must really work hard!!

N~

[tinkerbell]

It isn't in me to be with a woman in a sexual level.  It's never happened and never will.

But you haven't met Melissa90299 yet!    LOL  That's what she said to me when I posted the same thing on a different thread.  What can I say? dreaming doesn't cost anything... >

tink

ooohhhh....youre not saying youre unbanning her are you?

Of course not! LOL    She's banned for the year!  But on second thoughts..hmmm...

Kidding! 

tink

P.S.  Nichole, why don't you go first and let me know how it goes..  >

[NicholeW.]

P.S.  Nichole, why don't you go first and let me know how it goes..  >

O, I just couldn't do that, Tink!! Depriving another of the privilege!!? I just couldn't. Besides, its much closer for you and somehow I just don't see me going across the country just for the privilege. 

N~

[DarthKitty]

I'm about as likely today to have a wife as a husband, no I never got married, and no I never plan to.

Did it make me any less a man or authentic to not get married to a woman?  Hopefully no worse than it makes me less a woman or authentic to not get married to a man now.

Then again I'll probably wind up being one of those crazy cat-ladies that tries to marry her cat at 75 so she can leave her estate to it.

-Kit

[MeghanAndrews]

I felt female from an early age

Me too

in the knowledge that I wouldn't ever want to get married

You had to do what you had to do to survive, it's very cool that you figured it out so young.

and felt because of my condition it wouldn't be fair on the future lady concerned.

I haven't heard of that happening much, I'm glad it happened to you. Many people force themselves to do things they never thought they'd do to survive. It's just a part of life and growing up.

From about 13 onwards I dressed androgenously and had very long hair. Did anyone else take a similar path and avoid the marriage scenario altogether?

I had long hair many times, but I don't know how much of it was due to gender issues. I have always felt like I've known myself very well. My identity wasn't really defined by my clothing as much as my actions. I knew what was going on and I made a very conscious decision not to deal with it.

I don't think anyone really takes a similar path, you know, they all seem so varied and different. Like for me, I was ok pretending that I looked at girls the way others guys did. I was ok being married too. Like Kate said, since when is marriage defined by sexual interaction? I was married twice for a total of like 8 years and I could count on two hands the number of orgasms I had. It's funny how you can avoid situations you don't feel comfortable with and replace them with other things.

I think it's great that people can be honest with themselves from a young age and stuff, I feel like I did that to a large degree by the way I lived. Marriage is the legal union of two people who are supposed to love each other. I don't really think it matters whether someone "always knew they liked guys and couldn't think of being with a girl" in the larger scheme of things. Again, people can do amazing, amazing things including carrying on a charade about their sexual preference for many years. It happens to gay people all the time. You do what you have to do to survive.

At the root of marriage should be the ability to give someone your heart and have someone give you their's in return. It's hopefully an unconditional love. It knows no gender boundaries, it's not dependent on any conventional definitions, it's just these two people sharing and loving. That's a beautiful thing and I don't think it really reflects on someone good or bad as to whether they were ever married to a man or woman. What's the relationship based on, where is it today and how do both people feel about it. That, to me, is the true value in a relationship. Meghan

[samanthawhalen]

Shouldn't this thread be named "Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall"  

Aeron

[Berliegh]

Actually, Berleigh, I imagine that you and others who never married are just more 'real' or 'moral' than those of us who did.

That does always seem to be an angle lurking in that question.

But, I wouldn't give up my very 'real' children for all the estrogen in the world.

N~

I understand that Nichole and I suppose it was a reaction to all the ''my wife' threads. But I did have 3 long term girlfriends but I wasn't ever able to produce sperm, so it is heartbreaking not being able to produce children. I would have loved to have children and I do sometimes get tears when I see friends with their kids...You are vey lucky Nicole and so are all the other people who are able to have children...