Gender and Confrontation

[iFindMeHere]

Hi, I'm Lane and I'm an FTM transsexual. WOOT!

OK! So I've been told I'm "a confrontational person" in the past. Got me in tonnnnnns of trouble. I've minimised that behavior because I feel the best ideas are brought out in cooperative environments--I gave up on trying "not to get in trouble" because it never works. If it's not one thing it's your mother! (that's a joke folks)

But I'm wondering... do people think that confrontation is a "more acceptable" "male" behavior?

[NicholeW.]

Hi, sweetie, it's been awhile since we've had a confrontation, Lane.

I'd have to say that confrontation is generally more socially acceptable and even expected from men than from women.

Nikki

[iFindMeHere]

Nikki you know you're my SHEro whether we agree or not. 

Don't worry--this won't be permission to hare off shouting at folks.

[NicholeW.]

I have no fears, Lane. You have been doing eversomuch better that I, anyway, trust you to keep it lite and breezy. 

And thanks so much for the kind words as well.



Nikki

[Nero]

what Nikki said. a confrontational or in some cases merely assertive woman can be seen as threatening and bitchy while the exact same behaviour in a man escapes all notice.

[iFindMeHere]

I have no fears, Lane. You have been doing eversomuch better that I, anyway, trust you to keep it lite and breezy. 

And thanks so much for the kind words as well.



Nikki

Having been played a cosmic joke, I have to learn to laugh sometimes or it's the madhouse for me. They're coming to take me away, ha ha, ho ho, hee hee....

I don't give kind words unless i mean them

[Wendy C]

The words Hunter and Gatherer come to mind when I saw your question Lane. According to Wikipedia confrontation is under the umbrella of conflict which then breaks dow in to more sub groups. Personal experience as a former Police Officer and years in Supervisory roles has reinforced my views on this.
Men as a general rule are more confrontational and prone to bravado. Woman on the other hand tend to seek solutions more unobtrusively. And after my gaff on the other thread, I think you handled it just like a guy would.     Hugs

Wendy

[iFindMeHere]

The words Hunter and Gatherer come to mind when I saw your question Lane. According to Wikipedia confrontation is under the umbrella of conflict which then breaks dow in to more sub groups. Personal experience as a former Police Officer and years in Supervisory roles has reinforced my views on this.
Men as a general rule are more confrontational and prone to bravado. Woman on the other hand tend to seek solutions more unobtrusively. And after my gaff on the other thread, I think you handled it just like a guy would.     Hugs

Wendy

*grins* i love this board. I bring up a gender question and get my own validated. lolol Thanks Wendy

[Wendy C]

The words Hunter and Gatherer come to mind when I saw your question Lane. According to Wikipedia confrontation is under the umbrella of conflict which then breaks dow in to more sub groups. Personal experience as a former Police Officer and years in Supervisory roles has reinforced my views on this.
Men as a general rule are more confrontational and prone to bravado. Woman on the other hand tend to seek solutions more unobtrusively. And after my gaff on the other thread, I think you handled it just like a guy would.     Hugs

Wendy

*grins* i love this board. I bring up a gender question and get my own validated. lolol Thanks Wendy

A peck on the cheek  Any time Dear, you are quite welcome.

[Luc]

I don't know about being confrontational, but I've always been a very blunt person, and it got me in a lot of trouble as a "girl." However, people seem to care just as much now that they see me as a guy... it simply depends upon the situation.

[Cristasphoto]

Confrontation may be a "male" thing socially...
However So was the Women's Lib
Burning Bras
DEMANDING A STOP TO DOMESTIC Violence and CHild abuse....
My point is :
confrontation is neccasary for progress/evolution...
Me I have an intersexed condition and grew up being hated evn by my own family...
So yes I will cuss/threaten someone in nansecond
as if I dont stand for our community I am inadvertantly dissing ya all
Understand???
Love
Crista
Stand GEt up
Stand up for your rights

[Lachlann]

I've often wondered it myself. I feel I get into trouble if I'm just a little confrontational about something. It's like I can't be grumpy or upset, I have to submit to someone else.

And, say, if I'm online or with well trusted male friends, they treat me as male. And I find if I'm indulge in being blunt or making fun of someone like we often do to everyone, no one cares. However, if I'm around people who see me as female, I'm seen as a jerk.

I'm not sure 100% if that is the case, however I can see it being a reason. It's rather annoying.

[sd]

Some men thrive on being confrontational.

[tekla]

It's only acceptable if you have some sort of reason for it.  People who are always picking a fight, or who take a contrary position just to take it are not highly valued, as its seen to go against the team deal and the entire 'getting things done' deal.  But if you are standing up for something that is right it tends to be seen as a good thing.

[Lisa Harney]

It's only acceptable if you have some sort of reason for it.  People who are always picking a fight, or who take a contrary position just to take it are not highly valued, as its seen to go against the team deal and the entire 'getting things done' deal.  But if you are standing up for something that is right it tends to be seen as a good thing.

Huh. I've seen a lot of people who stand up for something that's right (or against something that's not right) get written off as "picking a fight" or "taking a contrary position" and "not being highly valued."

[tekla]

Hey, if you are going against the grain, and you have two brain cells that can hit each other, then you are aware going in that its not going to win you any popularity contests at the start - though perhaps a national holiday long after your dead is not out of order.

However.... confrontation for the sake of confrontation is just being a jerk.

[DarphBobo]

On the other side, I saw (and directly experienced as the victim thereof) people being intentionally confrontational solely to cause problems for others and gaining approval or social standing for it.  It was even a significant factor at a previous job.  I could see nothing the person gained, only causing discord in the department.  His actions and comments strongly lead me to believe he simply enjoyed doing so as he intentionally approached it in ways that would be the least productive.  However, in spite of the trail of problems left in his wake, he was continually kept in that position of authority and his part in the delays and failures that resulted was simply ignored by management.

Although I was seen as male growing up, the parental view of me was that any confrontation in which I was involved (even if I didn't cause it) reflected negatively upon me.  I cannot explain this attitude in light of the fact that the opposite position was taken for my male sibling.

[tekla]

Hey, I just send them home and never call them again for another gig, which is $300 (take home) per gig.  If I wanted an argument, I'd go back to grad school.

[DarphBobo]

This was full-time employment.  He usually traded on having been in the industry longer than the rest of us combined, but had failed to keep current, which was regularly the source of conflict - the only project plan he would approve was one I could demonstrate was unworkable but that fact was ignored by him as well as management.

[Lisa Harney]

Although I was seen as male growing up, the parental view of me was that any confrontation in which I was involved (even if I didn't cause it) reflected negatively upon me.  I cannot explain this attitude in light of the fact that the opposite position was taken for my male sibling.

I had this experience, except my sibling was female.