Quite Shocking

[Sarah Dreams]

This is quite shocking to me and wonderous just the same. Since I discovered Susan's and especially since I started posting here, a delightful thing has happened. My depression has lifted somewhat. I had been letting myself go: Gaining weight, not shaving my face, rarely showering and generally not caring about my appearance at all.

Now, I am taking greater pride in my appearance. I have been back to the manicurist, I've shaved my beard and brushed my hair. It all seems like I'm back on a road I diverted from years ago. Ultimately, I'd like to go all the way to the goal of complete transition, but I doubt that can be achieved
given my current life. Yet, I will walk the path as far as I can and maybe the doors of perception will be opened and I can continue to realize what Sarah dreams: she in the light of day, no longer hiding in the shadows.

[sarahb]

Good for you.

Hey, you never know where things will end up. Especially after being on the road for a while you may just find yourself in the position to go full-time. I remember saying the same thing a couple years ago when I first started out, thinking I could never go the whole way, either due to insecurity, fear, or all of the above. Good luck with your transition, however far you go.

[Kaitlyn]

That's terrific, Sarah!  Just watch out for the inevitable tumble down the other side of the hill.  There are a lot of ups and downs on this path. 

[Osiris]

Susan's is great like that.

Once you find a place where you can just be yourself it spreads into the rest of your life.

[CC]

Sarah,

As we've realized you and I have similar situations but are in different places in the process. So I would like to recommend again that you find a good Gender Therapist and talk to them. They have much insight into what you are going through and can share with you all the alternatives to having Sarah be a part or all of your life. Suffering alone and doing anything versus transitioning are not the only options.

Please, for your health and safety, call a therapist Hon. You will never regret it.

Sent With Peace, Happiness & Acceptance For All

[iFindMeHere]

Those good moments are awesome. Remember them deeply and mentally go back to them should a downturn appear.

[vanessalaw]

Sarah that's fantastic! I'm excited to hear about your breakthrough.

Hugs,
Vanessa

[Sarah Dreams]

Thank you all so much. It means the world to me, really. I don't get this kind of support at home. At home I have to hide the real me and act masculine and manly. Which is not so hard given that I've had a lot of practice at it, but it is not real comfortable.

At night, when I am up late and everyone has gone to bed, I can relax a bit and act like I want to. My wife once bought me a beautiful unisex robe. She bought it for me because of its luxury. I wear it because of its femininity. She has no idea. It is a thin black silk that feels delicious and is the closest thing to crossdressing I can get away with. I have a feeling, though, that I'll be pushing the envelope in the days to come.

Thanks to your support, I feel emboldened to express more of me to the world. I am still very fearful, but I think with your help I can overcome this.