This is quite shocking to me and wonderous just the same. Since I discovered Susan's and especially since I started posting here, a delightful thing has happened. My depression has lifted somewhat. I had been letting myself go: Gaining weight, not shaving my face, rarely showering and generally not caring about my appearance at all.

Now, I am taking greater pride in my appearance. I have been back to the manicurist, I've shaved my beard and brushed my hair. It all seems like I'm back on a road I diverted from years ago. Ultimately, I'd like to go all the way to the goal of complete transition, but I doubt that can be achieved
given my current life. Yet, I will walk the path as far as I can and maybe the doors of perception will be opened and I can continue to realize what Sarah dreams: she in the light of day, no longer hiding in the shadows.

Good for you.

Hey, you never know where things will end up. Especially after being on the road for a while you may just find yourself in the position to go full-time. I remember saying the same thing a couple years ago when I first started out, thinking I could never go the whole way, either due to insecurity, fear, or all of the above. Good luck with your transition, however far you go.

That's terrific, Sarah!  Just watch out for the inevitable tumble down the other side of the hill.  There are a lot of ups and downs on this path. 

Susan's is great like that.

Once you find a place where you can just be yourself it spreads into the rest of your life.

Sarah,

As we've realized you and I have similar situations but are in different places in the process. So I would like to recommend again that you find a good Gender Therapist and talk to them. They have much insight into what you are going through and can share with you all the alternatives to having Sarah be a part or all of your life. Suffering alone and doing anything versus transitioning are not the only options.

Please, for your health and safety, call a therapist Hon. You will never regret it.

Sent With Peace, Happiness & Acceptance For All

Those good moments are awesome. Remember them deeply and mentally go back to them should a downturn appear.

Sarah that's fantastic! I'm excited to hear about your breakthrough.

Hugs,
Vanessa

Thank you all so much. It means the world to me, really. I don't get this kind of support at home. At home I have to hide the real me and act masculine and manly. Which is not so hard given that I've had a lot of practice at it, but it is not real comfortable.

At night, when I am up late and everyone has gone to bed, I can relax a bit and act like I want to. My wife once bought me a beautiful unisex robe. She bought it for me because of its luxury. I wear it because of its femininity. She has no idea. It is a thin black silk that feels delicious and is the closest thing to crossdressing I can get away with. I have a feeling, though, that I'll be pushing the envelope in the days to come.

Thanks to your support, I feel emboldened to express more of me to the world. I am still very fearful, but I think with your help I can overcome this.