i hate my penis

[Bobbie LeAnn]

it hasn't bothered me so much in the past couple of years, but lately i've had a strong urge to cut it off with a chainsaw.

I know exactly how you feel. I try my best to "Not" see it when changing clothes or getting dressed. I hate it with a passion.

i know haw ya feel, but u dont wanna do that, ull bleed to death. ur best bet princess is just to get on hormones and do what we all do which is surgery.

You make it sound so easy. It's not. I am on hormones and have transitioned into a fairly nice looking lady for my age. BUT! that is as far as I will probably ever be able to transition is just by taking hormones. I have disability insurance and as far as I can tell it will cover sex reassignment surgery but there are no surgeons that take it and if by some miracle I found one who did I can't afford the trip to go see them. I can't tell you how many times I cry myself to sleep thinking about it and wishing I could afford it.
Not only that but I have a self adopted son that has an intellectual disability and I can't leave him. He's 23 but his real mom and dad never sent him to school. He has never even seen the inside of a school. He can't read or write and try as he might he can't pass a driving test so I have to be here to drive him to work every day.

I'm sorry but it's not as simple as just taking hormones and having surgery.

Now I feel bad and I think I'll cry myself to sleep.

[Geena]

Hi all.  I am new to transitioning.  I started my journey on 20 November 2017 when I managed to be castrated by telling little fibs to a urologist about chronic pain.  I then saw a GP specialising in LGBT who put me on eostrogen.  So, no testicles to produce testosterone and I am on female hormones.  Yes I hate my penis.  I have started the road to SRS.  Seeing a psych in a few weeks.  And then back to the urologist.  I a married with kids.  I am 63 years old.  Have a footballer build and will make an ugly woman, but a woman at least.  I look forward to having a vagina and being more female, having to sit to pee, no erections (and no penis!!).  My boobs are slowly developing (like a pubescent young teen girl right now).  Will need a 'boob tube' soon.  I must keep my male persona for work, not to do so may result in my not having work!!  Yes, I hate my penis.  Yes I want it gone.

My real issue is that while I have never considered myself gay, I do like both men and women.  So I guess as a woman I will be bisexual.

I remain confused about this.

[Dena]

Not only that but I have a self adopted son that has an intellectual disability and I can't leave him. He's 23 but his real mom and dad never sent him to school. He has never even seen the inside of a school. He can't read or write and try as he might he can't pass a driving test so I have to be here to drive him to work every day.

In 1981 Johnny Cash made a movie about a man who was unable to read. It sticks in my mind because it covers the process of teaching an adult how to read. It took a little digging but I found a link to the move (below). If you google "teaching adults to read and write" you will find many resources and the local school board may also be able to help you out. Even adults with Dyslexia can be taught to read and write. It is difficult but because adults already have a large vocabulary, the process can go much faster than it would for a child with a more limited vocabulary.

[Dena]

Hi all.  I am new to transitioning.  I started my journey on 20 November 2017 when I managed to be castrated by telling little fibs to a urologist about chronic pain.  I then saw a GP specialising in LGBT who put me on eostrogen.  So, no testicles to produce testosterone and I am on female hormones.  Yes I hate my penis.  I have started the road to SRS.  Seeing a psych in a few weeks.  And then back to the urologist.  I a married with kids.  I am 63 years old.  Have a footballer build and will make an ugly woman, but a woman at least.  I look forward to having a vagina and being more female, having to sit to pee, no erections (and no penis!!).  My boobs are slowly developing (like a pubescent young teen girl right now).  Will need a 'boob tube' soon.  I must keep my male persona for work, not to do so may result in my not having work!!  Yes, I hate my penis.  Yes I want it gone.

My real issue is that while I have never considered myself gay, I do like both men and women.  So I guess as a woman I will be bisexual.

I remain confused about this.

Welcome to Susan's Place Geena. Gender identity and sexual preference are two separate things. The only thing that determines if you are transgender is if your uncomfortable with your gender identity. As further proof of this, we have many married MTFs on this site who remained with their wife throughout their transition. It's an interesting play on words because they were heterosexual and they ended up lesbian without a change in their sexual preference. As you haven't seen a therapist yet, you might find "the transition channel" helpful. Feel free to ask any questions you might have and I think you will receive answers to just about any question you might have.

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