Oprah: Don't Ask. Don't Care.

[Shana A]

Oprah: Don't Ask. Don't Care.
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by Martha E. Flores

http://www.hofmag.com/content/view/370/62/

Los Angeles, California - August, 2007

When I first saw the email with the subject line "Oprah Is Not Gay," I dismissed it. A few minutes later, I saw the same headline on Yahoo News' "Most Emailed Stories." Later I heard a TV promo for Access Hollywood or Entertainment Tonight telling viewers Oprah was not gay and to watch tonight for the complete story.

What story? She's not gay! What's the issue? Apparently, there was one, and I was missing it so I went back to the original email with Oprah's declaration. Because of the avalanche of speculation about her close friendship with Gayle King, Oprah decided to squelch the rumors in the August issue of O, The Oprah Magazine.

[NicholeW.]

What a good essay. And the insinuation that someone, especially a successful, unmarried woman, is 'gay' is absolutely used as a means to control.

Ya know, three things never seem to be part of the conversation of the "she's gay" groups who go about their whisper campaigns evidently trying to undermine women like Oprah or Hillary. 1) Women tend to 'identify' our sexuality based on with whom we are in-love. Not always a set-in-stone identity that never, ever changes. 2) What is the past of such women? Are there some reasons they might have issues of trust with males? Were they inflicted with sexual abuse in their childhoods or with other sorts of abuse that might have lead to a decision: I will not trust someone like that with my life and health ever again. 3) WTF does it matter what sexual-preference/orientation someone has? Does it make them less valid one way or another? Does it discount their words or actions, their abilities in any way at all? I'll answer "not at all."

Y'all can answer those questions any way ya want or not at all. If Oprah's in-love with Gayle King and vice versa, then so be it. Good for them! Good for us as well!! as love seems like a commodity often missing among people in this world. A bit more is great.

Besides, isn't it great to know that being a lesbian doesn't consign a woman automatically to having to wear a mullet and to drinking cheap beer for the rest of her life?

Thank you, Mother!!

N~

[mickie88]

Besides, isn't it great to know that being a lesbian doesn't consign a woman automatically to having to wear a mullet and to drinking cheap beer for the rest of her life?



eeeeewwww, a mullet? (Mickie runs away screaming)

i think you said it quite well, Nichole, what does it matter? it shouldn't. it's her life, not ours and she chooses how she decides to share it with us. if i remember right, i thought i watched a show where Oprah had sais she was abused when she was younger, but that doesn't make anyone gay, it makes them have usually trust issues with the person that abused them, and sometimes other members of that same sex. people will read anything...



Warrior Princess Mickie

[Ell]

i'm not at all what you'd call an Oprah-watching person. Eww...!

but Martha E. Flores' remark, i think, is very well said:

"does it matter if Oprah, Hilary, Condi or Jodie are gay, straight or transgender? It most definitely matters to those with whom they are intimate. But it shouldn't matter so much to the general public.

Being gay should carry no more weight when describing someone than saying the person has blue eyes or an aptitude for math. It is part of that person's makeup, but does not supersede all other characteristics."

people have mistaken me for gay many times (turns out i'm bi), and the ensuing hatred and loss of friendship was a cause of great pain for me. now, years later, i realize that they probably would not have cut me any more slack for being bi than gay, and i just need to accept their hateful discrimination as a proud letter holder within the GBLT. if anybody doesn't like it, too bad!

actually, i don't know what the point of what i'm saying is, because, you know, i get a lot of hate and discrimination from the G and L letters in that handy little umbrella acronym, also.     

so, nevermind!

-Ellie

ps.,
which is to say, i don't care if Oprah's G or L, because they're mean (to B and T). sometimes.

[fae_reborn]

3) WTF does it matter what sexual-preference/orientation someone has? Does it make them less valid one way or another? Does it discount their words or actions, their abilities in any way at all? I'll answer "not at all."

It's because the media doesn't have anything better to do than report news that isn't really news.  Being gay, straight, bi, lesbian, trans, etc. doesn't make anyone less valid or less of a human being (although some would tell you different, they're just ignorant).

Oprah probably made this into a story because she's worried about her reputation, that's all.  She doesn't want people saying things and spreading rumors that aren't true.  One more reason not to become a rich and famous television hostess.

Besides, isn't it great to know that being a lesbian doesn't consign a woman automatically to having to wear a mullet and to drinking cheap beer for the rest of her life?

