At the Equality Virginia conference today, I was in a transgender caucus, and we talked ID -- how arbitrary and unpredictable government workers can be when it comes to gendering us, no matter how we play by their rules (or not). Because often they don't even know their own rules concerning us.
I expressed dread that my 18-month grace period for my pre-op F will expire next year before I'll have a chance to get SRS (losing my job before I had a chance to finance it pulled the rug out from under my SRS timetable). I heard from another lady named Michelle that the DMV compares your DL record with Social Security, and uses whatever gender the Social Security record has on it. I lucked out when a nice lady at the SSA gave me an F just for the asking (though technically she wasn't supposed to, I must have caught her in a good mood--it was the end of the day on Friday before a beautiful autumn weekend). So that gives me hope, if when I renew my license next year and write F on the application form, they pull an F from my Social Security record and go with that. Knock on wood!
My girlfriend was with me and said, "You can just tell the Virginia DMV that they have to obey the federal government because it's above them." I said, "Uh, remember how Virginia had a bit of an issue with that back in 1861..."