i hope i am in the right place, and i hope my post makes sense to someone. i have searched this forum for information relative to my post's subject and i have found nothing. possibly my search terms were not correct, but be that as it may, i would like to enter into a discussion about heterosexual males who are attracted to TS/TG, view them as 100% women, and feel they are not homosexual, in the true sense of the word.
i have dated and had relationships for over 20 years now with TS/TG women. i live in Thailand and i found that i was attracted to them in the exact same way i am attracted to women. i have never had "homosexual tendencies" of any kind (i do not find men attractive in any sense of the word) . i have spoken to my TS friends about this and most of them say i am not gay/homosexual and that i am straight, yet we engage in "homosexual" activity as it is defined by our society. i still also date genetic women, and find that for me there is absolutely no difference in the thought processes involved in communicating and interacting with them as all being women of "equal stature". i either find them to be someone i wish to spend time with, or not.
i have obviously kept this a secret from my friends, family and employers all of these years because i fell there would be recriminations and problems if i did come out and reveal this side of myself to them. i am tired of living a half of a life and i want to get beyond all of this.
one problem i do have is that by virtue of living in a forgein country i am here as a guest which makes supporting one's self a bit mopre difficult than if i were at home in America. so i am reluctant to
"come out" because of that aspect (i could lose my job), and also i hear what comes out of people's mouths relative to TS/TG and i know that they are not tolerant or understanding at all in any regard, and it is frightening. i have tried to not let ridicule of another nature bother me in the past, but this is a level of abuse i do not think i am prepared for at this late stage in my life. (I am mid-50's now.)
i have tried to find research or discussion about folks like myself and where we "fit in" to this equation of our society, what the medical establishment has discovered or learned about people like myself, and i have gotten nowhere. i hope that if i can find something that will put this all into perspective i will not be so restless and unsettled, and maybe one day i will get over my phobia of (possibly) being an outcast and get on with my life, and possibly have a fulfilling relationship with the person of my choice. i currently do not allow myself that luxury as i know i am all confused and not in the proper state of mind emotionally to make a commitment to someone who has reached that level of emotional maturity to get on with their life as they see fit.
if anyone understands my question and has any info, personal experiences to relate or knows where i can find such info please let me know. thanks.