LMAO!!!!!   

Exactly!  I'm right there with you Nichole.

Lesbians - 1, Stereotypes - 0

[Lisbeth]

Oprah probably made this into a story because she's worried about her reputation, that's all.  She doesn't want people saying things and spreading rumors that aren't true.

Or even spreading rumors if they are true.

[Shana A]

Besides, isn't it great to know that being a lesbian doesn't consign a woman automatically to having to wear a mullet and to drinking cheap beer for the rest of her life?

Hey, Corona ain't that cheap 

Actually, I prefer red wine 

actually, i don't know what the point of what i'm saying is, because, you know, i get a lot of hate and discrimination from the G and L letters in that handy little umbrella acronym, also.     

Yes, discrimination is discrimination, whatever the reason, L, G, B, T, black, white, female, etc. People make stupid assumptions about each other based on labels, and I've had enough of it already.

It's because the media doesn't have anything better to do than report news that isn't really news. 

Right, approx 98% of news isn't news at all! Just sensationalism crafted to sell advertising of stuff that we don't need anyway.

Z

[fae_reborn]

Oprah probably made this into a story because she's worried about her reputation, that's all.  She doesn't want people saying things and spreading rumors that aren't true.

Or even spreading rumors if they are true.

Exactly

Actually, I prefer red wine 

Me too!  I much prefer enjoying a glass of wine with some girlfriends over a bottle of beer. 

Right, approx 98% of news isn't news at all! Just sensationalism crafted to sell advertising of stuff that we don't need anyway.

Don't believe everything you hear, most of it isn't true, or you don't need to hear it.

[NicholeW.]

Besides, isn't it great to know that being a lesbian doesn't consign a woman automatically to having to wear a mullet and to drinking cheap beer for the rest of her life?

Hey, Corona ain't that cheap 

Actually, I prefer red wine 
Z

You're right, Corona ain't cheap.

But, I do find it cheap: I don't drink beer, period. That keeps the price way down for me.

Gimme a margarita, a nice glass of wine (white or red, as long as its dry or, in the case of some Rhenish wines, not cloyingly sweet) especially as long as the wine fits the fabulous dinner you're treating me to and I am good-to-go!!! 

N~

[Shana A]

Don't believe everything you hear, most of it isn't true, or you don't need to hear it.

LOL, then why do I post all this news anyway? 

Me too!  I much prefer enjoying a glass of wine with some girlfriends over a bottle of beer.  Wink

Gimme a margarita, a nice glass of wine (white or red, as long as its dry or, in the case of some Rhenish wines, not cloyingly sweet) especially as long as the wine fits the fabulous dinner you're treating me to and I am good-to-go!!! 

OK, so that's three of us so far who prefer wine. No one has spoken up to say they prefer cheap beer

Z

[tekla]

I love cheap beer.  Bud, PBR, Schafer - its so Un-PC here where everyone wants some unfiltered wheat ale, or double hops stuff - give me the swill.  Except down the street at the brew pub where they make something called Pliny the Elder with an 8% ABV, its an ass kicker.

I do love wine, and the only down side to that is that I live where that's pretty cheap too.  I can get bottles here in Sonoma and Napa for about half of what you girls are paying for them on the other coast.  Then they put them on sale if they have too much, so even less.  And when I go to the winery I get a flat 15% discount per case on top of that.  And most of the winery's will let you mix and match the case, so four whites, four reds and some white zin (my fav) and a rose or two.

But my real love is the stuff from Domaine Chandon.  Which is not cheap.

[Ell]

I love cheap beer.  Bud, PBR, Schafer - its so Un-PC here where everyone wants some unfiltered wheat ale, or double hops stuff - give me the swill.  Except down the street at the brew pub where they make something called Pliny the Elder with an 8% ABV, its an ass kicker.

I do love wine, and the only down side to that is that I live where that's pretty cheap too.  I can get bottles here in Sonoma and Napa for about half of what you girls are paying for them on the other coast.  Then they put them on sale if they have too much, so even less.  And when I go to the winery I get a flat 15% discount per case on top of that.  And most of the winery's will let you mix and match the case, so four whites, four reds and some white zin (my fav) and a rose or two.

