Brady, your posts worry me. I hope you aren't offended but I would like to respond. The first and most important thing is you aren't happy with the current situation. This the warning sign you need to learn to listen to. Regardless of what you decide you need to pay attention to the voice inside you that is saying something not right. Your feelings are not wrong. Oh I am only on Brady's side here, if the relationship is meant to work out it will but Brady you need to learn how to be in a healthy relationship.
The fact that you say you can't live without this man is very telling. You are fully able to live emotionally and physically without him. If this is how you are feeling you need to at minimum set healthier boundaries and if you can't you need to take a break and address this is therapy. Being so involved with someone that you lose yourself is unhealthy.
Relationships are always a matter of give and take; but if you are expecting your partner to change you aren't loving your partner. If you say to him this is important for me and he can't or won't do it, you have to decide whether you will give this up for him. In the end the reason people do or don't stay together is if what they give up in is less important then what they keep. It is alright to love someone and say that they aren't the right person for you. Being in a committed relationship is one of the biggest connections in the world and it can't happen with everyone.
You mention that you trust him but also say he has to check in with you for you to be comfortable. I would really encourage you to think about that. If you trusted that he wasn't with someone else you wouldn't need confirmation but you risk being wrong. It sounds like you are fearing his loss and being hurt. Fearing these things will damage your relationship and will not change whether he is trustworthy or not.
In fairness I have broken up with people who were acting like this because I am not prepared to sacrifice my mental health to be in an unhealthy relationship. While I do want to be connected to the person I am dating, I do not want the person to lose them self in me nor me in them. I am not loving them if I let them destroy them self. Martyrs don't make good partners. I have also reacted with rebellion when I felt controlled by a partner.
I think it is good you are recognizing that you are lonely and seeking reassurance. It isn't very fair for your partner not to see that you need this reassurance. I personally would look at why you are feeling so isolated. A partner is never a substitute for friends, family and a life. If for someone it must be freely or else it will destroy your relationship. I hope you did not give up your dreams for this man. In addition no loving partner would encourage you to give up your dreams.
I have had healthy relationships with people who danced, were in the sex trade worker, waitresses, bar tenders and other professions that were sexually charged environments where I trusted my partner and they didn't betray me. The trust has to be there no matter what they do otherwise something isn't right.
As for barking like a dog... it does sound like your partner is frustrated by this as well.
Having read through, this is my take. Sorry for the length and if I am totally off base just ignore me. Trapthavok point is very good.
->-bleeped-<-boy
