Hi Zathura,
I guess I share a lot of similar concerns to those you express. After feeling like just dropping out and transitioning when I first arrived here, over the last few months I have found that there is something to be said for reflecting, and spending some time investigating why I feel like this.
Let's face it, I've lived this way for some 50 years, so why put my family through hell now? ..Can I really be that selfish, can I bring myself to risk destroying what I've spent a lifetime building?
...but then there is that little voice that tells me ..maybe it's my turn...
... ultimately only time will tell.
BUT... I find there is a lot of subconscious pressure on this forum to start formal transition, and some of the new arrivals here seem to succumb to that, taking our posts and discussions as an instant sign of approval to transition immediately at any cost.
I find this worrying, because they so often seem unsure when they arrive, and it's all to easy for what is said to act as a catalyst, without an understanding the circumstances. Don't get me wrong, I love this place for the support and understanding, but it is all too easy to inadvertently "push" too hard during the decision process.
Would they have transitioned if they had different advice...well probably yes...
....but would they have thrown caution to the wind and gone full out at it..
...probably not; at least some of the cases I've seen.
There has got to be a hope of salvaging more relationships with partners and children if these things are taken in a slower more structured way...
....So... I totally respect and agree with your decision to take time and take stock of your life and aspirations. Clearly it's better to do this before we get as far, or as public as Christine/Mike.
Like you say; back in time, some cultures would be consider us "wise" as opposed to "crazy" ......

Chrissty