I'm 33, married with a 2-year-old son. I've always felt that I was "supposed to be a girl," and just the other day my wife told me that I have a lot of "good feminine qualities." She knows that before we were together, I experimented with dressing and dating men while dressed. I also have dated mtf and ftm tg folks in the past (and still find them attractive). A few years ago I told her I wanted to transition, and it went BADLY. So now I'm deep back in the closet, even though those thoughts are racing through my head constantly.
One idea that has more appeal to me these days is taking hormones but still presenting myself as a man. Maybe it's the kinky side of me, but I sort of dig the idea of being a big, bearded guy who is hiding feminine curves under his clothes.
But my mind is totally a mess.. I'm looking for a therapist, but I'd love to talk to other people who want to express aspects of both genders...