Maybe it's due to the gradual nature of the changes. I mean, you might feel differently if you went to sleep one night as who you used to be and then woke up the next morning as who you are now. It'd be like "bloody hell, who's that hot girl!?".
But since the change has been a slow process, it's hard to pick up on.
I know it's not the same, but I used to be really large, and decided to drop a lot of weight. However, all the way through I didn't notice any difference in the way I looked, no matter what the scales said. I would look in a mirror and think "huh? How long is this supposed to take? Shouldn't something be happening by now?"
And even when 50lbs had gone, and everyone said I looked so different, I just couldn't see it. Lol, I still can't... but I do know I
feel better, and am pretty sure that if it'd happened in one single step, I'd notice. But since the changes were numerous, gradual and imperceptible... no.
You have to live with yourself 24 hours a day, during all the little unnoticable changes... and self-doubt can cloud your vision even more. Other people see only what they see, without the insecurity and emotional involvement that comes with it. They can be more objective simply by virtue that they have no 'final image' in their minds on how you
should look, or
want to look... they have no blueprint in their minds by which to compare you, as we all often do with ourselves (particularly with dysphoria, that blueprint can be pretty hardwired).
I hope that soon, you can see how beautiful you are, honey, and embrace it. *hugs* You may not trust your loved ones when they say it, because of wondering if it's genuine, but when someone you've never met says it, someone who has no vested interest, someone who's simply seen your picture and thinks you are really very beautiful... we can't all be wrong.