But my real love is the stuff from Domaine Chandon.  Which is not cheap.

cheap beer is somewhat acceptable, i think, if it has a halfway decent buzz. Pabst Blue Ribbon is very cheap beer, but a has a nice, strange litle buzz, which makes it ok. Budweiser is very cheap beer also, in my opinion, but it has a pronounced, drowsy buzz, which is very good for relaxing. and let's face it, lots of people in the US need to relax.

but i honestly would not touch any of that stuff if i had any good beer in the place. such as, Red Stripe, Kirin, Asahi (Japanese version, not the Canadian "equivalent"), Grohlsch, ESB, Tsingtao.

[NicholeW.]

When I used to drink it I was partial to Bayerisches Bier: Spaten, Paulaner, Augustiner -- forget the American version of Loewenbraeu -- it was merely that, American beer.

But it's literally been well over a decade. Can you even get those three in America outside of NYC, Philly, Chicago, LA and SF?

N~

[tekla]

I think my trouble is that I think beer is the new water - if I'm going to have one, I'm going to have at least 12 - you know, 24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day --- Coincidence???  I think NOT.  Back in the tour days I had them stock the bus with Leinenkugel's from Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin or else the old school Stroh's when they made it in Detroit.  But if you going to have all that beer, the heavy stuff is not what you want.

I went to a Catholic high school that was the only one in Sonoma Country, back before wine was some yuppie deal, back when only the old line Italian families made it, and of course, they sent their kids to Catholic School.  So I knew a lot about wine before I went to college.  And its hard to live here and not keep up on it, its the big local industry and all.

So, cheap beer when I'm buying, real expensive champagne or sparkling wine (champagne comes only from grapes grown in the Champagne region of France, all else is Sparkling Wine) if someone else is buying.

[Maebh]

So, cheap beer when I'm buying, real expensive champagne or sparkling wine (champagne comes only from grapes grown in the Champagne region of France, all else is Sparkling Wine) if someone else is buying.

The only Champagnes I can drink are "Veuve Cliquot Ponsardin" Étiquette Noire, "Ruinard" Demi-sec, or "Lanson" Rosé. I quite like "Clairette de Die" too. But to tell you the truth I prefer any good Muscatel "Asti Spumente" to any "Moet & Chandon", "Mum Cordon Rouge" or even "Dom Pérignon" Millésimé or not. So if you want to take me out and get me drunk while treating me like a Lady, I won't cost you a fortune!

LLL&R

Maebh

PS:As for Beers no-one can beat the Belgians, "Steila Artois" of course, "Trapiste" or the aptly named "Gueuse Mort Subite". The French  manage OK with "Kronenbourg" or "Kanterbrau". In Germany I used to drink gallons of "Spattenbrau". Of course in Ireland we do quite well with "Guinness", "Murphy" or  "Beamish" Stouts, "Harp" Lager, "Mac Cardle", "Smithwick" or "Kilkenny" Ales and of course, the one named after me, "Maeve's brew". Lastly the Corsican beer (Bira Corsa) "Pietra" made from chestnuts is a worthy experience.

   Slaínte

PPS: No need to mention English beers: "Cat's piss"

[tekla]

Steila Artois is known where I work as "The Belgian Bud."  It's OK, but I like the German ones if I have to, local microbrews when it matters.  Bud, because its everywhere.  And, after years in dive bars doing bands, I know only too well that nothing is foolproof - because fools are so damn cleaver - but the lowest risk order is a bottle of Bud, because its going to be a lot fresher than the expensive stuff that no one ever buys.

And I like the Domine Chandon because its local, and I try to support the people in my area first.  But Perrier Jouët Fleur de Champagne Blanc de Blancs and the  Taittinger Comtes de Champagne Rosé and the local Alexander Valley Vineyards Two Barrel are also very good.

[Maebh]

In Lieges the Chamber of Commerce organises Business Networking Meetings in the Steila Artois Breweries every Friday lunchtimes . Now that is a great way to finish a hard week's work with a pocket full of business cards and no recollection of who these people were and what their business was.
But then you have a great excuse to ring them first thing on Monday morning to try to find out! 

LLL&R

Maebh

[tekla]

We just clear out the dressing rooms when we're done.  Its free.

[Maebh]

The lunch and the beer are free too!  >
They even call you a Taxi if you can't drive afterwards.
Now that's what I call a civilised way to do business.

LLL&R

Maebh

[Shana A]

hmmmm, gotta love the turns a thread can take sometimes... Oprah... lesbians... wine and beer... 

Hope I don't have to find my mod hat   

Zythyra