Came out to my EX-H today also

[sneakersjay]

He was cool with it, said it explained a lot of things, he didn't find it freakish, but of course with the qualifier: You're not going to do anything, right?  (I'm assuming he meant transition).  I just told him I was in therapy. 

So, major people I'm outed to: kids and ex.

Next up: brother.

Jay

[Janet_Girl]

Where the hell he does get off with "You're not going to do anything, right?" ?  Like he can do anything about it. Sounds like my ex.  It isn't their life, its ours.  Or are you still involved with him?

Good for you to be out to the kids and him.

Much Love,
Janet

[buttercup]

Family and exes can come out with the funniest lines.  I hope all goes well with brother.  Good luck! 

[sneakersjay]

I don't think he was telling me what to do or not do so much as just expressing his feelings about the whole thing. If you knew me in real life that would probably be your reaction also, as I do NOT DO things that would make me public or make people look at me.  In fact, that was my initial reaction as well.  Kind of, okay, it's cool, I can bind and get a packy and nobody has to know except me! 

But as you know it doesn't work that way, LOL.  Now I *have* to transition and it is as natural as breathing to me, but I'm >2 months into transition and therapy.

I am not involved with my ex in any way except that we coparent our kids (50:50 custody) and we have remained friendly after the initial post-divorce animosity.

So I'm proceeding with transition...testosterone is on the horizon!!

Jay

[Janet_Girl]

I understand the whole 'remaining unseen' thing.  I'm the same way,  but come Thursday that will change.  Its my first trip to the 'real' world.  I'm going to surprise my therapist by showing up in my entirety, not just 'boy' mode.

Amber, If you read it.  Don't tell Reid anything please.

Much Love and good luck with your brother,

Janet

[sneakersjay]

My ex called today and said he's been horrifically depressed since I told him and has no idea what to think or do.  I sent him some info which he 'can't' read, he's too upset.  I think he's very concerned about what his family and neighbors will think, because his ex-wife is trans.

He hinted that 'nobody has to know, it's nobody's business' and 'well you're moving to Texas anyway'.  I told him I'd find him some family resources and he could talk to his therapist.   He's had depression for years.

Anwyay, it's not about him, and I'm not responsible for his happiness (G*D knows I tried during our marriage! LOL).

Jay

[NicholeW.]

My ex called today and said he's been horrifically depressed since I told him and has no idea what to think or do.  I sent him some info which he 'can't' read, he's too upset.  I think he's very concerned about what his family and neighbors will think, because his ex-wife is trans.

He hinted that 'nobody has to know, it's nobody's business' and 'well you're moving to Texas anyway'.  I told him I'd find him some family resources and he could talk to his therapist.   He's had depression for years.

Anwyay, it's not about him, and I'm not responsible for his happiness (G*D knows I tried during our marriage! LOL).

Jay

I think you are absolutely right on that, Jay.

Plus, add the possible idea that he's also reacting to "I've been going to bed with another MAN for all that time!!"

It's fairly easy, I think, for us to put cis-gendered/cis-sexualed people "off their feed" when they find out they've been bedding someone of the 'opposite' sex.

[sneakersjay]

Well, I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid.  He needs to educate himself, and I've sent him links.  That's about all I can do.

Jay