Quote from: HelenW on July 09, 2006, 09:54:22 AM
We had a long thread about what we wouldn't miss about being a boy or girl once we transitioned. But what have we taken or what will we take with us that we want to keep?
What did you learn through transition that you think you wouldn't have if you were born cisgendered? What, specifically, do you think you know that a GG or a GB wouldn't?
Do you think it's an advantage? How?
I'm not far enough along to fully say what I have learned (besides the facts about transsexualism) for sure except that I now know how thoroughly some people can fool themselves 
.
helen
What did I learn... Well...
One of the things that I have learned is that human nature is a funny thing, and works in many mysterious ways. I think that we all face this or will face it sooner or later. People do the darndest things. I often thought that I was a fairly good judge of character but during my own coming out process I discovered that I was not as intuitive as I thought. Those who I thought would shun me didn't and those who I thought would be ok with my transition weren't. This only happened a couple of times, but I was surprised when it did.
The other aspect that I have learned is that honesty pays off, even though it may initially cause pain and even heart break, we have to be honest. I have learned that you must first be honest with yourself as living a lie is not living. Once I was at ease and true to myself then I was able to face others honestly especially my family.
I guess another important aspect I learned is that two way communication is critical. Communicating what and how I was feeling, communicating my thoughts, my fears, my wants, my needs, my hopes and dreams, and to go along with that I learned that I needed to listen, listen and understand the same from those who are important to me. Listen to my family, my friends, my colleagues but most importantly I learned to listened to my heart.
I learned that to be respected I needed to respect others, even though we did not necessarily see eye to eye on issues. I learned to respect their views, their motives, their reasoning and their beliefs. i also learned that respect doesn't mean agreement.
I learned that friends, true friends will always be there for you no matter what. Willing to share where they can even if it is just answering the phone in the middle of the night when the dark clouds roll in. I learned that friends will support you, help you, and be there for you when times get rough. I learned that friends who shun you weren't my friends at all, just merely acquaintances.
And I guess I learned that my transition would not come without sacrifices. I learned that I had to be willing to sacrifice friends and acquaintances, income and employment, house and home, but most importantly I learned that my transition could sacrifice my family.
I think that the most important thing I've learned is to count my blessings and not take life for granted, and I've learned to be thankful to those who have supported me, those who have stood by me, those who have helped me, and those who have encouraged me. But most of all I have learned to cherish my wonderful wife and soul mate Gillian, as without her my life and transition would have been hell.
Steph
